One more week

Video below of the goals and that penalty shoot out from last weekend - my voice has now recovered!

It's amazing that in the last 18 months or so the best events at the Stadium have been two football games (NZ V Bahrain and the Phoenix v Glory play off) and the first ACDC concert - not one of the rugby games, including the Bledisloe Cup game in September come close.

E30 vs 190e

So on day one of the E30, Costa and I had a bit of a battle royale on the highway between Otaki and Wellington.

We were basically re-enacting the famous German touring car battles of the 80s when Mercedes tried to challenge BMW's E30 dominance by building the 190e with Cosworth Engineering.

Fair to say the E30 took line honours despite the smaller engine - it's all about the tactics hehe.

Also while I think of it you can actually buy the Cosworth.

Holiday fun!

I had loads of things to do these holidays - buy a new car, check, sweep stairs, check, buy some other unnecessary shit, check, have a suitably disastrous new years eve involving taking people to A&E following juvenile pranks, check. But one thing remains - its time for a physical challenge kids.

Learn the Beat It dance and break that shit out on the first day back in the office.

Some things

Does anyone else really not give a fuck about Tiger Woods crashing his car? Or whether or not he was shagging around? I just don't really care, so I'm not sure why so many column inches have been dedicated to it.

Also, in the last week I have learnt that Star Wars Lego is badass and I really, really want a motorised Lego AT-AT. This came up because one of my colleagues found out that her husband has a secret collection at work - including a Death Star.

Some quality in the form of a slightly incendiary opinion piece from Mike Moore on how green politics has become a religion. I do like his style at times.

And finally, I sitting here wondering what I am doing awake and more importantly what the hell I am doing watching English Premier League... of Darts. In what other country would you see 8000 people turn out to watch a game of Darts?

Intercollegiate Quidditch

I chucked this on the facebook a while ago when I wasn't bothering posting on here.

But anyway, did you know there is an Intercollegiate Quidditch league in the US? How awesome/dorky is that? It's a whole step up from US Civil War re-enactments and medieval jousting contests... at Manakau.


That's some logo huh? But the best bit has to be running around with a broom like a six year old. I think you know you've hit rock bottom when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, dressed up in your quidditch gears holding your broom - you would just think to yourself; 'what the fuck is wrong with me? what the hell am I doing?'

Anyway, check it out, I'm sure it will catch on...

Will it blend?

An oldie but a goodie. I'd forgotten how cool these were - basically he blends stuff and it's badass

BB Gun


and the iPhone3G

All White Motherf@%kers!

Well it still doesn't quite seem real but the All White's are in the 2010 FIFA World Cup.

I've never seen anything like last night. The crowd was amazing - almost entirely in white, chanting and carrying on the whole night. Unbelievable noise - my ears were ringing when Fallon scored from Leo's cross and yet it still got louder and crazier when Paston saved the penalty from the spot.

Wellington is the only place where you could pull off that atmosphere in New Zealand - it was epic.

Watts and I were both kitted out in our All White gears and we were still carrying on well after the final whistle.

How badass would it be if we had England, Australia and the All Whites in one pool? How badass is it that we can even talk about which pool we are going to be in!?

Time to book some flights to Africa!

What it sounds like when doves cry

Yesterday I made reference to Kevin Smith's Prince story. He told the story as part of his campus Q and A tour he did a couple of years ago. So anyway, its one of the funniest anecdotes that I've ever heard and leaves you in no doubt as to Prince's sanity. Luckily someone has posted in four parts - so here it is - a great watch if you're bored at work!

The penguin

Ok so I admit, I have been to see This Is It twice. I wouldn't say I loved it - but I think it did offer some interesting insights and totally worth seeing if you are a fan.

He kind of reminded me of Kevin Smith's descriptions of his interactions with Prince - just detached from any kind of reality, but pretty fucking talented all the same. Like how Prince's PA said he had spent the last 10 years in Prince-world, I think Michael had spent the last thirty years on Planet Michael.

Some of it like the uber-naff Earth Song was a bit of a drag, but you couldn't help but get into it when he broke out Smooth Criminal, Billie Jean and my favourite - Beat It. Is it just me, or would it be totally badass to break out the Beat It dance in the office? Go to the 3:50 mark on this video clip if you embarrassingly don't know the dance I'm referring to.

Of course with a nutbar there were some funny bits - like when he talked about loving the trees and what not, but the best WTF moment had to be the penguin flap thing during the painful, Human Nature which has turned into a bit of a youtube phenomenon. (see below) I think the Captain Crunch jacket only adds to it.

Mama-se mama-sa ma-makusa, indeed

You have no power over me

I got home from the pub tonight and chucked on Jim Henson's classic Labyrinth... as you do... and in doing so, I finally realised who Rodney Hide reminds me of - he looks like Hoggle!

Separated at birth? Seriously - the cheekbones, nose, forehead, eyes, lips look identical!

Palindromes

Ok so I've been really shithouse at this of late - lacking motivation and what not

But anyway, I thought I would share this - it's "Dammit I'm Mad" by Demetri Martin. If you don't know his show - Important Things With Demetri Martin on the Comedy Channel, check it out or have a squiz on the You Choob machines.

He has a thing for coming up with palindromes... so here is his 224 word palindrome poem in full.

Dammit I’m mad.
Evil is a deed as I live.
God, am I reviled? I rise, my bed on a sun, I melt.
To be not one man emanating is sad. I piss.
Alas, it is so late. Who stops to help?
Man, it is hot. I’m in it. I tell.
I am not a devil. I level “Mad Dog”.
Ah, say burning is, as a deified gulp,
In my halo of a mired rum tin.
I erase many men. Oh, to be man, a sin.
Is evil in a clam? In a trap?
No. It is open. On it I was stuck.
Rats peed on hope. Elsewhere dips a web.
Be still if I fill its ebb.
Ew, a spider… eh?
We sleep. Oh no!
Deep, stark cuts saw it in one position.
Part animal, can I live? Sin is a name.
Both, one… my names are in it.
Murder? I’m a fool.
A hymn I plug, deified as a sign in ruby ash,
A Goddam level I lived at.
On mail let it in. I’m it.
Oh, sit in ample hot spots. Oh wet!
A loss it is alas (sip). I’d assign it a name.
Name not one bottle minus an ode by me:
“Sir, I deliver. I’m a dog”
Evil is a deed as I live.
Dammit I’m mad.

Warm fuzzy time

HAL 9000

After months and months of trouble with the Peugeot it looks like we might finally have a solution.

for those who don't know, transmission has been playing up for ages and would occasionally go into what's called 'limp-mode' which means you basically lose acceleration, and you have to restart the car (which I had mastered, meaning id slot it into neutral, turn the key off, turn it on again and slip it back into drive - while still moving).

Peugeot said its an electronic issue, and you'll probably need to replace the transmission - looking at $2000 plus for a fix in short. But the old man of one of my colleagues, Hal, got wind of this and did a stack of research and came up with a genius plan involving new transmission oil and filters and a bit of good old jiggery-pokery.

And it worked!

This morning I had to re-start the car 12 times between Aro Valley and the Basin on the way to the mechanic. Coming home tonight and during the test runs this afternoon - it didnt go into limp mode once. Not once!

I felt like Renton finding the opium suppositories in the bottom of the toilet in Trainspotting - YES! You fucking dancer!

Sing when you're winning

Yesterday I spent the day down in Christchurch for work and last night I went out with my South Island colleagues for dinner and... karaoke. It's fair to say I'm quite the karaoke fan lol.

While I was initially outraged at the lack of Midnight Oil's Beds are Burning and ACDC's You Shook Me All Night Long I still pulled out a few stunners.

I kicked off with my hardcore Axel Rose impression with Sweet Child O Mine and followed that up with Oasis' Supersonic, Pearl Jam's Better Man, The Cranberries' Zombie, Radiohead's Creep, The Killers' Mr Brightside and The Knack's My Sharona.

Then it was time for the big guns - as always, I broke out a mean version of Elvis' Suspicious Minds then Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit before hitting the high notes with The Bee Gees' Night Fever.

I then closed out the evening by kicking ass with one of my colleagues with Rage Against the Machine's classic - Killing in the Name. Yeah there were a few dropped jaws when we got to the "Fuck you I won't do what you tell me" part ROFL. The video below kind of replicates just how it went from my perspective. That's how we roll.

Viral from that other company

What has Bill been reading??

It turns out that the 20 or so readers a day that I get on here might be of a higher calibre... or at least ranking than I had thought.

Earlier this week the Mayor's office tried to correct my outrageous disapproval of the location of the council's Indoor Sports Centre. (turns out that hell hath no fury like a... property developer scorned!?!). I'm totally getting blacklisted after that outburst huh?

But tonight NZPA have reported that Minister of 1950s Haircuts and Finance, Bull Unglush, has confirmed that the Government is looking at allowing struggling businesses to move to a four day week, with workers doing government funded training on the fifth... sound familiar??

So Kerry, Bill, uh Anand, Helen, Tana, Barack and Kevin, welcome. (btw my consultancy invoice is in the mail)

All kinds of awesome in one

Hat tip to Gizmodo/via Pat for this - there is a new Japanese show called, Engine Oh G12, that basically combines Voltron with Power Rangers - watch the video below. Guaranteed to blow your freakin socks off.



From the Gizmodo write up -
"What's so wonderful about Engine Oh G12 is that it's literally ballooned the genre beyond parody. The show has upped the ante of the giant vehicle-assembled robot television so immensely that it's beyond the scope of humorous exaggeration, its components refined to such a point where every individual element is, in itself, too pure to be tainted by sophomoric prop humor. To fully appreciate this the clip, look beyond the obvious and examine the subtleties of presentation. For instance, two vehicles are there only to serve as covers for the robot's shoes."

Public humiliation

As part of the Council's Summer in the City series, our psychotic work personal trainer, Mish, is organising "Putting the Well in Wellington" fitness sessions at Frank Kitts Park - and through immense peer pressure we are basically forced into participating.

It started this week and its fair to say after spending 40 or so minutes doing all sorts of daft sit ups, leg lifts, press ups etc etc with 150 other mugs (and infront 200 others) I feel suitably humiliated and well... fucked.

The best bit had to be while doing the leg lifts when after counting down to 2 to go, she then paused and said "3 and 2 and.... pulse". Who comes up with this stuff?? Mind you, Mish is NZ personal trainer of the year so she must know what she's doing... although as I said to her, if she was really that good - I wouldn't look like this. lol

Oh and in other stupid exercise news, the other morning while buying a coffee down at Legato I entered a competition to win a 6 month membership for Exodus Health Club and cutting a long story short - I won!

Male librarians

I got forwarded this very funny link today - 30 guys who look like lesbian women

Below are some of my favourites - Jack Osbourne, Chief Joseph and Johnny Rotten

The T-mobile dance

Hat tip to senor Weston for this.

T-Mobile's fantastic telly advert - give it two years and I guarantee Saatchi's come up with a 'great new idea' along the lines of this for another telco!

Watch the ad first, and the making is below it



Making of