Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The new addition - a dirty E30

So I went and bought myself a motoring classic today - a BMW E30 coupe. The beauty of the E30 is its simplicity - ie the electrics cant shit themselves like they did in the Peugeot because there aren't really any. But the main reason I bought it is because they are wicked to drive and relatively low cost.

It's NZ new - still has the original Shelly BMW label. Rock and Roll. This here is an artists impression of what me driving it up my windy/hilly road could look like.



Funny ad

At this time of year I really have fuck all to say - so here's a funny ad

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Christmas greetings

Xmas with Sufjan Stevens... (who you will know from that song in Little Miss Sunshine)

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I love peter kay

I was feeling really shitty last week and was off crook for a couple of days so I watched every episode of Phoenix Nights - seasons 1 and 2 back to back and then backed it up with Peter Kay's stand up from Bolton. I fucking love Peter Kay, I think he's brilliant - anyway, he made me laugh so I thought I'd share

Friday, December 11, 2009

Everyone's a little bit racist

Some friends of mine just got back from New York and while there they checked out Avenue Q the musical - it's basically a pisstake of Seasame St.










I cracked up listening to the soundtrack, so I thought I would share my favourite track - Everyone's a little bit racist.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

A desk with a view

Ok so I'm writing this at my desk which isn't so good (if you notice the time), but I can't really complain about my view tonight.

The picture doesn't really capture the brightness of it, but hey, if you want to assist in my entertainment you can do your own tree design here.

Some things

Does anyone else really not give a fuck about Tiger Woods crashing his car? Or whether or not he was shagging around? I just don't really care, so I'm not sure why so many column inches have been dedicated to it.

Also, in the last week I have learnt that Star Wars Lego is badass and I really, really want a motorised Lego AT-AT. This came up because one of my colleagues found out that her husband has a secret collection at work - including a Death Star.

Some quality in the form of a slightly incendiary opinion piece from Mike Moore on how green politics has become a religion. I do like his style at times.

And finally, I sitting here wondering what I am doing awake and more importantly what the hell I am doing watching English Premier League... of Darts. In what other country would you see 8000 people turn out to watch a game of Darts?

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Supporting a culture of death

I'm not going to link to it, you can google and find their site if you must, but Right to Life are calling for a boycott of Telecom since it "supports the killing of unborn children."

Of course this is in response to the Family Planning Association being part of the community sponsorship programme.

From Right to Life's blog post:

Right to Life is disappointed that Telecom New Zealand has been supporting a culture of death by making annual grants to the New Zealand Family Planning Association of $50,000 for 2006 and 2007.

Right to Life is totally opposed to grants being made to this controversial Association. We know that the Family Planning Association is strongly pro-abortion. The Association is the major abortion referral agency in New Zealand; it believes that we need abortion as a back up for so called failed contraceptives.


What pricks.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Intercollegiate Quidditch

I chucked this on the facebook a while ago when I wasn't bothering posting on here.

But anyway, did you know there is an Intercollegiate Quidditch league in the US? How awesome/dorky is that? It's a whole step up from US Civil War re-enactments and medieval jousting contests... at Manakau.


That's some logo huh? But the best bit has to be running around with a broom like a six year old. I think you know you've hit rock bottom when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, dressed up in your quidditch gears holding your broom - you would just think to yourself; 'what the fuck is wrong with me? what the hell am I doing?'

Anyway, check it out, I'm sure it will catch on...

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Christmas tree

Shameless promotion really, but this is pretty cool I think - I'm off to Auckland today for the launch of our Christmas tree. Wellingtonians will have also noticed that one has popped up in Frank Kitts Park as well this year which gets switched on from Tuesday night. (hard not to notice a 30m or seven storey tall tower)

There a phone boxes at the base of the tree for kids to call santa from - their wishes shoot up the tree to the star. For the older kids you can just sit on the beanbags underneath it and gaze at the lightshow.

So check it out - Western Park, Ponsonby Rd Akld or Frank Kitts Park, Jervois Qy Wgtn.

Vid gives you the idea

Friday, November 27, 2009

Looking for Eric

Tonight I went and watched the very good comedy drama, Looking for Eric at the Lighthouse. It's about a middle aged guy named Eric from Manchester who has hit rock bottom in his life. He is bringing up two little shit teenage boys who both hate him and a daughter (and grand daughter) by another woman whom he still longs after. Basically, Man U legend Eric Cantona appears to him as a hallucination, acting as a desperately needed life coach and personal trainer.

It's essentially like mixing the Premier League with the Full Monty - along the same lines as numerous other gritty British flicks, but still very funny and definitely worth checking out. The strong cast is made up of several well known faces from shows like the excellent, Shameless, but Steve Evets is particularly strong as Eric.

Oooh ahh Cantona! Check out the trailer.

So anyway, while we're on Cantona - here are a few highlights (all of which are of course referenced in the film). The amazing goal from the 1996 FA Cup final against Liverpool that he powered into the net off a Beckham corner that rebounded off the keeper. The kung fu kick against a Crystal Palace fan (which was later used by Ash as the cover of their single 'Kung Fu'), and lastly the subsequent press conference where he blew everyone away with his genius philosophical insights.

The goal


The kick


The press conference

Monday, November 23, 2009

Will it blend?

An oldie but a goodie. I'd forgotten how cool these were - basically he blends stuff and it's badass

BB Gun


and the iPhone3G

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Fkin Nazis, nothin changes

I watched the over hyped Boy in Striped Pyjamas the other night and I'll be blunt, I thought it was nonsense.

It's from the director of feel-good classics like Little Voice and Brassed Off. Turns out that brass bands and show tunes are more his thing.

I'm no fan of flippant treatment of the holocaust which meant this tosh tried my patience. It annoys the hell out of me when people try to find 'beauty' in war - actually war is ugly and it's no source of hope.

This film is the story of the nine year old son of a Nazi Commandant who runs a concentration camp. The son makes friends with 'the boy in striped pyjamas' who is on the other side of a rather flimsy and unguarded wire fence that would look more at home keeping bobby calves penned in.

Cut to the chase, we are all supposed to feel warm and fuzzy as the boys play together and eventually the Nazi boy simply burrows under the fence so they can kick about like normal kids and have a gay old time. SPOILER ALERT. Then tragedy ensues as, sure enough, they both end up in the gas chamber and are killed before the Commandant realises his son is in there. You know, forget the other 100 people in there - it's really shocking the Nazi kid got dragged into all this...

Why should killing the Nazi kid accidentally be any more shocking than butchering everyone else deliberately?

Why do we need to humanise the Nazis? Why do we need to look for humanity or some sort of beauty in the fucking holocaust? Six million people of different races and creeds suffered horrific deaths - end of story - and frankly I don't need some sentimental schmaltz to help me reflect on how there are no real winners from conflict or that we could all learn from the supposedly innocent children.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

All White Motherf@%kers!

Well it still doesn't quite seem real but the All White's are in the 2010 FIFA World Cup.

I've never seen anything like last night. The crowd was amazing - almost entirely in white, chanting and carrying on the whole night. Unbelievable noise - my ears were ringing when Fallon scored from Leo's cross and yet it still got louder and crazier when Paston saved the penalty from the spot.

Wellington is the only place where you could pull off that atmosphere in New Zealand - it was epic.

Watts and I were both kitted out in our All White gears and we were still carrying on well after the final whistle.

How badass would it be if we had England, Australia and the All Whites in one pool? How badass is it that we can even talk about which pool we are going to be in!?

Time to book some flights to Africa!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Labia you dumb mole

I know I've blogged about this film before, but I watched again last night and shit it's funny.

In case you havent seen it, Hercules Returns is pretty much the best Australian film ever. It's about these people who try to reopen an old Melbourne cinema - The Picture Palace. But on opening night they are sabotaged by the local multiplex owners who swap the English version of Hercules for the Italian one. So they set about re-dubbing the film - and it's hilarious.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

MMP Poll

In an excellent use of the Facebook, UMR research did a preview of a poll that it is releasing tomorrow on MMP.

It is based on the referenda we will undertake at the next election. My feeling is that it will be a tight race and a lot will depend on peoples satisfaction with the Government going into the election.

The poll puts MMP on 48 per cent support with 40 per cent saying they would like a change of system (I assume the remainder don't know).

I think most peoples disatisfaction with MMP arose when a large number of people didn't end up getting the government they wanted after a minor party shifted its support around. Like for example in 1996, when NZ First went with National after saying it would never do that, and NZ First accepting those baubles in 2005 with the relatively popular Greens missing out altogether.

But currently we have a popular government, so not surprisingly, most people are opting to stick with the status quo. So this could change obviously - especially if the Government continues to "do nothing" as Rodney says.

As I've said before, I think we need to keep MMP, but I would like to see a few improvements.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Sing us a song, you're the piano man

Very cool subway stair installation

What it sounds like when doves cry

Yesterday I made reference to Kevin Smith's Prince story. He told the story as part of his campus Q and A tour he did a couple of years ago. So anyway, its one of the funniest anecdotes that I've ever heard and leaves you in no doubt as to Prince's sanity. Luckily someone has posted in four parts - so here it is - a great watch if you're bored at work!







Monday, November 09, 2009

The penguin

Ok so I admit, I have been to see This Is It twice. I wouldn't say I loved it - but I think it did offer some interesting insights and totally worth seeing if you are a fan.

He kind of reminded me of Kevin Smith's descriptions of his interactions with Prince - just detached from any kind of reality, but pretty fucking talented all the same. Like how Prince's PA said he had spent the last 10 years in Prince-world, I think Michael had spent the last thirty years on Planet Michael.

Some of it like the uber-naff Earth Song was a bit of a drag, but you couldn't help but get into it when he broke out Smooth Criminal, Billie Jean and my favourite - Beat It. Is it just me, or would it be totally badass to break out the Beat It dance in the office? Go to the 3:50 mark on this video clip if you embarrassingly don't know the dance I'm referring to.

Of course with a nutbar there were some funny bits - like when he talked about loving the trees and what not, but the best WTF moment had to be the penguin flap thing during the painful, Human Nature which has turned into a bit of a youtube phenomenon. (see below) I think the Captain Crunch jacket only adds to it.

Mama-se mama-sa ma-makusa, indeed

Sunday, November 08, 2009

You have no power over me

I got home from the pub tonight and chucked on Jim Henson's classic Labyrinth... as you do... and in doing so, I finally realised who Rodney Hide reminds me of - he looks like Hoggle!

Separated at birth? Seriously - the cheekbones, nose, forehead, eyes, lips look identical!



Saturday, November 07, 2009

It's a virus - nothing we can do

Unruly Media in the UK have come up with some of the coolest campaigns in the last 12 months and I thought I'd share a few

Pot Noodle wanted to do a spoof of this -



So Unruly came up with this -



They came up with a yodeling XBox game - Alpine Legend - to promote a snowboarding festival in Austria



And of course my favourite - they pulled together T-Mobile's karaoke sing along in Trafalgar Square

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Kingmaker

Family Cactus now even have a music video - friend'o blackbird singing, Adam is of course on vox and lead

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Palindromes

Ok so I've been really shithouse at this of late - lacking motivation and what not

But anyway, I thought I would share this - it's "Dammit I'm Mad" by Demetri Martin. If you don't know his show - Important Things With Demetri Martin on the Comedy Channel, check it out or have a squiz on the You Choob machines.

He has a thing for coming up with palindromes... so here is his 224 word palindrome poem in full.

Dammit I’m mad.
Evil is a deed as I live.
God, am I reviled? I rise, my bed on a sun, I melt.
To be not one man emanating is sad. I piss.
Alas, it is so late. Who stops to help?
Man, it is hot. I’m in it. I tell.
I am not a devil. I level “Mad Dog”.
Ah, say burning is, as a deified gulp,
In my halo of a mired rum tin.
I erase many men. Oh, to be man, a sin.
Is evil in a clam? In a trap?
No. It is open. On it I was stuck.
Rats peed on hope. Elsewhere dips a web.
Be still if I fill its ebb.
Ew, a spider… eh?
We sleep. Oh no!
Deep, stark cuts saw it in one position.
Part animal, can I live? Sin is a name.
Both, one… my names are in it.
Murder? I’m a fool.
A hymn I plug, deified as a sign in ruby ash,
A Goddam level I lived at.
On mail let it in. I’m it.
Oh, sit in ample hot spots. Oh wet!
A loss it is alas (sip). I’d assign it a name.
Name not one bottle minus an ode by me:
“Sir, I deliver. I’m a dog”
Evil is a deed as I live.
Dammit I’m mad.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Monday, July 13, 2009

HAL 9000

After months and months of trouble with the Peugeot it looks like we might finally have a solution.

for those who don't know, transmission has been playing up for ages and would occasionally go into what's called 'limp-mode' which means you basically lose acceleration, and you have to restart the car (which I had mastered, meaning id slot it into neutral, turn the key off, turn it on again and slip it back into drive - while still moving).

Peugeot said its an electronic issue, and you'll probably need to replace the transmission - looking at $2000 plus for a fix in short. But the old man of one of my colleagues, Hal, got wind of this and did a stack of research and came up with a genius plan involving new transmission oil and filters and a bit of good old jiggery-pokery.

And it worked!

This morning I had to re-start the car 12 times between Aro Valley and the Basin on the way to the mechanic. Coming home tonight and during the test runs this afternoon - it didnt go into limp mode once. Not once!

I felt like Renton finding the opium suppositories in the bottom of the toilet in Trainspotting - YES! You fucking dancer!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Cactus Day Monday

See what happens when you intern with me?

The Family Cactus was on Radio NZ's Music 101 yesterday - clip below, and on Monday the 13th their album Come Howling is out... on Sony Music no less, and will be on iTunes.

Download it bitches.



Wednesday, July 08, 2009

How cool is this?


Just seen this over at the Eye of the Fish (Wellington urbanism and architecture blog)

The Wellington City Council has agreed to put over $4million towards cycleways and as part of this they are going to explore building a 70km cycle and walk way from Pencarrow point right around to Owhiro Bay. Yay!

I think this is an awesome concept.

Obit

In the last week or so we have seen the passing of two totally different but oddly, equally significant figures from the last 40 years - Robert McNamara and Michael Jackson - figures from wildly different backgrounds and accomplishments but both saddened me all the same.

For people around my age group, you couldn't help but be a fan of Michael Jackson. I grew up immersed in his music - the first two albums I ever owned were Thriller and Bad - I can remember going to the movies to watch the glorified music video that was Moonwalker, and making lame attempts at the Smooth Criminal lean (that link is totally cool btw) and of course moonwalking. But for me personally, after Dangerous (and the arrival of grunge!) Jackson's relevance dimmed somewhat and in a funny kind of way, for all intents and purposes, he passed away long ago which has meant his passing has had far more of a tragic tinge rather than a shocking one.

On Robert McNamara, upfront I'll say that I believe that ultimately the expansion into Vietnam was LBJ's doing but also that McNamara should have gotten the hell out of there far far earlier. For anyone who doesn't know, McNamara was Kennedy and Johnson's Secretary of Defence. He remains the longest ever serving Defence Secretary and up until Rumsfeld, the most controversial.

But he is also one of my all time favourite political figures - there is something beautiful in politics when someone so powerful openly acknowledges and discusses their failings. I maintain that he is one of the smartest people to have ever held a Cabinet position in the US (or anywhere probably) and to this day I have his eleven lessons pinned above my desk. I still think that his first lesson of war - to empathize with your enemy - to understand their thinking and where they are coming from is his most important and is so applicable to politics - yet tragically missing from so many political strategies. It was Kennedy and McNamara's empathy with Kruschev that avoided nuclear war during the Cuban Missile Crisis and as he notes in the video below, it was the lack of empathy that allowed the Vietnam War to get so far out of control.

This is a clip from the fantastic 2003 McNamara documentary, The Fog of War. For anyone interested in conflict and politics its an absolute must watch - his insights into the WWII fire bombing of Japan is especially mindblowing.

Monday, June 29, 2009

A Ryan Adams treat

Was over at the Cardinal Cave earlier (which kind of isn't really a cave or blog anymore) and I discovered that Ryan has done new versions of a couple of tracks from Cardinalogy - Fix it and Magick. You can listen below - they're quite different and little more funky, but they definitely grow on you.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Prickly downloads

Big ups to Adam's band, The Family Cactus, who have finally released their first single - Kingmaker.



You can listen to Kingmaker and two other tracks including my favourite, In Transit, on their MySpace site or download Kingmaker at iTunes - go on spend the $1.79!

Otherwise the Family Cactus are playing Mighty Mighty on 3 July.

Stupid people = stupid questions


At the moment I'm selling off my Nintendo Wii and all the games etc on Trade Me and in doing so I have discovered a whole new world of stupidity - the idiotic questions you get from people about the item you're selling.

Some examples:
On the auction it says - Seller allows pick-ups, Seller is located in Wellington City, Wellington.

So why would you ask "Where would pick up be please?" - why do you think I would be anymore specific at this point?

Or this one: "do u interest to sell ur wii fit and star war for 100$?" Uh no, if that was what I was interested in selling... that would be what I'm advertising.

"May i ask why you are selling please??" How about because I want to? I felt like answering, I'm selling because its hot and I need to shift it asap.

So anyway at work we were talking about the inane questions you get and one of my colleagues mentioned that his old man sells all sorts of junk and given his temper - he hates getting daft questions too... So what else were we to do...

The latest auction he is running is for beer bottle openers - which come in packs of three and are coloured Red, Black and Green (black ones pictured). But we had some (infuriatingly obvious) questions as follows -

Q. Do you have 5 packs of these available? Also how many bottles could you expect each one to open?
A. They are auctioned in lots of three.In regard to the number of opens I really have no idea. Cheers

Q. Do you have a full range of colours? Do you have Yellow? or Red?
A. No yellow. Red listed. Cheers

Q. How many colors r there? Will u sell just a red one?
A. We do not list this item in single units. Cheers

I like how he kept hiding his rage by adding 'cheers' to each one.

Childish prank for the week? Check!

Oh and if anyone wants a Wii - the auction closes monday night.

When blue meets gold

Former Vermont Governor and DNC chair, Howard Dean spoke at the Liberal Democrat conference in the UK earlier in the year. He talked about how the Democrats had to actually learn how to communicate their values better and not be afraid to campaign in all states and all areas.

Check it out below - a really good watch and loads of parallels to NZ.


Sunday, June 21, 2009

Don't judge me

So I've been a bit shit on the blogging front of late. I have actually had stuff to talk about but finding the time and dare I say it, inspiration, to blog has been hard.

But anyway I will attempt to start transmission again this week.

And to kick off - He's Barack Obama - the new vid from Jib Jab. Love the pirate ass kicking and cigarette smoking reference.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Internets are awesome

I think these videos are what the interwebs were invented for... I give you face plants











Sunday, May 24, 2009

If you still don't think it's torture

From MSNBC's Countdown with Keith Olbermann on Friday - Rightwing Radio shock jock, Erich 'mancow' Muller allowed himself to be waterboarded to prove it's not torture. His reaction after lasting only 6 seconds of waterboarding:

"I do not want to say this. It's absolutely torture, absolutely. I mean, that's drowning."

And as Keith says - this was the Rolls Royce version. Muller could stop it at anytime, he didnt have to go through sleep depravation in advance and not know whether they would stop. He also didn't have to go through it 180 times.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Systemic Failure

So there has been a bit of talk around the forthcoming MMP referendum. Labour seems to be leaning towards the idea that we should stick with MMP - people are now largely used to it and we've had stable government for the greatest part of the last 13 years - well aside from the messy break ups of NZ First in 1998 and the Alliance in 2002.

But MMP isn't perfect - if anything it gives minor parties something of an advantage (that's what it was designed to do for post-Nazi Germany so no one party would dominate) and at times they can dominate the landscape. Mind you, that isn't always negative - if it wasn't for the Alliance's influence on Labour, we would not have paid-parental leave to the same extent as families now enjoy and KiwiBank would not exist.

No one at this stage is calling for a return to first past the post - which does show that we have at least matured a little. John Key has said he likes the idea of Supplementary Member (SM) and I must admit I'm reasonably partial to that system in the New Zealand context. SM is similar to MMP in that you have two votes - one for the candidate you prefer in your electorate, and the other for your favourite party, however, under SM the party vote doesn't determine the make up of the whole house, only the list seats. Basically what this does is put more emphasis on winning electorates - which I like.

But what would have happened had we had SM since 96 instead of MMP? Well honestly the actual result wouldn't have been too different. 1996 and 1999 the results would have been similar, 2002, Labour would have easily governed alone and 05 would have been about the same as follows: (the standard has the 2008 example - Nats govern alone)









The way I see it though, is that we could basically achieve the same thing by making a few alterations to MMP instead of changing system entirely. The one seat threshold (where a party gets its party vote allocation if it wins one electorate) could be raised to something more akin to the German system like 3 seats - so parties like ACT can't just leverage off one electorate seat and have disproportionate influence. I would also go back to the Royal Commission's original recommendation of a 4 per cent threshold on the party vote.

Also, why not remove the safety net of the list? So you either stand as a list or an electorate candidate. This would mean the hacks that get rejected by their electorate are truly gone. It would also serve to rid us of the lazy attitude so many current list MPs who once held electorates took to their local constituencies - they would either lose and be gone, or stand aside and let someone who really wants to represent a particular constituency have a go.

As I said late last year, I think Labour reconnecting at a local level has to be the number 1 priority for this early part of opposition. I think we should stick with MMP for a while yet but there are potentially some real positives that could come from reforming it - both by halting a lot of the wagging of the dog by minor parties, but also by pushing MPs to stay in touch with their constituencies. By just making a few tweaks and balancing things a bit better we could actually come up with a system that satisfies most of us.

Positively Musical

Big news today that Acca Dacca are coming back for the first time in ages to play Auckland and Wellington in January - yus!

It will be ACDC's first NZ concert in 14 years - I really can't wait!

I loved this bit of the Stuff article, talking about the new vocalist -

"Tragedy struck the group in February 1980 when lead singer Bon Scott died but like true rockers the group continued making music. Scott was replaced by Brian Johnson, who helped complete their album Back in Black which featured singles Hells Bells and You Shook Me All Night Long and has sold more than 22 million copies in the US alone."

By the time of the Auckland concert - Bon Scott will have been dead for 30 years FFS.

In other news - Wilco have a new album on the way which is all very exciting. I was a big fan of Sky Blue Sky and Yankee Hotel Foxtrot and and to whet your appetite they have released a free download track on their site here. It's a cover of Woody Guthrie's The Jolly Banker - it's not actually on the new album but hey its free and awesome.

Saturday, May 09, 2009

It's a small world after all

So I somehow ended up with two spare tickets to the Steve Coogan (Alan Partridge) show tomorrow night and I decided to chuck them on Trade Me. Now I had never actually bought or sold anything on Trade me so I wasn't entirely sure of what I was up to.

Anyway, so the auction happened, reserve was met etc etc and then I get an email telling me what the successful bidder's email is and how to contact her...

Turns out I recognise the name of the bidder... she's only my cousin who lives about 5 minutes away from my place.

Honestly, what are the chances?

On the plus side - at least since I had never bought or sold anything prior to this, there were no dodgy purchases to be seen by said family member in my purchase history...

Friday, May 08, 2009

The Terminator Paradox

Time travel in films always messes with my mind. I think I over analyse it a bit - but it really never makes sense to me. Take The Terminator for example - Kyle Reese is sent back to the past by the resistance movement to protect Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton), who will later give birth to the leader of the resistance, John Connor, from the T800 aka Arnie. But while Reese is back in the past he fathers John Connor when he gets it on with Sarah Connor... which means that if the machines hadn't sent the T800 to kill Sarah Connor (and stop John Connor being born) in the first place, then Reese wouldn't have been sent back and John Connor would not have been conceived... The Terminator Paradox.

On that note, tonight I watched the new Star Trek flick - its a pretty good watch, there are a few too many cheap gags in the form of comic relief (not quite Jarjar but still) and actors like Simon Pegg (Scotty), John Cho (Sulu) and Karl Urban (Bones) are all way underutilised to the point that Pegg basically is just comic relief late in the film. But anyway again it was the time travel that pissed me off here - I won't ruin what happens, but basically when you think about it the story doesnt make sense and Uhura's line that it's a new alternative reality - which supposedly explains everything is as bad as god botherers saying the lord works in mysterious ways. Like Spock, I just need a little more logic.

Oh and PS for Home and Away fans (don't lie you know you love the omnibus) Kim (or Keeeeeem as it was pronounced on the show) plays Kirk's old man. Oh and the dude that plays Chekov in Star Trek, also plays Kyle Reese in the new Terminator film.

Live long and prosper.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Ugandan coup at UN

Great timing by the Onion to take the piss out of the UN right now huh.

Ugandan ambassador carries out a coup on the UN - who knows what he will do with all those powers at his finger tips??

Monday, May 04, 2009

Planet black guy

I got told the other day that I'm a merchant of doom and gloom when it comes to the Labour party. So I thought - maybe I should be positive an put forward yet another idea for what Labour should be doing and offer up RNC Chairman, Michael Steele's approach for the Republicans in opposition.

As he says - it's beyond the cutting edge! It's all about taking their principles into "urban-suburban hip-hop settings." In his latest outing he talks about how he wears his caps backwards - apparently that's how he rolls...



More video below of Rachel Maddow and Melissa Harris Lacewell of Princeton analysing this... and taking the piss obviously.



I think Goff needs to show a little Steele and go beyond the cutting edge to Planet Black guy - it's bound to work, right?

Rock n Roll, Orphans and a bit of war

So during my temporary blogging hibernation it wasn't all work and beer, although there were unhealthy amounts of both, there were also several films.

First off we had The Boat that Rocked - now most of the reviews I read didn't rate it, but frankly I think they were looking for a bit much, it was like they were after something like 24 Hour Party People. It follows the goings on of a fictional pirate radio station off the coast of England and the government's attempts to shut it down. Anyway I thought the boat did indeed rock and while the ending is a little hammy there are some hilarious bits along the way and it features a stunning ensemble cast including Rhys Ifans, Bill Nighy, Ken Branagh, Nick Frost (Hot Fuzz), Rhys Darby (Murray) and the man himself - PSH, Philip Seymour Hoffman. I was looking for a few laughs and a decent distraction when I saw it, and it didnt disappoint - Nick Frost's character's description of the time he got diarrhea during sex almost had me in tears!

Next up we had Defiance, the true story of the Belorussian jewish family, the Bielski's during the war and how they fought back against the invading Nazis and saved 1200 fellow jews by setting up several camps in the forest. It's a harrowing story and the cast again is the real strength here with Daniel Craig playing the eldest brother and leader, Tuvia, the under-rated but excellent Liev Schreiber as Zus and Jamie "Billy Elliot" Bell as the youngest brother Asael.

Unfortunately the film is let down by some of the writing and directing - with too many blunt rushed scenes that feel like they've been dropped in to tell you things that they'd forgotten to mention, along with crude passages of dialogue with some lines that are on the verge of being laughable. But on the whole its a worthy film and as I said the performances carry it through, but I can't help but think that with a little more polish it could have been so much better.

Finally the last film I wanted to mention was Spanish ghostly horror tale The Orphanage. Its the story of a woman, Laura, who grew up in an orphanage and who later moves back there as an adult with her family to set up a special school. Along the way her son inadvertently welcomes a few dormant spirits back and then himself goes missing. Ultimately its more sad than scary as it follows Laura attempting to unravel what has happened firstly by dealing with the Police and psychologists and then by trying to communicate directly with the spirits. I won't spoil it but the ending is pretty shocking and given Guillermo Del Toro's involvement as producer, also quite graphic.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

In Transit

Over the past few weeks I had been wondering what the Council and Sculpture Trust were constructing on Karo Drive (the bypass). Initially I was a little worried that it would be yet another kinetic wind sculpture... but I'm really not sure about what is going up - it looks a little too shantytownish for my liking.

Don't get me wrong - i'm loving most of the works put up by the trust since it came about in the 1980s - so many have become icons of Wellington (the fern ball, albatross fountain, sky blues (the neon lights), Per Capita (the silhouette one) and so on), but this one looks like it should have one of those wacky sign things where you poke your head through a hole and get your photo taken, or some stocks.

I'll reserve judgement till we see the final thing - I really do hope it works.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Maddow mixing it up

Rachel Maddow making cocktails - lovin it

Saturday, April 04, 2009

A better product required

For both the first and second days of the third test between India and New Zealand, Wellingtonians have turned out in great numbers and while it was windy today, it was still a cracker.

In terms of selling the TV rights back to India, tours by Indian teams have become cash cows - with this present tour estimated to be worth around $23 million to NZ Cricket - which will pretty much pay for everything till they are due to tour again. But it seems as though NZ Cricket have allowed this to get the better of them and they look like they've got a bit greedy.

They are now charging $27 for a single day pass - almost double what a day pass cost a year ago and roughly what you pay for a one day game or 20/20. Now if this was India vs Australia - then yeah, I'd be happy paying that - but we're shithouse and test matches against us only really test one thing - the patience of NZ supporters.

In other cricket related news, through work I went to a function at St John's head office the other night. St John's is now the official charity of the NZ team and THE NZ batsman, Ross Taylor, and bit part, James Franklin, were there. After the formalities and photos with the sponsors (ie me) etc Taylor basically attached himself to myself and my colleague and we chatted away for about an hour. I dont think it was anything to do with us being particularly interesting, but rather we were the youngest people by about 30 years.

It turns out he's a wine buff (who would have thought??) and he amazed us by picking it was an Australian Pinot that was on offer... show off. I voiced my outrage at Jamie How's non-selection and let him know that it was me that taught Jamie how to play that cover drive and solid forward defense when he was in my team at Intermediate. I'm not sure he bought it though as he turned down my offer of a personal batting clinic on Saturday morning with chuckle and a mock-offended "what, are you saying my forward defense is rubbish??" - but who's laughing now? There are a couple of days before the players leave for the IPL competition so the offer is still there.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

March Fest

Well I havent blogged in over a week because I have basically been out of town- spent two days at a vineyard in Martinborough and then Friday, Saturday and Sunday over in Nelson for March Fest.

March Fest is the annual celebration of the harvest of the Nelson hops and involved a tour around several micro-breweries and the main March Fest event at Founders Park on Saturday.

First up was the excellent little Lighthouse Brewery where master brewer and all around decent bloke, Dick, cracked us up with his yarns. While his Pilsener was a tad bitter for me, his 'Dick's Dark' ale was fantastic - strong coffee and chocolate hints... mmmm. This is us standing around at the Lighthouse drinking - its possibly the smallest commercial brewery in New Zealand!



Then it was on to Tasman Brewery, where I especially liked the Doppelbock and the Fern Dark, but what I really dug about Tasman is that they have set up three bars in Nelson all called the Sprig and Fern - one of which was located on the very suburban Milton St next to a dairy and fish and chip shop. They pride themselves on being a small community pub with no pokies or plasma screens - just really good beer. Check them out here - I got to thinking somewhere like Island Bay would be perfect.... hmmm....

The next morning we went out to NZ Hops - which smelt stunning, before heading to the Festival proper.





While at March Fest we checked out one of my favourite breweries - the organic, vegan friendly and now kosher Founders Brewery. I knew Founders was owned by the family of an old acquaintance, Matt, from university, but what I didnt know was that he is now brewing there and is actually behind their gold medal winning Fair Maiden Ale - and he is now going out with another friend of mine who I hadnt seen for five years. So it was basically one big catch up over a selection of Long Blacks (their very dark lager), Tall Blondes (gold lager) Generation Ale and their Marchfest brew - Fat Lip, which was an even darker ale. Good times!



You have to admire the purity of Founders - sixth generation brewers who have put their craft first despite the fact that they have forced themselves into having to be so inventive as there are only 4 organic types of hops in New Zealand and just as few types of malt.

Next day it was a tale of two breweries - the uber-flash, US owned, no expense spared (but a bit shit in terms of taste!) Golden Bear brewery - their kit is the first pic below - and later to the super relaxed, brewery in a shed with super friendly blue heelers, Townshend Brewery.





Wasn't a big fan of either on taste - but give me a Townshend any day!

After that we finished up at the Moutere Inn - who also claim to be NZ's oldest pub... which I always thought was the Thistle in Wellington - but oh well, they have better beer so I'll go with Moutere!



So all in all it was a great weekend of beer drinking organised by SOBA, the Society of Beer Advocates, who are trying to encourage people to be more discerning with their beer - you wouldnt drink cask wine, so why drink crap like Tui??

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Sing when you're winning

Yesterday I spent the day down in Christchurch for work and last night I went out with my South Island colleagues for dinner and... karaoke. It's fair to say I'm quite the karaoke fan lol.

While I was initially outraged at the lack of Midnight Oil's Beds are Burning and ACDC's You Shook Me All Night Long I still pulled out a few stunners.

I kicked off with my hardcore Axel Rose impression with Sweet Child O Mine and followed that up with Oasis' Supersonic, Pearl Jam's Better Man, The Cranberries' Zombie, Radiohead's Creep, The Killers' Mr Brightside and The Knack's My Sharona.

Then it was time for the big guns - as always, I broke out a mean version of Elvis' Suspicious Minds then Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit before hitting the high notes with The Bee Gees' Night Fever.

I then closed out the evening by kicking ass with one of my colleagues with Rage Against the Machine's classic - Killing in the Name. Yeah there were a few dropped jaws when we got to the "Fuck you I won't do what you tell me" part ROFL. The video below kind of replicates just how it went from my perspective. That's how we roll.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Pretty important

A clip below from Rachel Maddow's show the other night on torture that I think everyone should watch. Water-boarding is considered torture, Nazis were convicted at Nuremberg over it, and the Red Cross have confirmed that the Bush Administration were using that and other methods of torture.

Shouldn't we be angry that Bush and his minions have slunk away without having to confront this? While I'm all for moving on, torture is as serious as it gets when it comes to war crimes. Under the Geneva Convention the Red Cross have the power to judge whether torture has been carried out. So on that basis, surely now that they have confirmed torture took place at Guantanamo, Abu Gharib and other cloaked unconstitutional CIA prisons, someone actually needs to be held accountable.

If this was any African nation, Asian or eastern European country the public would demand justice and demand that those people who ordered it should stand trial for war crimes.

It is big time actually

My tickets to Steve Coogan's live show arrived today - YUS! I really hope they are selling his tie and blazer combo sets or his awesome black Castrol GTX that he wore to the funeral.

For anyone that doesn't remember Coogan - he was Alan Partridge the host of a military style quiz show on UK conquest, the host of Radio Norwich's 2am-6am slot and a failed BBC chat show host in the TV shows Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge and I'm Alan Partridge. Coogan's Alan shows are totally in my top 5 and were groundbreaking for their time - he was doing awkward fly on the wall comedy way before Gervais.

There were so many classic Alan lines and I still pull some of them out every now and then - Cashback! Jurrasic Park! Kiss my face! Smell my cheese you mother! Wings - they're only the band the Beatles could have been.

Anyway, here is some classic Alan - when he realises his new best friend, kitchen designer Dan and his wife are 'sex people' (dont worry its safe for work).

Monday, March 16, 2009

Reprazent

So we're having a work team-building planning day/bollocks whatsit next week and we've been given a list of things they want us to do in advance.

We have to come up with three factoids about ourselves - one of which has to be untrue and people have to work out which is made up - hilarity ensues. I'm thinking of throwing in either pedo, general sex offender or amateur abortionist - you know, just to liven it up a bit.

We also have to take the album that we think best represents us. Naturally, I'm taking this far too seriously - working through all the options and thinking about the ramifications of any choice. Do you go for one of the top 5? or a classic album? Wacky? Offensive? Inappropriate?? Political? It's a tightrope!

The top 5 is currently (alphabetically by artist) - The White album, Nevermind, Definitely Maybe and OK Computer (the fifth spot is currently vacant). But like Voltron, the four permanent members of the top 5 can't really work alone - that could be perceived as picking 'a' favourite album... who knows what could happen if that were to occur??

But going classic is risky - is it something like The Doors self titled album? ACDC's Back in Black? REM? Or should I go 'worthy' with Marvin Gaye's What's Going On or Sgt Peppers? Maybe all cool and alternative with some Sufjan Stevens, Sonic Youth or Flaming Lips? Mysterious and moody with some Ryan Adams or Johnny Cash - the man comes around? Zany with Tenacious D? Just plain odd with John and Yoko's Two Virgins? Would people get the irony if I took some Phil Collins or NWA??

Argh who knows?? I have a week or so to work it out. Ideas appreciated.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Top of the Pops

My 175,132 steps for last week was enough to get me in the top 10 for the entire business - all 8000 staff!

I was worried there for a bit, the Taupo Ironman was on the weekend, as was the Auckland Round-the-Bays run, but in fact it actually got me to seventh place and if I had done it the week before I would have been fourth.

The blister the size of a 50c piece on the ball of my foot has probably put paid to a repeat effort this week but oh well.

Are you fun my wife?

Classic Harry Enfield scene

Monday, March 09, 2009

Queen Charlotte

Well I'm annoyed to say it, but I have the blisters to prove I walked 24kms of the Queen Charlotte track. In doing so, i racked up 41,000 steps for the day and a grand total of 175,000 for the week - another team record which should put me in the top 10 for the country based on the previous weeks (fingers crossed). Goes without saying that the beer at the Portage afterwards was out of this world.

So anyway, for your viewing pleasure - sights of the Sounds (love a good pun)







Thursday, March 05, 2009

Elephants and Sundaes

I got my monthly update from Exodus gym today - all seems to be going well so far. It was just the month of February, so only covers my first two weeks but still made for hilarious reading.

It tells you how much you have lifted in total - 24,000kgs (obviously not at once) but they also translate that into an everyday object so apparently I have lifted the equivalent of 6.7 african elephants. I've also burned the equivalent calories of 10 chocolate ice cream sundaes... good to know I guess?

It is quite a cool system though. You have a pin/ID code that you log in at each machine, and it then tells you how many reps/sets you're supposed to do, at what weight and it also has your range of motion logged so you can't cheat and only do half a rep. You then get these updates emailed to you and the information is fed into the system for you and your trainer to check on.

So anyway thats enough of a plug for the gym.

Steps is still going well - Monday was 24,000, Tuesday 26,000 and Wednesday 24,000. Thursday is a bit down since I didnt get to do my lunchtime walk over Mt Vic and around Oriental Bay - but I should still make 20,000 all going well.

This week's total will get another boost too as I am now heading down to Marlborough Sounds... again, for a day trip with 3 other guys to walk a 23km section of Queen Charlotte track on Sunday. We're planning on starting at Camp Bay and walking to the Portage (to finish with a beer obviously).

Exciting huh?

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Glory Days

Some people may be surprised to learn that before my current life I was a checkout chick at New World in Levin and tonight I got a chance to reminisce.

Thorndon New World have introduced self-checkout... uh checkouts and I love them. I've had some hate on for the Thorndon checkout staff for sometime - FFS No I dont want detergent packed with food!

It was like old times - the other shoppers were no doubt in awe of the master class of scanning that I was displaying.

In other news, (I know you're thinking about it) in week 2 of the 10,000 steps challenge I completed a total of 132,809 steps - yus! Number one for our team (Corporate Punishment) and most improved also with an increase of 25,000 steps. Our team is still kicking the asses of our arch rivals (the lawyers).

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

That's Genius

Well week one of the 8 week 10,000 step challenge is done and my total was 108,416 which, given our 12 person team totalled 970,000, I think is pretty damn good.

But anyway, I thought I would give the genius feature on iTunes a whirl to fill my little iPod Shuffle (yes it was totally necessary to buy one... and some cool Nike headphones) and I have to say its pretty cool. To test it I used Tender by Blur and it pulled together a list including the Doves, Ocean Colour Scene, Ash, Flaming Lips, Wilco, Badly Drawn Boy, The Smiths, Bowie, Oasis, Sonic Youth and a few things I hadnt listened to for ages - like the Stone Roses - so all in all its pretty cool and made for a half decent gym soundtrack.

So since my favourite Stone Roses track is stuck in my head and also the cause of a bit of a gym faux pas (as I started singing along (albeit quietly) while doing Lat Pulldowns), here is This is the One.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

What has Bill been reading??

It turns out that the 20 or so readers a day that I get on here might be of a higher calibre... or at least ranking than I had thought.

Earlier this week the Mayor's office tried to correct my outrageous disapproval of the location of the council's Indoor Sports Centre. (turns out that hell hath no fury like a... property developer scorned!?!). I'm totally getting blacklisted after that outburst huh?

But tonight NZPA have reported that Minister of 1950s Haircuts and Finance, Bull Unglush, has confirmed that the Government is looking at allowing struggling businesses to move to a four day week, with workers doing government funded training on the fifth... sound familiar??

So Kerry, Bill, uh Anand, Helen, Tana, Barack and Kevin, welcome. (btw my consultancy invoice is in the mail)

So he's like, there?

Clip below from the Rachel Maddow Show on MSNBC the other night.

She interviews Thomas Gillespie, a geography professor from UCLA, who has used a geography model used for finding endangered species to work out where Bin Laden is... So if you've been thinking about trying to get in amongst the US25 million bounty, he finds a pretty good place to start.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Top Gear Live

I went up to Auckland on the weekend to check out Top Gear Live at the Auckland Showgrounds. It was a really good show but did lack that final punch I thought. The best bits had to be the four motorbikes in the collander of death and the Suzuki Swift stunts. There was also an exhibition of kick ass cars attached to the show including Mustangs, Corvettes, Porsches, Bentley's, Lamborghini Galardo's (which had a black suede dash) and of course Ferrari's.

I had read a review earlier in the day which mentioned some of the jokes, so some of the script seemed a bit set piece and Greg Murphy should stick to the track!

It was a great weekend in Auckland though, sipping Laphroaig Whiskey after dinner and golf after brunch the next day.

The photos I took were a bit shit, but you get the idea below.





Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Ten thousand reasons to get off my arse

Our team at work have just started doing the 10,000 steps a day challenge - I was warned in advance that "ohhh it's so much harder than you think." But uh I'm kind of making light work of it at the moment oddly enough.

In the first 24 hours (12pm Monday-11.59am Tuesday) I did 17,054 steps and since midday today I've done 11,833. Mind you I am making an effort, so I'm not that surprised - but still... this challenge is getting pwned!

On top of this of course we have our regular humiliation all scheduled to go tomorrow... I'm reliably informed our Mayor won't be showing up again... ah nevermind.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Wellington thinking

Why?
We had our second session of humiliation yesterday, the positive this time though was that since it had been raining there were less people to stare at us while they pie-munched and we contorted ourselves. The negative involved the instruments of satanic worship that are dynabands combined with the obligatory 'pulse' action. Ugh pain. The Mayor and the Phoenix players who had been participating didn't show this week - but as Mish said, "we don't need them anyway - they never win!"

Sevens
Despite going along last year for the first time, the whole sevens thing did seem a little tired this year and I think Tom over at the Wellingtonista summed it up nicely with his article "Thank God that's over". Mind you, I do wonder if the Cuba Street Carnival is really that much different? Isn't it just another case of a certain group of Wellingtonians letting their proverbial hair down - and shouldn't we just embrace all these events? Meh, maybe? But they do all get a tad boring after 10 years.

Courting controversy
Was it just me that let out an audible sigh of relief at the announcement that the Council's proposed 12 basketball court sized indoor sports stadium has been held up for another 18 months? I don't get why we need to rush to build this mammoth thing other than to give the dopey Mayor her swansong? For those who don't know, Wellington City Council is trying to build a huge indoor sports centre to attract national tournaments etc etc, which is all very good. But after originally looking at building it on top of the stadium concourse, and then on the waterfront, the Council decided building it over Cobham Park out in Kilbirnie (on the way to the airport) is better (images over at EOTF). In theory thats fine, but as anyone who has tried getting over/through Mt Vic when something is on out the other side, Kilbirnie is a nightmare to get to in peak traffic - so how would this location work if we had say 30 teams in town for a tournament?? So anyway, I'm happy its stalled again, even if it was a little dodgy how it happened, and I hope the 18 months now available will see sense prevail and other options considered. Btw, what about that pun for a headline eh? eh?