Wednesday, May 28, 2008

The Big Costello

Turning across the Tasman for a second I thought I would make some bold predictions of what i think is going to happen in the post-Howard era for the Liberal Party. Now while many of us have delighted in the fall of Howard and his cronies the manner in which the Party was crushed and gone from being a political powerhouse to something that resembles post-Tsunami Myanmar has had loads of people talking about how the Liberals will rebuild themselves.

Following the election, former Treasurer and Howard heir apparent, Peter Costello, seemed destined to take over the Libs and try to rebuild them - but of course he didn't, and instead 'honourably' stepped aside to let a new breed through. The ever irritating former leader and Howard Foreign Minister, Alexander Downer, similarly went to the backbench and appeared to be positioning himself for a future tilt at the South Australian Premiership (which he probably wouldn't win anyway against Kiwi expat and incumbent - Mike Rann).

Former Defence Minister, Brendan Nelson, beat out the more popular and electable former Environment Minister, Malcolm Turnbull for the leadership and has only really succeeded in making matters worse by taking the Party to new polling lows.

Till now I, like many people, have thought that its just a matter of time before Turnbull comes in like the cavalry and rebuilds the Party like David Cameron in the UK and John Key in New Zealand. But of late I've been pondering what really might be happening - and its all about Costello and Downer and how it will be them and not Turnbull that take over.

The party is hugely divided along factional lines and for every step forward, it has been pushed back two steps by internal fighting, mainly driven by the Costello-Kroeger faction from Victoria. Costello knew the party was going to be in a mess post election, and knew he would be pissing in the wind if he tried taking on Rudd while he was riding his post election honeymoon wave - which is why he didnt take the leadership. He also knew Turnbull wouldnt get the numbers. So the previously inoffensive but not particularly capable Nelson would become leader with Turnbull as shadow Treasurer and Downer and Costello would appear to be heading towards honourable exits from the political landscape on the backbenches.

But I think that Costello and Downer planned this whole situation. They have actively worked against Nelson behind the scenes and have blocked any attempt to kickstart the Party and I think they have used him as collateral damage and set him up to take the worst of the post-election carnage. Costello didnt want to inherit a mess and he knew it was only going to get worse in the interim. Not only are Costello and Downer waiting for Nelson to crash and burn, but they're also setting him up to take the fall.

In time they will then unleash a campaign to further kill off Nelson and do enough damage Turnbull to ruin his chances of taking the leadership in the near future, which will then see the Party becoming 'desperate' and pleading for Costello and Downer to return and lead them to promise land. Turnbull will be so wounded that while he will probably mount a leadership bid, Costello and Downer will crush him and Costello will become leader and Rasputin himself, Downer, will become shadow Treasurer.

So I guess we'll watch this space, but I don't think the situation is as simple as I first thought and I predict that Costello and Downer will lead the Liberals into the next election.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Oooo that's good

Onion satire at its best - a 20 vehicle horrific road crash serves as a sad reminder of the loss of Princess Diana

".. spilling blood across the Paris-roadway-coloured highway"

As the wreckage from today's tragic crash continues to smolder, one can't help but think of the accident that took the life of the People's Princess.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Does Cricket have the answer?

I never thought I'd say or think this, but I think that Cricket may just have the answer for Rugby.

Rugby has this huge talent drain going on with All Blacks being snapped up like New Zealand's dairy and vino exports meaning we are in danger of being left with the proverbial dregs. But the new IPL 20/20 competition may have provided a template for the way forward.

We shouldn't fight players being able to go and make stupid amounts of money - so why not create an annual window where players can go and let their hair down and play footy in competition which, lets face it, doesn't matter but provides entertainment.

This would provide the entertainment element that the TV companies want, bring in the dosh as people will want to watch it while also allowing the players to cash in (like Brendan McCullum etc) and take the shackles and pressure off of the Super 14/Test rugby.

Essentially I would split the year into three windows - November-January run the private 20/20 competition up in Europe (or any other cash-cow location!) then mid March to late June run the Super 14 in the South and Heineken Cup in the North and then the final window - July-October will provide time for Test rugby - with proper tours each year as well as the Bledisloe. The Tri-Nations should be moved to be a biannual tournament running around the World Cup.

The World Cup would fit into September/October of the Test window every four years - and it should be cut down in terms of time - there is no reason why teams can't play mid week games, its ridiculous and just drags the whole thing out to the point that it just gets boring.

So basically what I'm saying is - bollocks to the tradition of provincial rugby - its time to think outside the square and actually try to breath life into a sport that looks like its on its last legs.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Not sure

Well I've now had a couple of days to ponder the Budget so I thought I'd reflect on what was probably the most important budget politically since 2005.

This time of course Dr Cullen, albeit reluctantly, offered the tax cuts that politically at least should have probably come 12-24 months ago. While the amounts involved will never satisfy the media and those people who are dark about Clark and Co anyway, it is about $40 a pay extra for me - which I will naturally blow on something important like an album or DVD no doubt... er i mean save - which can't really be sneezed at.

But the old school element in me has also pondered what could have been - the total cost of this package was over $10 billion over four years. Now granted there was overwhelming political demand for the cuts and if they hadn't been delivered, Cullen may as well have handed over the cheque book to English straight away, but I think its important to reflect on what else $10 billion could have bought the country had we not all been sucked into the Nats campaign saying this was the way to higher wages and having more money in the pocket.

$10 billion could have delivered free primary healthcare (doctors visits) to all New Zealanders. Or it could have wiped student debt. It could have delivered free early childhood education, taken care of school fees and no doubt still made a pretty decent dent in our national skills shortage.

Higher wages will be achieved when we increase productivity, up our education and skill levels, move our focus to innovative weightless exports and improve our infrastructure - not by cutting taxes (you only have to do that again and again and again - while inevitably cutting services meaning household costs rise further). I guess if the Government hadn't waited 9 years to change the thresholds there would have been less demand and this year's spending could have been a little more intelligent and we could have avoided playing a short-term move.

Time will tell if it gets Labour back in the game and arguably John (Guy Smiley) Key did more damage to his party than the cuts with his dire performance on Campbell Live and Close Up. It would be nice if our wonderful intellectual media "Political Editors" could spend less time drinking with him at the Matterhorn and more time noticing his inability to deliver a decent speech or anything that looks like a policy.

But hey, I may as well roll with it and start planning how I'm to spend my extra $40 a payday.

Knowledge was their treasure

Yeah we laughed too.

I went and saw Indiana Jones and the Skull or whatever it is. It's a good watch but naturally falls short of Raiders of the Lost Ark and my personal favourite - Temple of Doom.

The action sequences are great as you would expect and Harrison Ford is actually pretty convincing despite his years, but the story relies on you being willing to kind of go along with it in parts and some of the dialogue (note the title) was just corny.

Cate Blanchett was back to her rubbish best and was like something out of a panto and there was a weird nod to Marlon Brando in The Wild One with the entry of Shia LeBeouf's character.

But hey for what it is, it's pretty cool and worth checking out. I'd give it a solid 3/5 - not as great as the earlier ones, but not as rubbish as it could have been - its kind of like the Indy Revenge of the Sith.

Friday, May 23, 2008

You abide too??

We were having a fairly ordinary discussion on the political polls this morning following yesterdays Budget and I said something like - Yeah but Labour still need to get 10 points from somewhere - to which one of my colleagues replied: You want 10 points? Oh I can get you 10 points. There are ways.

I then gave a knowing nod, laughed and said: I can get you 10 points, you don't wanna know about it, believe me. There are ways. I can get you 10 points by 3 o'clock this afternoon.

As you can tell I had found a brother seamus and fellow fan of the Big Lebowski and so we spent the rest of the day quoting almost whole scenes. Classic.

For those who don't remember the bit - here is the actual quote from when the Dude and Walter cause a scene in the diner.

Walter Sobchak: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.
The Dude: Yeah, but Walter...
Walter Sobchak: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish. These fucking amateurs...

Monday, May 19, 2008

Iron Man redux

I went and saw Iron Man last night and I have to say, if you're a comic/superhero fan boy like myself then chances are you will dig this.

The action sequences are predictably wicked and there are strong turns from Robert Downey Jr and Jeff 'The Dude' Bridges. Jon Favreau's presence throughout confused me a tad- he was playing an assistant at Downey's company - and I figured surely he hasn't hit the hard times accepting background roles, he must pop up as a bad guy? Then I realised - duh he's the director!

But anyway basically its about a billionaire weapons manufacturer who get kidnapped in Afghanistan, so he builds a kick ass suit and turns himself into a hero. As you do.

The only problem I felt was that it took a little too long telling the story of him building the suit - yeah we know what he's doing - I don't need to see every prototype!!

Still its a good watch and going by the extra bit at the end of the credits it looks like we're going to get a sequel.

Oh and hopefully if the pics come through I'll be able to blog my fishing exploits from the weekend, tomorrow.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

1990 revisited


Last week I was flicking through a college yearbook and it had a reference to a teacher going all 'anti-establishment' and showing early 90s uber teen-angst flick, Pump up the Volume, to his class. So I thought what better way to get over my hangover than to charge down to Aro Video and grab a copy.

The first time I saw it most of the lines were way over my head (given I was 11 at the time) but I can remember revisiting a year or so later and I loved it.

It stars Christian Slater (who else?) as a high school student who by day is a quiet bookish student but who runs an anarchistic pirate radio show by night using the pseudonym, Happy Harry Hard on. All goes well with a large cult following amongst the student body building until one of his listeners tops themselves and school staff try to shut it down.

Its funny in a way that so many of the issues that the film touches on are still relevant today - only nowadays Happy Harry would be running a blog or vlog. It's a good watch - plus it features a pretty sweet soundtrack, especially Harry's theme - Leonard Cohen's Everybody Knows.

I think I'm gonna have to break out Heathers next!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

How can we sell some more merchandise?

Well the trailer is out for Star Wars: The Clone Wars - check it out yo

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Too easy

You know I could start making sarky comments but when you've got a news day like today... it kind of speaks for itself.

First up is the age old lesson of living by the sword/dying by the sword... or in this case the lightsaber. To be fair to Lord Vader - they were asking for it - pesky rebel scum.

Second we have the fattest guy in the world who is planning to go walkabout... by walkabout he means be loaded by a forklift on to the back of the ute - but hey full credit to him he has lost 235kgs.

Thirdly (Stuff was on fire today) its none other than the friendly Hindu family from Mt Roskill who didnt realise painting a huge fuck off swastika on their roof would cause offence. Yeah I realise its a hindu symbol, and Hitler stole it and turned it and all that shit - but really? Is there nothing else you could use? And I'm not sure how you could miss World War II?

Fourth is poor little Fanta-pants himself, Mick Hucknall, getting all upset (i bet he went red in the face - they do that) about being called a Ginger - its as bad as racism says Hucknall. What amused me was his assertion that he's slept with "loads of women"... really? Did that actually happen Mick? If so, how many of them were gingas? The only women the article lists are Zeta-Jones and ex-Eastender, Martine McCutcheon - both brunettes, so is he in ginge-denial?

And finally, possibly the headline of the year from the BBC - Great tits cope well with warming. No more cold-fronts?

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Best and Worst of Auckland

Well almost by default, Auckland Museum has been voted the best building in Auckland and the godawful Newton Comfort Inn has taken out the more competitive category of worst building.

The full list is on the press release on the Best and Worst website.

Auckland has been dogged by what is frankly crap architecture but I would differ slightly on my top 5.

The Museum almost has to be in there - its instantly recognisable as being part of Auckland. In terms of public buildings there are some shockers - but the TelstraClear Pacific Events Centre is stunning - not only is it functional combining an indoor stadium and a theatre but it looks fantastic with its design based on a fale. Another old building that I dig for many of the same reasons as the Museum is Auckland Grammar's main building.

Given Auckland is the centre of business it would probably be remiss to not include an office tower - but given they either have daft domes (ANZ and Metropolis) or they have a toilet seat lifting up (Vero Centre) there isn't a lot to choose from - but I still think that symbol of 80s largesse - the Fay Richwhite building is probably one of the most striking, so ill include that.

Two other buildings I also really dig are Britomart (how cool is that?) and also as twee as it may sound - the Sky Tower. When you look back at Auckland from the North Shore, the Tower really completes the picture and actually makes Auckland look like a city (from a distance) its almost like the finishing touch, and for that reason I would include it.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Twangers and Tack


You would not believe how badly I want/need a Jenna Bush commemorative wedding mug - I already have the Charles and Diana plate and Charles and Camilla beer mug, so I think a Jenna Bush mug would just top it off.

John Fothergill had a good line about Bush at the comedy show I went to a week or so back - "I thought George Bush was something that got caught between Zippy's teeth" and of course the Rainbow reference creates a perfect opportunity to share the infamous video of that episode.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

One Man doing Three Movies in 60 minutes

How wicked does this look?? Its the One Man Star Wars show which hits Wellington this week as part of the comedy festival.

This guy rules - apparently he grew up only watching the holy trilogy so knows it off by heart. Kick ass. Its on all next week I think at Te Papa's soundings theatre.



Of course this is also a good time to share one of my favourite star wars vids - the James Earl Jones vader one

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Tuatara a-go-go


Well frankly im off my face, so please excuse my typos.

I've spent the day on a tour of Tuatara Brewery at Waikanae - it was wicked. It is a small operation and to be honest isn't much more than a glorified skyline garage, but god they make a good drop. They had mixed up the kegs so the porter and the pilsener were coming out the wrong taps - but hey all it meant was that it forced you to try beers from outside your comfort zone.

All the beers we tasted were great - the 'IPA' or Indian Pale Ale (wtf is this with the acronyms - it's not Telecom??), the pilsener or the porter - and I have to say I was into all of them - and drunk an unhealthy amount of all of them too!.

But what impressed me most, was that this was essentially a couple of dudes doing what they love - Dion the brewer (pictured on the right) was fantastic - he essentially gave away his accounting career to become a master-brewer because that's what he wanted to do - what else can you ask? He was great value and incredibly insightful (which means I was too drunk to know what he said, but was interesting none-the-less).

So next time you head down to the Malthouse - or anywhere else that serves Tuatara - check it out!

Haptip to SOBA - who organised the day

The Big Show

Well while this may appear to be small-fry to those you read about going to see Chris Rock at Madison Square Garden on the Facebook (can you sense my jealousy? lol) - it was still a pretty good night.

We went to the Big Show as part of the international comedy festival up in Auckland. A lot of the jokes were toilet humour and a tad misogynist - lol which I normally dig - but we were with two lesbian couples, and its fair to say some of the jokes crashed and burned on their ears lol - but still.

The host Neil Delamere was outstanding - ruthlessly taking the piss out of those who arrived late - there was one guy 'Marty' who arrived with his tall-leggy-blonde "friend" - Delamere helpfully informed the blonde that Marty didnt just want to be friends, and was hoping to do sooo much more after the show but also that she was out of his league. But once he asked Marty about his occupation - party organiser - and how the recent birthday party he had organised for himself involved "cruising around clubs on K'rd" -Delamere quiped - "so you're a well dressed guy who organises parties and cruised around bars on his birthday... hmm I think the blonde woman is safe afterall isn't she Marty!?!!"

He also had a great line about Paul McCartney and how when he was doing the whole two-fingered peace hand signal to the media - he was actually just reminding them that he has two legs...

Jon Fothergill from Newcastle was last up and provided a pretty good line for the delivery room... when she's screaming, calling you the devil and a cunt - look what you've done to me etc - you could remind her that she did say no when you suggested the no-no and that its all really her own doing. He then followed that up by covering the three words men and women want to hear - for women its "I love you" for guys its "go on then" or "just the tip".