Revenge is sweet

The guy who set this blog up bought a Lap top off Ebay in Britain, when it arrived it basically didnt work.

The guy who sold it then refused to acknowledge there was a problem and wouldnt refund......

So the guy who bought it set up a blog and put all the dodgy shit he found in the hard drive of the lap top.

This is hilarious - look out for the pics the guy has taken of womens legs on the tube!

I guess you shouldnt fuck with people!

Ummmmm???

KKK on a Ferris Wheel(1924) Not just lynchings then - fairground rides as well!

Not quite sure what to make of this...... Funny but disturbing at the same time

Get yours today!

UK farmers David Lucas and Brian Rutterford have been caught by the tabloid People (admittedly not the greatest source) selling gallows!

"I guarantee these will do the job. You can get rid of as many as five
people at a time. Each unit has five individual gallows and the
beauty of it is you can use it over and over again."

Apparently Lucas has been doing this for a decade! People posed as a representative of the Mugabe regime to carry out the purchase.

Now some might say so what - its no different to selling electric chairs etc, but the Mugabe regime! They'll just be cracking necks cause people disagree!

“Say you only have one execution team - that’s all you would need. They could travel around from village to village or prison to prison. It could save a lot of time,” he explains, helpfully.

We Can Be Heroes

Bloody Aussies have done it again!

We Can Be Heroes is a new series and its been described as a cross between The Games (stunning aussie spoof of the Olympics) and the League of Gentlemen.

Commedian Chris Lilley plays all the main characters - 5 Australians who have been nominated for Australian of the Year for various absurd feats.

It basically captures everything that is awful about Australians! Such as the 17 year old posh school girl - Ja'mie who has sponsored more Africans than anyone else - "Doing the 40 hour famine twice a week keeps me looking hot", and Constable Phil Olivetti - on being nominated for a bravery award - "I laughed at the suggestion when I nominated myself."- who saved some kids when the blow up castle they were in playing flew into a pylon, and Pat who has one leg shorter than the other and rolled from Perth to Fremantle - "Yes Im disabled... but I can roll"

This show is really weird but great - check out the site - you'll get the idea.

Tight!

Apparently this is what Karen is up to these days - this is a clipping from an Airforce Magazine

Go New Zealand!

The New Zealand entry in Google Idol - an online lip-synching contest has made the grand final - versus the British entry.

This competition actually has nothing to do with Google - they've just used their name - which is odd.

The NZers are "performing" Leo Sayer's truly awful You Make Me Feel Like Dancing

Watch their music videos and vote for the NZers here

Weirdest game of footy ever?

Well the much hyper Super 14 final was just plain strange. At around 6.10pm Jade Stadium was engulfed in a thick fog.














This meant that you couldnt see the other side of the ground - and meaning the TV coverage was made up of ground level shots of the field, and meaning anyone in the stands from about halfway up couldnt see a thing (including the coaches boxes and the commentary box!).


But because they had to film from both sides of the ground - watching it on TV was awful - continually changing direction.

And by the way - the Canes lost, going down 19-12. Essentially there was one broken tackle which led to a try - winning the game.

In other news Jerry Collins is set to captain the ABs against Argentina in Buenos Aires, of course you will remember the last time we played the Pumas over there - needing a last minute Ben Blair try to win. Richie McCaw is of course the squad captain, but this is great for big Jerry!

The selectors have chosen two seperate teams, one to play Ireland in two tests, and another 15 to play Argentina. How many teams in any sport could do that?? This will be the second time in two years that the ABs will have fielded entirely different starting 15s in consecutive weeks (Happened last year for the Welsh and Irish tests).

Todays the day

Well tonight actually

The Hurricanes play the Crusaders for the Super 14 title. Now I admit it - the odds are against us, but the Canes have absolutely nothing to lose!

So ill say it now - Im picking an upset - Canes by -12!

btw - England weren't looking to flash in their world cup build up match the other day..... still neither Brazil in the lead up to 2002!

Its not smart, and its not clever

Shock horror - The daft winners of the Eurovision song contest - Lordi of Finland have been unmasked by a Finnish tabloid.

Now just incase you didnt catch up with this - Lordi dress up in monster masks, and their gimmick was to never show their faces. They are supposedly a death metal type outfit - grrrrr

Unlike Kiss - who actually had some decent tracks, these guys are (like most Eurovision song contest winners) bloody awful.

What is most worrying is that people vote for the winners of this! and 200 000 Finns (not Neil or Tim!) have signed a petition protesting the publication of their faces.

Bands spending hours before a show having prosthetics applied is just daft. Probably serves more as a distraction to their gash sounds. Looks like bloody panto!

All though their are unconfirmed reports that Liam Gallagher has invested in a cape, sword and wizards hat. Go on admit it - he's dopey enough.

PS. Lordi's latest album is called The Arockalypse. Says it all really! ROCK

Should I stay or should I go??

Well everyone has a comment on this so why not??

Mark Inglis (the guy who lost both his legs to frost bite on Mt Cook, and who has since won a Paralympic Silver medal) recently climbed Mt Everest - no mean feat for an able body person - let alone a double amputee.

About halfway up his carbon fibre legs snapped (he taped them back together!) but eventually he got there. An incredible story.

But

Along the way his party passed an English solo climber who was basically dying. Now the party stopped to check on him, but did nothing and moved on.

Now lets be clear - over the couple of days that the Englishman was camped up and dying - 40 other people also passed him, only the NZ party actually bothered to stop.

Which brings us to the classic question - do you help him. All of us non-climbers have heard how you just don't, and I had assumed the media were making way to much out of it, but then Sir Edmund Hillary jumped in and said they were out of line, and that his party would have definitely stopped. The PM (who has climbed K2 - so knows a bit) said it was a bit harsh to put it all on Inglis - there were 40 others.

Rob Hall's wife (famous NZ climber who died up everest a couple of years back) Jan Arnold said Inglis couldn't be blamed, but as John Campbell said - it does look like the choice they made was between - climbing the mountain, or saving the mans life.

To be honest though - these expeditions only carry just enough oxygen and supplies for themselves, helping this guy out, could have potentially cost other lives.

But what a choice to have to make. To just keep on going knowing that man needs help.

UPDATE:
In todays Dominion (25 May) Inglis replies with quite a good analogy which puts things into perspective for us non-climbing types - "......... if someone standing on a bridge fell into the Huka Falls, would you jump in after them? At 8500m it's phenomenally difficult just to keep yourself alive." Inglis also points out that other people in their party were far better qualified than him to be of assistance.

Ben Harper's accoustic concert

Well apparently - as expected it was fantastic - reviews on his site here

One guy on there goes on about how ever since Diamonds on the Inside its been downhill - otherwise the others are all positive.

Apparently he didnt even use a microphone - just him and a guitar....... how cool is that!

Set list below - at least he didnt play By My Side - which would have really ripped.

Set I: • 11th Commandment > • Well Well Well • Pleasure And Pain • When It's Good • Power Of The Gospel • With My Own Two Hands • Another Lonely Day • Walk Away • Diamonds On The Inside • Where Could I Go • Steal My Kisses • Burn One Down • Please Bleed • Reason To Mourn • I Shall Not Walk Alone • Waiting For You • Morning Yearning • Happy Everafter In Your Eyes
Encore I: • Cryin' Won't Help You Now • There Will Be A Light • Please Don't Talk About Murder While I'm Eating • Amen Omen • Better Way

Urinal ettiquette

Well since the builders havent turned up two days in a row to finish the place off, ill just have to blog on something else.

I came across this site today, and it reminded me of a recent Urinal incident.

Its a game where depending on where others are standing in the bathroom, which urinal will you choose to piss in.

Click here to play...

bathroom update 3

The bathroom as it looks tonight - tiling is done - just needs to be grouted (which ill do once Ive painted). As you can prob tell, the shower, taps etc have also been installed.

Next step is the gib stopping, which begins monday, then painting from wednesday-ish followed by final tiling next weekend and grouting.

And we're done!

Hurricanes did it

Unbelievably the Hurricanes have made the final of the Super 14 - the first time in the franchise's history that they have made a super-rugby final (they have made the semis on three other occasions - 1997, 2003 and 2005).

It was another huge effort, the canes led 13-8 at half time, and spent the first 23 minutes of the second half (which seemed an eternity) camped in the Warratahs 22, and failed to score any points. The Tahs then scored two penalties to take a 14-13 lead with about 9 minutes remaining - to be honest we looked dead and buried. We couldnt crack the tahs defence, the first chance they got to score points - they took it, we replied by making a hash of the kick off - they score again. But not this time. Cane's first five, Jimmy Gopperth (dubbed Jimmy Dropperth by the aussie media for his shocker last week) slotted a penalty from halfway (lierally) to claim the lead back with 6 on the clock.

Lote Tuqiri (the decent black league convert - not to be confused with Wendall "the junkie" Sailor) then missed a drop goal, which he claimed went over (missed by a good 20m). Then all that was left was for the canes to hang on.

Which they did, winning 16-14. The highly favoured Crusaders play fourth placed Bulls in Christchurch tomorrow night. If the Crusaders win, the final will be an all NZ affair in Chch, otherwise if the Bulls pull off an upset - we're back in Wellington next week. Dare I say it - go the Bulls?!?!?!

Another bathroom update

Well the bath, toilet and most of the gibbing has been done. Also in the pics you will notice the new windows - and it opens!

You will also note the ladder type thing on the right - its the heated towel rail - the over-priced heated towel rail. To get a normal one costs around $60, to get that ladder style one costs $400 - I just dont know how it can be justified, I did get $100 off.

So now only the last of the gibbing, the gib-stopping, tiling and painting to go!

The Bathroom Update

Well the bathroom is now underway - today the walls were removed, you will note there is no floor either.

Tomorrow, new bath and new window are installed

Photo 1 is last night - the second image is how it looks today

A joke

I thought this was hilarious when I heard it - naturally works better when said, but hey who puts sound files on a blog???

Anyway here goes

What do you call a black man flying a plane?

A Pilot - what else would you call him you fuckin racist!

Hurricanes

Things were frankly looking dire for the Canes after their "effort" against the Reds.... but somehow they beat the earlier competition favourite Warratahs - in Sydney (where they have been unbeaten for two seasons) to secure a home semi final against the Tahs.

Frankly im scratching my head how they held the Tahs ou - but it was fantastic.

Also Wendell "Complete Waste of Money" Sailor has been suspended indefinitely for Cocaine use. This is on top of three previous late night drinking debacles.... one can only assume his career is now over - im sure League will have him back...

How good is that?

I was supposed to be going to Ben Harper's Auckland concert next week, but both me and Sel were denied leave from work. Considering that the concert is the monday straight after the Budget i probably should have checked leave i know!

Anyway I put the tickets (that I bought for $160) on Trade Me - and got $310! Thats gonna pay for my tiling!

Shitang! how good is that!?!?!?

Liam on Franz, Coldplay and ties

I thought these snippets were worth sharing.

A little harsh maybe, but you've got to love our Liam's slagging off of other bands. All this is from the latest Q interview with Liam.

"Franz Ferdinand? They're just Right Said Fred in a suit mate."

"What bothers me right now, OK, is that we are not the biggest band in the world anymore, U2, the Stones, even fucking Coldplay are bigger than us, but then Coldplay suck cock, don't they? I'd still rather be Liam Gallagher than fucking Bono with his fucking bible or Chris fucking Martin doing whatever the fuck it is he does."

"I like the fact that Arctic Monkeys are ordinary Northern boys and not ponces like Kaiser Chiefs or Franz fucking Ferdinand. Look at what those monkeys wear - probably takes them hours - hours to get ready to go onstage. Arctic Monkeys? I reckon it takes them 10 minutes - I respect that."

he continues
"I don't wear blazers and I don't wear ties."
Q - You do wear scarves though.
"Listen, soft lad. There's a world of difference between a scarf and a tie right? I'm nothing like those cunts."

While our Liam can be a bit of a twat, you've got to love his ranting - and pretentious wankers like Bono and Martin deserve to have the piss taken.

Why on earth

Mother of God

Apparently there is a live action version of Transformers on the way, starring Jon Voight, Bernie Mac and a couple of other nobodies.

Unless they are actually gonna build transformers its not really gonna be live action is it - 95% animation I would expect.

You just have to ask... why??

Transformers Roll Out!

Buck Rogers Shower

Much like Alan Partridge's Buck Rogers Toilet, I think I have found what can only be described as the best shower on the market.

The Methven Satin Jet is the macdaddy of showers - the foot fucking master.

You cannot appreciate its goodness until you have seen it in action - the water kind of rains down and seems to have a different texture almost.... you can test them at Plumbing World, when I did I exclaimed - Jesus Titty Fucking Christ im buying that beeearch!!! .... well almost.

Cant wait till its installed

International Star Wars Day

May the Fourth (get it?) is International Star Wars Day, make sure you mark the anniversary of the overthrowing of the evil empire by watching an episode, or if you dont have time - just hum the theme all day long to your colleagues.... they'll love you for it!

May the force be with you.

Non Adult Cartoons

In talking about adult cartoons - its made me think back to when Cartoons were wicked.

1. He Man and the Masters of the Universe
2. Voltron: The Defender of the Universe (is there a theme here?)
3. Thundercats
4. Teenage Mutant Ninja (or Hero if youre from Britain and offended by Asian martial arts) Turtles
5. Samurai Pizza Cats

close call was Eek the Cat and the Animaniacs - but they were early high school years, so don't count

Brentmeister General

Oh how good was the office. It's fair to say its been a little over done of late.... still its easily one of the best commedies ever.

If youre missing that goodness check this site out, it has sound clips from the show - and even though theyre only one or two words they still crack me up - racial.

And on that bombshell its time to play top 5 all time sitcoms.

1. Seinfeld
2. I'm Alan Partridge
3. The Office
4. Curb Your Enthusiasm
5. The League of Gentlemen

I was thinking about shows like The Simpsons and The Critic, South Park and the Family Guy, but I figure just chuck Ren and Stimpy in and you have a whole other top 5 - Adult Cartoons!

Blogging the build

Colour me stoked - the builders start tomorrow on my bathroom! I would post some before images but it is god-awful so im not sure it is appropriate.

Its a full refit im doing - replacing the bath, toilet (going for a buck rodgers toilet!) the walls and the windows.

finally it begins tomorrow!

Virtual Super 14

As soon as I finally get a lead in the competition - stormed to number 1 in our office ladder. Im let down by my sure bets.

Take last week for example the Canes blew their best chance to beat the brumbies, and the crusaders only managed a draw with the to date useless western force - Crusaders again stuffed me up by losing to second-bottom Stormers.

grrrrrrrr