Shake your money maker

Got some odd looks in the office yesterday. One of my colleagues told me he is learning to play the seminal Black Crowe's track - She Talks to Angels - on his new axe (apparently you tune it funny to get the sound on the strum). So what else were we do than crack into it there and then? Fair to say we didn't get far beyond the "She never mentions the word addiction..." opening.

But anyway this caused me to do what is quickly becoming an annual event - re-listening to Shake Your Money Maker. When that album was released in 1990, Melody Maker called the Black Crowe's the most 'rock n roll' rock n roll band in the world today. I don't think they ever scaled those heights again and were quickly swamped by the Seattle/grunge invasion by Nirvana, Soundgarden and Pearl Jam - but still, in their day they rocked. Below is video of their kick ass cover of Otis Reading's Hard to Handle.

Hey little thing let me light your candle
cause mama I'm sure hard to handle now, yes I am.

Perspective

The video below was filmed by Vanity Fair for their August 08 edition. VF editor Graydon Carter challenged Christopher Hitchens to submit to waterboarding - the torture tactic apparently used by the US military and CIA at Guatanamo to 'simulate' drowning. His reaction is telling. I really suggest you watch it.



Hat tip to the Spare Room who had a link to this.

Painful media moments

First off, I think we all agree that the situation at Tiaho Primary School, with its flooding playground and sewerage over flows, is awful and should be fixed up. But that's not what this is about, oh no, this is about the painful example of how not to front the media this has provided.

On Close Up the other night, the aptly named Paul Burke stepped up for the Ministry of Education, before totally losing it. He started off solid enough, but when it became clear he was reading a prepared speech (most of which was never going to wash), it all began to go awry. So much so, that he actually ended up sitting there like a deer in headlights not saying anything - you couldn't help but cringe as he totally blew out on national TV. Now of course, the host that evening was the detestable Mr Hair and lip pout, but still, he wasn't being that brutal - my initial reaction was - OMG! what is he doing? just say something - anything!

Well anything other than "mrrrgghh neh". Here's a little transcript of the final (absolute media gold) part of the interview.

HOSKING (Host): Is this the worst school in the country by the way?
BURKE (Min of Ed): I haven't visited every school, but it is unusual to take this long.
HOSKING: Have you visited this one?
BURKE: No I haven't.
HOSKING: Might have paid you to go up the road and have a wee look? Walk through some of the sewerage? Climb the ladder with some blu-tack? Maybe?
BURKE: (Stares at camera in silence for what seems like an eternity in TV time)
HOSKING: No?
BURKE: mrrrgghh neh
HOSKING: Ok thanks for your time. That was Paul Burke, National Property Manager at the Ministry of Education.

You can just imagine the director in the control room latching on to the scent of blood - saying something like "he's losing it - keep that camera on him! Stay on him! Stay on him!". LOL.

We all sat around watching it over and over late today - and we started coming up with ideas for what he should have said - one of my colleagues suggested screaming 'banana', my idea was to make like John Clarke in the Games and reach for the ear piece (even if you don't have one) and pretend you couldn't hear what he said - "sorry? what was that?"

You can watch the full Close Up clip here - but unless you're really interested, I suggest you just skip to the last couple of minutes (its 10 mins long), when it goes pear shaped.

Ok so yeah you do feel sorry for him - but shit there is nothing funnier than TV going bad!

This rubbish has to stop

Is anyone else getting sick of all the Dark Knight/Heath Ledger rubbish the media have been peddling? The suggestion that his death had something to do with any film role is ridiculous.

The other day we had John Campbell doing his doomsday-deep-voice thing talking about Ledger's 'dark' portrayal of the Joker - insinuating that he was 'troubled'.... and therefore probably suicidal!?!?! Then we had the laughable articles on Stuff about how dark and frightening the role was - as well as todays gem (republished from the Sydney Morning Herald) with this genius quote - Much has been made of [Ledger's] difficulty in coming to terms with darkness of The Joker's character.

This is cynical media bollocks at its best. He died of an accidental overdose. By definition that means he didn't set out to kill himself - IT WASN'T SUICIDE. I don't care how dark his final film role was - he died as a result of a tragic accident and it just makes me sick how our daft media are trying push the line that a fuckin super hero film somehow pushed him over the edge.

Into the Wild bollocks

WARNING CONTAINS SPOILERS - I just watched Into the Wild - the true story of Chris McCandless, who upon graduating from University gave away his savings and went on an adventure - living wild.

Basically he was pissed with his parents and was determined to show he wasn't as preoccupied with money and possessions etc etc as they were and that he wasn't having a bar of their dysfunctional relationship. Now while you can admire the idea and spirit behind his actions - I think he was fundamentally selfish and incredibly irresponsible.

Sure he was making a point against his parents - but really would it have been so bad to at least call his sister to ease their worry? For two and a half years their son was missing - they had no idea where he was - or if he was safe or even alive.

After two years wandering around America he headed up to Alaska to live in the harsh wilderness. Now he had no experience in hunting and was totally unprepared - he even turned down a map and compass FFS! Given his lack of hunting skill he was only able to catch small game like birds etc (he did kill a moose - but had no clue how to preserve the meat) and slowly but surely he brought himself closer to death through malnutrition.

After 5 or so months in the wilderness he realised he was fucked, and tried to get out but the river he crossed on the way in had risen - so he couldn't get out. The stupidest thing is that if he had taken the proper map - he would have known there was a hand operated tramway crossing 400m downstream!

The movie also suggests that the berries he ate were toxic - but apparently his autopsy showed no signs of poison - he just plain starved.

He could have walked out - but instead he died of starvation. Apparently his body weighed only 67 pounds - 30 kilos roughly.

Naturally he has become something of a hero to fellow wanderers and apparently since this film came out people have been making the pilgrimage to the abandoned bus that McCandless lived and died in at Denali National Park in Alaska.

For my mind there is probably something to the speculation that he had some sort of mental illness (bipolar? Schizophrenia?) because he basically created a situation that would inevitably lead to his death - which you could even argue was suicide. Or he was just an arrogant little upstart who ultimately paid the price for his irresponsible actions.

Either way I don't think he should be held up as some sort of hero - sure his sentiments may have been worthy, but the way he went about it was plain dumb.

Vader being a smart ass

This is officially my favourite you tube video this week!

Wii Fit Update 2

Well its been three weeks now so I thought I would provide an update on how the Wii Fit is going.

Today provided the perfect opportunity for an independent opinion, as our office personal trainer, Mish, came in for her regular 'weigh in'.

So here we go, after three whole weeks and 12 hours of playing - I have lost 4.5 kilos and 3 BMI points. Pretty good, pretty, pretty, pretty good. Mish is back in another 3 weeks - will update then.

Learning to spell

I thought I'd share a lesson in spelling from one of my favourite you tube vloggers - Frezned. He's teaching viewers how to spell 'ukulele'. Very funny.

Go Speed Racer!

I had been intrigued by something I saw about Speed Racer on the E! channel but after I read this review in the Dominion - I just had to see it.

So I went and saw it this afternoon - and my only regret was that I wasn't high at the time, cause I think that would pretty much blow your fuckin socks off.

This is arguably one of the best cartoon/comic book adaptions because it unashamedly doesn't try to be 'gritty', 'dark', or at all worthy - this is just kick ass action and entertainment. Its like one big sugar rush, and if you were a fan of Speed Racer back in the day - you will dig this.

The Dominion captured it perfectly -

After weeks of sitting through cartoon and comic-book adaptations that have strived - hilariously - to be realistic, or even meaningful, it's a relief to see a film that takes itself seriously for not one nanosecond, and yet is still more inventive, ambitious, and impressive than Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, or any other load of po-faced twaddle that Hollywood has foisted on the nippers lately.

... Speed Racer is a hermetically sealed, candy-coated wonderland of a film.
This is a migraine of a movie - raucous, delirious, hyperkinetic, terminally daft, and very often stone-cold brilliant.
Try to picture directors Terry Gilliam and Tim Burton fighting to the death inside a pack of M&M's.

When good u choobing goes bad

I was watching that episode of Seinfeld where George had done his answer phone message to the theme of the Greatest American Hero...



And so then I searched for the actual theme music... and from there it got out of hand (as you can see). I give you 80s and 90s theme songs!

Greatest American Hero


MacGyver, The A-Team, Miami Vice, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Magnum PI, Knight Rider, Love Boat, Hawaii 5-0, Bay Watch and last but not least CHiPs

Film Festival

The film festival programme is out and its looking pretty good. Of course the political nerds like myself will be off to see The Hollow Men movie (in fact I already have tickets to that one) but there are a lot of other gems.

This year I'm going to try and avoid the more 'worthy' films and I'm focussing on sheer entertainment!

So here's the rest of my list:

The Wave - story of a teacher who starts acting like a fascist dictator to better demonstrate how bad Hitler was (chaos ensues).
Let the Right One In - Scandanavian film about a 12 year old vampire - the quote did it for me - "Very smart, very sweet, very sick".
Somers Town - Shane Meadows' follow up to his acclaimed 'This is England'
Be Kind Rewind - looks like a cross between Clerks and Hercules Returns. Its about a video store where they remake all their old stolen/lost movies on home video.
The Savages - Philip Seymour Hoffman stars (say no more)
Bigger, Stronger, Faster* - looks kind of like Super Size Me - but with steroids!
Gonzo: The Life and Work of Hunter S. Thompson - title kind of captures it
Annimation Now - the short annimated film spectacular
Romero's Diary of the Dead - Zombie films rule
I Think We're Alone Now - film about stalkers of 80s pop icon Tiffany (can it possibly get better?)
The King of Kong - doco about a dude who kicks ass at Donkey Kong.

Rock n Roll!

How to pretend you're interested in the election!

Bloody euro-trash

As many of you are aware, one of the idiosyncrasies of my car is that it kind of loses acceleration at times - mid journey. You can have your foot to the floor and its not having a bar of it - slowly decelerating.

Now this is of course fixed by turning the car off - and then starting it again. I used to pull over to do this (arguably safely), but I worked out that if you have enough momentum built up, you can flick it into neutral, turn the key off, and then start it again, flick it back in drive and you're good as gold. Well unless its a cold morning, and then you're good as gold for about 500m - when in all likelihood, you'll have to repeat the exercise. And even then its been known to do it as many as four times in a row - but after that - you're good as gold.

This usually leads to a mixture of reactions from passengers. Either they've been in the car before and are blase about the whole thing, they find it funny, or they're reaching for the door handle - preparing to commando roll outta there.

But the other night, a colleague from Auckland came down and we were taking my car to a function. Predictably, after sitting all day the car did its thing not 200m down the road from her hotel. But instead of carrying on like previous passengers, she said - "Oh! Your car does that too?!? I used to have a Peugeot 306 - it did the same thing!"

Finally, someone who understood. So we had a great yarn talking about the pitfalls of buying European cars (unsurprisingly, she drives a Toyota now). What worried me though, was that she said spending the $2000 to fix it was a waste of time, as it made no difference. Her advice - drive it into the ground and sell it on to some other un-knowing schmuck!

Look, Listen and take heed

Kicking ass seemed so much better

I dont know what it is - but there is something about ass kicking 80s films that I dig. For sheer entertainment you cannot beat films Commando - hilarious for all the wrong reasons (editing, lame special effects, camp villains) and Arnie owns.

Films these days seem a little too hi-tech to pull off the kitsch elements of the great 80s films.

Naturally I greeted the ad on C4 tonight for their Sunday night feature - Bloodsport - with great excitement!

If you are unfamiliar with Bloodsport - it was the film that launched the career of Jean-Claude Van Damme, who played Frank Dux. The 'story' is about Dux taking part in an underground competition involving the World's greatest "warriors" in a battle to the death. Yus! (you will note the poster said it was based on a true story... right)

So yeah basically its a fantastic piece of martial arts tat. Can't wait!

Bloodsport - 8.30pm Sunday on C4.

Religulous the movie

Just got sent this great trailer for Religulous. Looks fantastic - like a more tongue in cheek version of Richard Dawkins' The Root of all Evil (which you should get out from Aro Video if you havent seen it).

Anyway enjoy

A case of the Monday's

Here's another for the "never again" file. Last night I had Nando's for dinner... while I'll spare you the details, it's fair to say I've been up since 2.30am doing my interpretation of this Sony TV ad.

So yeah I'm having a case of the Monday's



UPDATE: I just did a Wii Fit Body Test - I've lost 1.4kg in the last 24 hours! Woot! So you know - every cloud and all that.

Jasper!

Last night son of One Moment Caller arrived up in the Naki and his name is Jasper.

Jasper is apparently the Dutch/German version of Casper and the first one was one of the kings that gave Christ gifts at his birth - he gave gold (quietly showing up the other lot - I wonder what that Mary and Joseph did with the gold?).

So anyway, I thought I would mark the occasion by finding other Jasper's!

Like Jasper Engines and Transmissions!


Or Jasper National Park in Alberta, Canada - It has a glacier! Plus there's a town.


Then there is the University of Victoria's JasPer Project - an open-source initiative to provide a free software-based reference implementation of the codec specified in the JPEG-2000 Part-1 standard (i.e., ISO/IEC 15444-1). Of course it is. Doesn't really lend itself to a pic unfortunately.

Jasper, Texas looks like a gas...


... and Jasper, Indiana, claims to be one of the 25 best small towns in the US! Meanwhile, Jasper, Alabama's Special Olympic swim team is called the Aquanauts! The mayor has a great name too - Sonny Posey. You will also find US Jasper's in Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Minnesota, Missouri, New York, Ohio, Oregon and Tennessee.

Meanwhile, Sunday brunch at Jasper's Restaurants "in the spirit of fun!" looks like something out of the Naki too!


Jasper (on the right below) was also the name of one of Cruella de Vil's henchmen in 101 Dalmatians.


It also turns out that "Jasperware" is a type of pottery, and you can find this fine example at the V&A in London.


There have also been quite a few other famous people named Jasper.

But my favourite one has to be Jasper Vinall - the first recorded Cricket fatality in 1624. He was fielding and was about to catch the ball, but the batsmen tried to hit the ball a second time (away from Vinall) but instead smacked his head in! Stranger still - it happened again in 1647!

So there you have it - at the very least he has quite a road trip of US towns ahead of him!

Wii Fit Update

Well I've now clocked up over 3 hours on the Wii Fit and its still kicking ass. I have achieved Champion (probably of the world) status on Football heading (top score of 454) and Ski Slalom (29 seconds on the downhill run). Oh yeah.

As you go along you open up more games, yoga poses and activities - which are basically new ways for you to look ridiculous. Snowboarding is clearly some sort of astrophysical science as I managed to cock up almost every go at it. It is kinda cool turning the board length ways though... look like a tool though.

I've unlocked the boxing aerobic game also, which is a hell of a lot of fun once you get going. The yoga is kicking ass - my Sun Salutation rules, as does my Warrior pose - the Tree pose is bollocks though!

While I'm the Wii though - this was a bit unfortunate - it really should note that the measurements it takes are for adults. But please - "she could have ended up with an eating disorder" - so she didnt? Get a grip, surely she could see that its measurement was a bit off? Lighten up and have some fun.

Bus driver Ray

Well normally the bus isnt a very pleasant experience, but it turns out that Infratil have at least one decent driver - Ray!

After witnessing a cyclist getting knocked off last week and the road rage debacle earlier in the year, I had a fairly dim view of the customer experience on our public transport. But that all changed tonight when Ray (he had a name tag!) pulled up to the stop tonight. Ray took kind old man to a new level - greeting all passengers with a "Good evening, welcome aboard" and crouching the bus for the ladies. The best bit had to be his public information announcement halfway through the journey - "Hello passengers, I just want to make sure you're all aware that there is a slight delay between the fore-door and rear door opening, but don't be concerned, I will open it at every stop. Thank you."

Clearly he was a tad crazy - but I much prefer pleasant/friendly crazy to insane threats of gun violence. Go Ray!

Some links

Some links from my lazy surfing today:

Why own a car - when you can borrow one? This was in the weekend papers - City Hop, you pay $75 registration for the year and then $13.50 per hour (including petrol) to borrow a car. Great idea and apparently its coming to Wellington soon - site here

At least I was able to keep together when Beckham was in Wellington. Lovestruck fan goes crazy - site here

The 50 best pun store names here. Unfortunately they missed the hair salon cracker in Levin - Hair Say - although Merchant of Tennis does rule huh?

Down Syndrome Dolls. Not a lot else to say really is there? site here

PC Gone Mad?? Darth Sussudio himself, Phil Collins, apparently retired from making his earth shattering music a month or so ago - who noticed? This followed his 2003 announcement when he came out as boring, ending years of speculation.

And to finish, Skunk Anansie's kick ass video from the excellent mid 90s sci-fi flick Strange Days. Directed by Point Break's Kathryn Bigelow, Strange Days was all about people in the future kinda getting high off virtual reality vids - check it out if you haven't seen it, but in the meantime have a watch of Skin's badass performance in their anti-church epic, Selling Jesus.

Pain

What was I thinking? I shocked a few people when I bought the Wii roughly a year ago and shocked myself when I completed.. sorry I think the correct lingo is 'clocked' Lego Star Wars. But it still something of a stretch for me to grasp why I bought Wii Fit

Ok im being a little melodramatic - its not that bad - in fact its pretty good fun, but I am feeling it in my legs especially.

You look like a prick doing the stuff - more so than Wii Sports, but you also feel like you're getting a work out. You stand on a pad thing which measures your BMI and weight etc (you're out of your mind if you think I'm going there) - and it monitors your balance during the exercises and games. Useful bit of humiliation though - once its done your BMI it changes your Mii character so it reflects your (ok my) tubby bitch frame - yeah I kinda know what the situation is already, I'm not sure I need a cartoon to reinforce it.

There are four types of exercises - strength training, Yoga, balance games (ski slalom etc) and aerobics. Most of the aerobic stuff seemed a bit rubbish - like jogging with the Wii-mote in your hand - but the Hoola Hoop was great fun (ranks highly on the makes you look like a tool scale). Ski Jump and Ski Slalom are great - you have to get your balance right and then either rise from a squat position to a full (balanced) extension on the jump or shift your weight from side to side to move through the slalom course.

So anyway I guess I'll give it a whirl and see how we get on - but so far it does seem to have stuck a good balance between fun/games and getting a work out of it.

Environmental heresy?

The very excellent Wired Magazine is likely to cause a storm with its incendiary article on approaches to climate change in the latest issue.

It talks about how if we are serious about addressing global warming, then only one thing really matters - cutting carbon emissions. Wired argues that if we are to do that then we are going to have to make some big calls, cut out the bullshit basically and address the ‘inconvenient truths’ and possibly swallow some dead rats.

“Just one problem. Winning the war on global warming requires slaughtering some of environmentalism's sacred cows. We can afford to ignore neither the carbon-free electricity supplied by nuclear energy nor the transformational potential of genetic engineering. We need to take advantage of the energy efficiencies offered by urban density. We must accept that the world's fastest-growing economies won't forgo a higher standard of living in the name of climate science — and that, on the way up, countries like India and China might actually help devise the solutions the planet so desperately needs.”

“The planet is already heating up, and the point of no return may be only decades away. So combating greenhouse gases must be our top priority, even if that means embracing the unthinkable.”

The article lists 10 ‘heresies’ that would deliver cuts in global carbon emissions and make a real impact on climate change as follows:

1. Live in cities – Urban living is kinder to the planet than the suburban lifestyle. (Totally agree!)
2. Air conditioning is ok - Live in warmer places - Air-conditioning actually emits less C02 than heating. (Difficult in NZ and hard to ask people to up and move out of the South Island – but a good idea)
3. Organics are not the answer -Surprise! Conventional agriculture can be easier on the planet. (Agree! Organics are bollocks)
4. Farm the forests - Treat forests like crops - old-growth forests can actually contribute to global warming.
5. China is the solution, not the problem - The People's Republic leads the way in alternative-energy hardware – China is actually the number 1 manufacturer of solar panels. (Very good point)
6. Carbon Trading Doesn’t Work - Carbon Credits were a great idea, but the benefits are illusory – Kyoto will reduce the impact of Climate Change by 6.5 days. (I think we kind of knew this was window-dressing)
7. Accept Genetic Engineering - Superefficient Frankencrops could put a real dent in Greenhouse Gas emissions. (Totally agree! Science shouldn’t be something we fear)
8. Embrace Nuclear Power - Face it. Nukes are the most Climate-friendly industrial-scale form of energy. (Agree this is a good idea for large countries – but a country the size of NZ could never afford to build one – better off with other renewable sources)
9. Used cars – Not hybrids - Don't buy that new Prius! Test-drive a used car instead. (Totally agree!)
10. Prepare for the worst - Climate Change is inevitable. Get used to it.

I guess that famous Kennedy quote - if the price of peace is Nuclear war, then we'll be left with the taste of ashes in our mouths - comes to mind. But the article is right - if we leave the response up to the hand-wringers and do-gooders then little impact will be achieved on the actual goal of cutting carbon emissions. I suppose we have to ask ourselves - what price we are prepared to pay as a society to fight global warming?

One from the old school

Pulp's Common People from their cracking mid-90s album A Different Class. I always think this sums the Tories up quite nicely - they might think they can relate to people - but fundamentally they'll never know what its like to fall on hard times. Mind you I think you could argue some other parties are just as guilty of losing touch with the common people. But oh well - at the very least its a chance to watch one of my other all time favourite videos (watch out for Sadie Frost) and a reminder of how cool Jarvis Cocker is. Remember when he interrupted Michael Jackson's 1996 wannabe messiah performance at the Brit Awards? How cool was that?

Are you sure you want to live like common people,
you want to see whatever common people see,
you want to sleep with common people,
you want to sleep with common people, like me."
But she didn't understand,
she just smiled and held my hand.

Rent a flat above a shop,
cut your hair and get a job.
Smoke some fags and play some pool,
pretend you never went to school.
But still you'll never get it right,
cos when you're laid in bed at night,
watching roaches climb the wall,
if you call your Dad he could stop it all.

You'll never live like common people,
you'll never do what common people do,
you'll never fail like common people,
you'll never watch your life slide out of view,
and dance and drink and screw,
because there's nothing else to do.

Strange Film Festival coming back

Good news people! The Incredibly Strange Film Festival is back and will be in Wellington from 18 July through to August 3.

I really hope they bring back the overnight film marathon too - a whole night of back-to-back crazy fucked up films - there is nothing better!

The full programme hasn't been announced yet - but this disturbing look at Tiffany stalkers is going to be in it apparently.

Check out the trailer below for I Think We're Alone Now

The Gods Must Be Crazy

In case you hadn't see this - an un-contacted Brazilian tribe was discovered the other day. Imagine that, they've never had contact with any outsiders - they must have shit themselves - some huge object flies over with flashing lights.

This Boston paper has really big images of them so you can have a good gawk (nobody says Gawk anymore do they? - note to self use gawk more - bring it back). I wonder what the significance is of the different pigments... kind of reminds me of that bit in King Kong at the start (well by start I mean an hour in when they actually get to the island).

I do hope we leave them to it and don't try to bring democracy or TV to them. Mind you as one hillarious commenter said - throw them an empty Coke bottle! Classic.

Summer Heights High

I recently got put on to Summer Heights High, its the new series by Chris Lilley, the dude that brought us the very excellent We Can Be Heroes. This time the show follows the lives of two students - Ja'mie from We Can be Heroes and a new character Jonah Takalua as well as a Drama Teacher, Mr Gregson.

Unfortunately I havent seen it on our screens yet - but the DVD is around or you could be naughty and download it.

In the meantime, below is one of my favourite scenes - Mr Gregson using his drama skills to liven up the evacuation drills. Enjoy.

Look in your heart

In hindsight 1990 was actually a great year for cinema, but more so because of the films that were largely overlooked by the great unwashed... or should I say washed?

That year, the Coen Brothers released one of the greatest Gangster films of all time, Miller's Crossing. After Blood Simple, this was their first major noir piece and its as good today as it ever was. Gabriel Byrne stars as Ted Reagan a former lieutenant in Albert Finney's Irish mob who is playing both the major crime families in a non-descript prohibition era northern US city, off against each other. Like all good film noir films there are twists and turns for Africa and like all Coen films - the script is outstanding. But its the acting that really does it for me - Byrne and Finney are great but the man himself, John Turturro, steals the show.

Below is Turturro's show stopping scene where he begs for his life - so dark yet comic at the same time. I just love the line "Look in your heart. I'm praying to you! Look in your heart". Have a watch - and don't worry there are enough twists following this one that it doesnt give the game away!

500 Shake baby Shake

Well the FIAT 500 Bambina has just been re-released and much like the original - I think it looks really cool. But it also reminded me of one of my all time favourite videos and not to mention happy song - 500 shake baby shake by british band, Lush, from the glorious mid 90s. You wont be able to resist its power to make you smile. Enjoy.

The Big Costello

Turning across the Tasman for a second I thought I would make some bold predictions of what i think is going to happen in the post-Howard era for the Liberal Party. Now while many of us have delighted in the fall of Howard and his cronies the manner in which the Party was crushed and gone from being a political powerhouse to something that resembles post-Tsunami Myanmar has had loads of people talking about how the Liberals will rebuild themselves.

Following the election, former Treasurer and Howard heir apparent, Peter Costello, seemed destined to take over the Libs and try to rebuild them - but of course he didn't, and instead 'honourably' stepped aside to let a new breed through. The ever irritating former leader and Howard Foreign Minister, Alexander Downer, similarly went to the backbench and appeared to be positioning himself for a future tilt at the South Australian Premiership (which he probably wouldn't win anyway against Kiwi expat and incumbent - Mike Rann).

Former Defence Minister, Brendan Nelson, beat out the more popular and electable former Environment Minister, Malcolm Turnbull for the leadership and has only really succeeded in making matters worse by taking the Party to new polling lows.

Till now I, like many people, have thought that its just a matter of time before Turnbull comes in like the cavalry and rebuilds the Party like David Cameron in the UK and John Key in New Zealand. But of late I've been pondering what really might be happening - and its all about Costello and Downer and how it will be them and not Turnbull that take over.

The party is hugely divided along factional lines and for every step forward, it has been pushed back two steps by internal fighting, mainly driven by the Costello-Kroeger faction from Victoria. Costello knew the party was going to be in a mess post election, and knew he would be pissing in the wind if he tried taking on Rudd while he was riding his post election honeymoon wave - which is why he didnt take the leadership. He also knew Turnbull wouldnt get the numbers. So the previously inoffensive but not particularly capable Nelson would become leader with Turnbull as shadow Treasurer and Downer and Costello would appear to be heading towards honourable exits from the political landscape on the backbenches.

But I think that Costello and Downer planned this whole situation. They have actively worked against Nelson behind the scenes and have blocked any attempt to kickstart the Party and I think they have used him as collateral damage and set him up to take the worst of the post-election carnage. Costello didnt want to inherit a mess and he knew it was only going to get worse in the interim. Not only are Costello and Downer waiting for Nelson to crash and burn, but they're also setting him up to take the fall.

In time they will then unleash a campaign to further kill off Nelson and do enough damage Turnbull to ruin his chances of taking the leadership in the near future, which will then see the Party becoming 'desperate' and pleading for Costello and Downer to return and lead them to promise land. Turnbull will be so wounded that while he will probably mount a leadership bid, Costello and Downer will crush him and Costello will become leader and Rasputin himself, Downer, will become shadow Treasurer.

So I guess we'll watch this space, but I don't think the situation is as simple as I first thought and I predict that Costello and Downer will lead the Liberals into the next election.

Oooo that's good

Onion satire at its best - a 20 vehicle horrific road crash serves as a sad reminder of the loss of Princess Diana

".. spilling blood across the Paris-roadway-coloured highway"

As the wreckage from today's tragic crash continues to smolder, one can't help but think of the accident that took the life of the People's Princess.

Does Cricket have the answer?

I never thought I'd say or think this, but I think that Cricket may just have the answer for Rugby.

Rugby has this huge talent drain going on with All Blacks being snapped up like New Zealand's dairy and vino exports meaning we are in danger of being left with the proverbial dregs. But the new IPL 20/20 competition may have provided a template for the way forward.

We shouldn't fight players being able to go and make stupid amounts of money - so why not create an annual window where players can go and let their hair down and play footy in competition which, lets face it, doesn't matter but provides entertainment.

This would provide the entertainment element that the TV companies want, bring in the dosh as people will want to watch it while also allowing the players to cash in (like Brendan McCullum etc) and take the shackles and pressure off of the Super 14/Test rugby.

Essentially I would split the year into three windows - November-January run the private 20/20 competition up in Europe (or any other cash-cow location!) then mid March to late June run the Super 14 in the South and Heineken Cup in the North and then the final window - July-October will provide time for Test rugby - with proper tours each year as well as the Bledisloe. The Tri-Nations should be moved to be a biannual tournament running around the World Cup.

The World Cup would fit into September/October of the Test window every four years - and it should be cut down in terms of time - there is no reason why teams can't play mid week games, its ridiculous and just drags the whole thing out to the point that it just gets boring.

So basically what I'm saying is - bollocks to the tradition of provincial rugby - its time to think outside the square and actually try to breath life into a sport that looks like its on its last legs.

Not sure

Well I've now had a couple of days to ponder the Budget so I thought I'd reflect on what was probably the most important budget politically since 2005.

This time of course Dr Cullen, albeit reluctantly, offered the tax cuts that politically at least should have probably come 12-24 months ago. While the amounts involved will never satisfy the media and those people who are dark about Clark and Co anyway, it is about $40 a pay extra for me - which I will naturally blow on something important like an album or DVD no doubt... er i mean save - which can't really be sneezed at.

But the old school element in me has also pondered what could have been - the total cost of this package was over $10 billion over four years. Now granted there was overwhelming political demand for the cuts and if they hadn't been delivered, Cullen may as well have handed over the cheque book to English straight away, but I think its important to reflect on what else $10 billion could have bought the country had we not all been sucked into the Nats campaign saying this was the way to higher wages and having more money in the pocket.

$10 billion could have delivered free primary healthcare (doctors visits) to all New Zealanders. Or it could have wiped student debt. It could have delivered free early childhood education, taken care of school fees and no doubt still made a pretty decent dent in our national skills shortage.

Higher wages will be achieved when we increase productivity, up our education and skill levels, move our focus to innovative weightless exports and improve our infrastructure - not by cutting taxes (you only have to do that again and again and again - while inevitably cutting services meaning household costs rise further). I guess if the Government hadn't waited 9 years to change the thresholds there would have been less demand and this year's spending could have been a little more intelligent and we could have avoided playing a short-term move.

Time will tell if it gets Labour back in the game and arguably John (Guy Smiley) Key did more damage to his party than the cuts with his dire performance on Campbell Live and Close Up. It would be nice if our wonderful intellectual media "Political Editors" could spend less time drinking with him at the Matterhorn and more time noticing his inability to deliver a decent speech or anything that looks like a policy.

But hey, I may as well roll with it and start planning how I'm to spend my extra $40 a payday.

Knowledge was their treasure

Yeah we laughed too.

I went and saw Indiana Jones and the Skull or whatever it is. It's a good watch but naturally falls short of Raiders of the Lost Ark and my personal favourite - Temple of Doom.

The action sequences are great as you would expect and Harrison Ford is actually pretty convincing despite his years, but the story relies on you being willing to kind of go along with it in parts and some of the dialogue (note the title) was just corny.

Cate Blanchett was back to her rubbish best and was like something out of a panto and there was a weird nod to Marlon Brando in The Wild One with the entry of Shia LeBeouf's character.

But hey for what it is, it's pretty cool and worth checking out. I'd give it a solid 3/5 - not as great as the earlier ones, but not as rubbish as it could have been - its kind of like the Indy Revenge of the Sith.

You abide too??

We were having a fairly ordinary discussion on the political polls this morning following yesterdays Budget and I said something like - Yeah but Labour still need to get 10 points from somewhere - to which one of my colleagues replied: You want 10 points? Oh I can get you 10 points. There are ways.

I then gave a knowing nod, laughed and said: I can get you 10 points, you don't wanna know about it, believe me. There are ways. I can get you 10 points by 3 o'clock this afternoon.

As you can tell I had found a brother seamus and fellow fan of the Big Lebowski and so we spent the rest of the day quoting almost whole scenes. Classic.

For those who don't remember the bit - here is the actual quote from when the Dude and Walter cause a scene in the diner.

Walter Sobchak: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.
The Dude: Yeah, but Walter...
Walter Sobchak: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish. These fucking amateurs...

Iron Man redux

I went and saw Iron Man last night and I have to say, if you're a comic/superhero fan boy like myself then chances are you will dig this.

The action sequences are predictably wicked and there are strong turns from Robert Downey Jr and Jeff 'The Dude' Bridges. Jon Favreau's presence throughout confused me a tad- he was playing an assistant at Downey's company - and I figured surely he hasn't hit the hard times accepting background roles, he must pop up as a bad guy? Then I realised - duh he's the director!

But anyway basically its about a billionaire weapons manufacturer who get kidnapped in Afghanistan, so he builds a kick ass suit and turns himself into a hero. As you do.

The only problem I felt was that it took a little too long telling the story of him building the suit - yeah we know what he's doing - I don't need to see every prototype!!

Still its a good watch and going by the extra bit at the end of the credits it looks like we're going to get a sequel.

Oh and hopefully if the pics come through I'll be able to blog my fishing exploits from the weekend, tomorrow.

1990 revisited

Last week I was flicking through a college yearbook and it had a reference to a teacher going all 'anti-establishment' and showing early 90s uber teen-angst flick, Pump up the Volume, to his class. So I thought what better way to get over my hangover than to charge down to Aro Video and grab a copy.

The first time I saw it most of the lines were way over my head (given I was 11 at the time) but I can remember revisiting a year or so later and I loved it.

It stars Christian Slater (who else?) as a high school student who by day is a quiet bookish student but who runs an anarchistic pirate radio show by night using the pseudonym, Happy Harry Hard on. All goes well with a large cult following amongst the student body building until one of his listeners tops themselves and school staff try to shut it down.

Its funny in a way that so many of the issues that the film touches on are still relevant today - only nowadays Happy Harry would be running a blog or vlog. It's a good watch - plus it features a pretty sweet soundtrack, especially Harry's theme - Leonard Cohen's Everybody Knows.

I think I'm gonna have to break out Heathers next!

How can we sell some more merchandise?

Well the trailer is out for Star Wars: The Clone Wars - check it out yo

Too easy

You know I could start making sarky comments but when you've got a news day like today... it kind of speaks for itself.

First up is the age old lesson of living by the sword/dying by the sword... or in this case the lightsaber. To be fair to Lord Vader - they were asking for it - pesky rebel scum.

Second we have the fattest guy in the world who is planning to go walkabout... by walkabout he means be loaded by a forklift on to the back of the ute - but hey full credit to him he has lost 235kgs.

Thirdly (Stuff was on fire today) its none other than the friendly Hindu family from Mt Roskill who didnt realise painting a huge fuck off swastika on their roof would cause offence. Yeah I realise its a hindu symbol, and Hitler stole it and turned it and all that shit - but really? Is there nothing else you could use? And I'm not sure how you could miss World War II?

Fourth is poor little Fanta-pants himself, Mick Hucknall, getting all upset (i bet he went red in the face - they do that) about being called a Ginger - its as bad as racism says Hucknall. What amused me was his assertion that he's slept with "loads of women"... really? Did that actually happen Mick? If so, how many of them were gingas? The only women the article lists are Zeta-Jones and ex-Eastender, Martine McCutcheon - both brunettes, so is he in ginge-denial?

And finally, possibly the headline of the year from the BBC - Great tits cope well with warming. No more cold-fronts?

Best and Worst of Auckland

Well almost by default, Auckland Museum has been voted the best building in Auckland and the godawful Newton Comfort Inn has taken out the more competitive category of worst building.

The full list is on the press release on the Best and Worst website.

Auckland has been dogged by what is frankly crap architecture but I would differ slightly on my top 5.

The Museum almost has to be in there - its instantly recognisable as being part of Auckland. In terms of public buildings there are some shockers - but the TelstraClear Pacific Events Centre is stunning - not only is it functional combining an indoor stadium and a theatre but it looks fantastic with its design based on a fale. Another old building that I dig for many of the same reasons as the Museum is Auckland Grammar's main building.

Given Auckland is the centre of business it would probably be remiss to not include an office tower - but given they either have daft domes (ANZ and Metropolis) or they have a toilet seat lifting up (Vero Centre) there isn't a lot to choose from - but I still think that symbol of 80s largesse - the Fay Richwhite building is probably one of the most striking, so ill include that.

Two other buildings I also really dig are Britomart (how cool is that?) and also as twee as it may sound - the Sky Tower. When you look back at Auckland from the North Shore, the Tower really completes the picture and actually makes Auckland look like a city (from a distance) its almost like the finishing touch, and for that reason I would include it.

Twangers and Tack

You would not believe how badly I want/need a Jenna Bush commemorative wedding mug - I already have the Charles and Diana plate and Charles and Camilla beer mug, so I think a Jenna Bush mug would just top it off.

John Fothergill had a good line about Bush at the comedy show I went to a week or so back - "I thought George Bush was something that got caught between Zippy's teeth" and of course the Rainbow reference creates a perfect opportunity to share the infamous video of that episode.

One Man doing Three Movies in 60 minutes

How wicked does this look?? Its the One Man Star Wars show which hits Wellington this week as part of the comedy festival.

This guy rules - apparently he grew up only watching the holy trilogy so knows it off by heart. Kick ass. Its on all next week I think at Te Papa's soundings theatre.



Of course this is also a good time to share one of my favourite star wars vids - the James Earl Jones vader one

Tuatara a-go-go

Well frankly im off my face, so please excuse my typos.

I've spent the day on a tour of Tuatara Brewery at Waikanae - it was wicked. It is a small operation and to be honest isn't much more than a glorified skyline garage, but god they make a good drop. They had mixed up the kegs so the porter and the pilsener were coming out the wrong taps - but hey all it meant was that it forced you to try beers from outside your comfort zone.

All the beers we tasted were great - the 'IPA' or Indian Pale Ale (wtf is this with the acronyms - it's not Telecom??), the pilsener or the porter - and I have to say I was into all of them - and drunk an unhealthy amount of all of them too!.

But what impressed me most, was that this was essentially a couple of dudes doing what they love - Dion the brewer (pictured on the right) was fantastic - he essentially gave away his accounting career to become a master-brewer because that's what he wanted to do - what else can you ask? He was great value and incredibly insightful (which means I was too drunk to know what he said, but was interesting none-the-less).

So next time you head down to the Malthouse - or anywhere else that serves Tuatara - check it out!

Haptip to SOBA - who organised the day

The Big Show

Well while this may appear to be small-fry to those you read about going to see Chris Rock at Madison Square Garden on the Facebook (can you sense my jealousy? lol) - it was still a pretty good night.

We went to the Big Show as part of the international comedy festival up in Auckland. A lot of the jokes were toilet humour and a tad misogynist - lol which I normally dig - but we were with two lesbian couples, and its fair to say some of the jokes crashed and burned on their ears lol - but still.

The host Neil Delamere was outstanding - ruthlessly taking the piss out of those who arrived late - there was one guy 'Marty' who arrived with his tall-leggy-blonde "friend" - Delamere helpfully informed the blonde that Marty didnt just want to be friends, and was hoping to do sooo much more after the show but also that she was out of his league. But once he asked Marty about his occupation - party organiser - and how the recent birthday party he had organised for himself involved "cruising around clubs on K'rd" -Delamere quiped - "so you're a well dressed guy who organises parties and cruised around bars on his birthday... hmm I think the blonde woman is safe afterall isn't she Marty!?!!"

He also had a great line about Paul McCartney and how when he was doing the whole two-fingered peace hand signal to the media - he was actually just reminding them that he has two legs...

Jon Fothergill from Newcastle was last up and provided a pretty good line for the delivery room... when she's screaming, calling you the devil and a cunt - look what you've done to me etc - you could remind her that she did say no when you suggested the no-no and that its all really her own doing. He then followed that up by covering the three words men and women want to hear - for women its "I love you" for guys its "go on then" or "just the tip".

Kids these days

I saw a vid by these cats from Kerikeri a week or so back, when it was featured on You Tube and I've since been following their vlogs etc. They are basically a bunch of teenagers mucking about with a camera and iDVD and the main guy clearly has a knack for editing and direction. I was so impressed by their latest effort that I thought I would share it - the preparation and care that's gone into cutting this is pretty good.

It's 8 minutes long - and has obvious nods to the Blair Witch Project, but check it out - its worth a look and is a decent reminder that not all young people are tagging and stirring shit.



I particularly loved the "I just wanna eat, I'm so hungry!" line at the most inappropriate moment lol- genius!

Nosey

If you're anything like me, you will have been dying to be nosey and have a look inside the Shipping Container House down Ohiro Rd on the way to Owhiro Bay from Brooklyn.

Well now you don't have to get yourself arrested for breaking an entering - they have posted pics here

It actually looks way cooler than I even expected. For those of you not familiar with it - its basically three shipping containers, stacked to form a house - simple and cool!

Damn hippies

I got an invite in my letterbox tonight for an organic soup evening that one of my neighbours is organising. They're gonna have someone talk about their Community Supported Agriculture scheme in the Wairarapa... man.

Lol I know, I know - I shouldnt be so cynical, but FFS an organic soup evening?

Cashback!

Well after being robbed a couple of weeks back - we hit the big time at the Shepherd's Arms Quiz tonight, not only did we place, but we also won the bonus round jack pot - which is three extra questions at the end - if no one gets them all right, another $10 is added to the pot.

So for second place we won a $50 bar tab, for getting 10/10 on the TV/Cinema round we got another $10 tab, and for the jackpot - $220!! That's right baby a $280 bar tab for 2 hours work!

So what were the three bonus questions you ask?

1. In the last 10 years, who has won the most Hong Kong Sevens Rugby titles?
2. What human anatomical part features on the flag of the Isle of Man?
3. By what name is Terry Bollea better known?

If you are like the rest of those fools there tonight and said Fiji for the first one - you're wrong chump - the answers are England, Legs and (of course) Hulk Hogan. Yeah Baby.

How did I not think of that sooner?

After talking about what a ridiculous idea personalised plates were the other night, I think I may have thought of one that I might just get.

KAL EL was taken so it would have to be K4L EL or KAL 3L.



Now many of you will not get the reference... but those of you who do will be quickly realising what a closet nerd I really am, as of course Kal El was Superman's Kryptonian name (duh). But seriously - how cool would that be??? Ahh you know it!

Some people call it a Sling Blade

Well after watching the Big Lebowski again the other day, I thought I'd revisit some of my other favourite filims, starting with Billy Bob Thornton's powerhouse - Sling Blade.

I first watched Sling Blade in 2002 - six years after its release, following incredibly strong recommendations. Thornton not only stars in the inconic role of Karl Childers, but he also wrote and directed it, earning him the 1997 Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar and an acting nomination also.

The story begins with the scene below of Childers, now a grown man, about to be released from a psychiatric hospital where he has been since the age of 12 for the murder of his mother and her lover, telling his story to a college newspaper reporter. He later returns to his hometown and gets a job fixing lawnmowers at local garage. Karl befriends a young boy, Frank (Lucas Black in his best role) and is soon invited by Frank's mother, Linda, to move into the family's garage. As a strong connection builds between Karl and Frank and his mother, confrontation occurs with Linda's abusive and violent boyfriend Doyle (Country musician Dwight Yoakam). Ultimately it builds to a stunning climax that is hard not to be moved by.

Check out the video below - you get a pretty good idea of the intensity of Thornton's performance

Communication Breakdown

Just watched a Wolfmother track on Alt, and it reminded me of how much they can sound like Led Zep. So what better way to demonstrate this than to post a vid of Wolfmother covering Communication Breakdown - crank it!

New! Instant Messenger! It's the latest!

I really have nothing to add today other than that Facebook has possibly taken the cake now it has added a messenger chat whatsit. WTF? Don't we already have these?

I just don't get it, so I thought i'd share this video which Emma sent to me (on facebook FFS!) a month or so ago

Yacht Rock

I got put on to this by a rock n' roller mate (who just happens to be playing with Phoenix Foundation this weekend!)

very funny stuff -

Scoop Election Site

Just found this on Spare Room - Scoop has set up a dedicated Election 08 site.

Looks simple and good. All going well it should be a good source of analysis which is sadly lacking both in our lame mainstream media and blog echo-chambers.

Check it out

Blackbird Singing Abides

Recently I picked up a copy of "I'm a Lebowski, You're a Lebowski" which is a book by fans of my favourite film, The Big Lebowski.

I always knew the film had a weird cult following, especially amongst University students, but I had no idea that there are annual Star Trek-esque conventions. The next LebowskiFest is being held in July in Louisville, Kentucky (obviously they got sick of California?), I think I should aim to get to one of these one day.

On the LebowskiFest website they sell some badass stuff too - quote T shirts and bumper stickers - all the best ones are there: "At least I'm Housebroken", "I can get you a toe", "This aggression will not stand, man" "It don't matter to the Jesus" etc etc.

If you aren't familiar with the film - its basically about the laziest man in Los Angeles (The Dude) and how he gets caught up in a case of mistaken identity, which leads to his rug (which really tied the room together) being pissed on, abduction, bowling, cars getting stolen, pederast latino creeps, toes getting cut off, an insane vietnam veteran, and Donny. It remains one of the Oscar winning (Fargo and No Country for Old Men) Coen Brothers best works, so I suggest you get hold of a copy, pour yourself a caucasian*, light yourself a J and sit back and check it out.

*Blackbird Singing's guide to making a Caucasian or White Russian.

You will need Kahlua, Vodka and Milk - basically pour in three equal parts of each ingredient and stir - i prefer a tad more Kahlua, so I add a little more of that than the Vodka.

Square One

Well I went and checked out the Suzuki Swift today, and I have to say I was definitely underwhelmed. It didn't seem to have any of the nifty interior touches of the Jazz, and just seemed to be lacking something.

So I guess the 206 might be hanging around a little bit longer!

And it's about time too!

You know some scientists are confronting the great battles of our time - finding cures for awful diseases etc... but not all of them.

Apparently some Austrian scientist has come up with a laser that can make a female fly act like a male fly. Brilliant.

I've been wondering when someone was going to do that. This has to be up there with the hairless kiwifruit and the seedless watermelon.

Worst trailer ever gets done

I recently went to see the excellent No Country for Old Men again and in the trailers was one for upcoming comic book remake - Iron Man. Now in general I am a fan of comic book related films, I think I'm one of the few people who thought Daredevil was wicked. But this just looks like rubbish - so much so, that the friend I was with (not naming any names... James) was literally belly-laughing out loud - causing the people in front of us to do that "sure it looks crap, but I think you're being a bit harsh" turn around and look.

But anyway - it turns out that they're actually going to make a feature length movie of this rubbish! Very funny video below.


Hat tip to the Onion

That's helpful

Well after struggling with the unique electrics of my Peugeot 206 for some time, we hit rock bottom this morning, when it just decided not to work.... at all.

The calendar and clock has reverted to french and 1999. Brilliant. Oh and did I mention that it didn't work.

So anyway at work today I said I'm going to get a new car and I got some really helpful suggestions, so helpful that I thought I would share...

First off - the car with the worst name ever - the Nissan Cedric



Hmmm maybe not - how about this - granny mobile, the Honda Jazz, yes I know they're good but it still looks like a granny-mobile.



But why stop there - how about an '80s BMW Convertible - "those are wicked"



This has to be the ultimate/most ridiculous idea. No prizes for guessing who came up with it. Its the International Trucks, MXT. Grrr - the US military have just given the contract Hummer had to International.



But no its likely to be a Suzuki Swift I think (kind of the polar opposite of the MXT!) - they look wicked. Mind you even when I said that, the useful ideas didn't stop - apparently I should get some fat black 17" rims and paint it mat-black - "how sick would that look??"

You don't see that every day on Aro St No.9

Well the bus company Go Wellington (Infratil hiding behind a friendly local name) really out did themselves today.

First of all neither the 8.10am (my regular) or the 8.30am Aro St bus turned up - meaning I had to walk to work in the rain... good start.

But on the way home tonight they really provided some entertainment. Halfway along Victoria St the bus changes lanes, and in the process today the driver cut off a motorcyclist, who honked his horn at the bus. Well the driver wasn't having a bar of that. When the motorcyclist pulled along side at the turn into Webb St, the bus driver opened the front door and gave him a spray. "Fuck you I indicated way back up the road. Fuck you. Fuck you, you fuckin cunt. Fuck you. I'll shoot ya. I'll blow your fucking head off, you fuckin cunt. Fuck you." The motorcyclist blowing kisses probably didn't help. Still an 8 on the fuck count is pretty decent.

Fair to say the bus clientele was either giggling nervously (clearly worrying whether they would reach their stop alive) or had their mouth wide open in shock. I was kind of somewhere between the two (also thinking god I can't wait to blog this!).

One woman's reaction was funny - she was giggling happily until he pulled out the C word - then it was pure shock. I think from now on I'm going to take huge offense whenever a woman uses the word 'dick' or 'cock'.

So uh yeah, Go Wellington!

Snippets

Well I was watching trash tv and surfing the intertube webpages and I thought id share.

First snippet - funny horse racing commentary


And second - its Snoop Dogg's Fatherhood with David Beckham teaching Snoop and the kids to play the football

Outsourcing childcare

An idea for some of those expectant and current parents amongst us

My ideas

Well I spent the weekend at Labour Congress - and given there was no new policy announced - I thought I'd throw my big ideas out there...

Up skilling
In short our manufacturing sector is buggered - we cannot and should not aim to compete with low wage economies on this basis. We need to become a high skill - high wage economy. This will be achieved by increasing productivity through education and innovation. There is no reason why we cannot produce 'weightless' exports in the form of IT, legal and accounting services. To do this, I think we need to seriously look at encouraging people into the degree courses that will enable us to have a large workforce with the right skill-set to be able to offer these services. Currently the government pays around 70 per cent of students course fees - as a start, why not pay the whole lot on IT and economic/accounting degrees?

Health
Primary Healthcare should absolutely continue to be the number 1 priority. I am a firm believer that if primary care is affordable, then people are more likely to go to the doctor - and get better sooner and not let illnesses get out of hand. Subsidies in this area should continue to rise - I'd like to see $20 doctors visits personally. But there is also unquestionably a need to address tertiary care elective surgeries. Dare I say it, I dig United's new policy for over 65s - it is a guarantee that you will have your surgery done within six months - or your treatment will be done by a private provider. Eventually this should become universal. As Tony Blair once said - the Labour value is getting people treated quickly and funded by the state - this achieves that.

Transport
Well I think at some point we are going to have to bite the bullet and build a highspeed rail network that will get our asses out of the planes. In the shorter term we need more public transport - if its safe, on time, reliable and cheap - people will use it and get the hell out of their cars. Transmission Gully is a rock solid waste of money - all it will do is encourage more cars into the central city - and we don't have enough carparks as it is - a better option would be to improve the rail service to the Kapiti coast and northern suburbs - it shouldn't take a fuckin hour to go to Pram!

Pumping on your Stereo

Supergrass are back with a new album - Diamond Hoo Ha, a reference to the two-piece act Gaz and Danny were (The Diamond Hoo Ha Men) while Bassist Mickey Quinn was recovering from his sleepwalking incident (fell out a window).

Anyway, in their day Supergrass were fantastic - their first three albums were all great and then I kinda lost touch with them. Their gig during 2000 Vic Orientation was outstanding - they also did an acoustic set outside what was then Tower Music in Cuba Mall - it was great. I can remember visiting a mates hostel weeks after the show, hearing someone singing the Ah-Ya-Ya bit from Mary off their self titled album, in the hostel atrium.

But anyway below is video of the Diamond Hoo Ha Men covering Beat It - its great when the crowd realises what the riff is that Gaz is playing at the beginning.

Sweet baby Jesus and the orphans!

Well after recently going on about how funny Peter Kay is, I bought a copy of series 1 and 2 of his first tv series - Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights off t'nternet.

The show is about the happenings at the Phoenix Club in Bolton - which is kind of like the Levin Cosmopolitan or "Cossie" Club... in fact its exactly like the Cossie Club.

Below is video from when they try to hold a Stars in your Eyes evening at the club - kind of captures the Club perfectly. Watch out for the Slim Shady - please stand up bit - hilarious.



My favourite quote from the series has to be this - Brian the wheelchair bound club owner inspiring the team by saying what sort of things the club could offer:
Garlic bread! That's right - Garlic Bread. It's the future - I've tasted it!

Who comes up with this crap?

The Victorian State Govt is apparently going to invest A$220 million to create a theme park outside Melbourne.

A. Does it really need it? Isn't the city already a pretty good attraction in itself?

and B. Why ruin the already fantastic Werribee Open Range Zoo by turning it into Dreamworld 2.0?

I think this could largely destroy what is a great attraction. If you get the chance, you should check it out before the bulldozers move in and while you're out there - visit the Shadowfax winery. I had one of the best glasses of red I've ever had there. The Lord of the Rings reference to the king of horses in the name, is a nod to the state equestrian centre next door.

Cashback

Well this week Borders had 40% off all CDs (if you get their emails), so I decided to pick up a few albums that id been thinking about getting for a while.

It was actually harder than you would think though, as Borders has a limited range and the way they stock their merchandise makes browsing super difficult.

But anyway I picked up the soundtrack to Control (the movie about Joy Division) which has some killer tracks by the er... Killers, Velvet Goldmine, Buzzcocks and of course it has a healthy dose of Joy Division and New Order. I also picked up Kate Bush's Whole Story best of - I've been meaning to listen to her for sometime, I had a colleague who constantly thrashed Kate Bush and Tori Amos, so I've found I already know most of this album!

But the standout was the Kaiser Chiefs last album Yours Truly, Angry Mob - Im absolutely loving it.

There are some awesome tracks - The Angry Mob and Ruby are great and ive included the Ruby video below. I did try to find the track, Highroyds, as the opening of it reminded me of the opening theme song of the Goodies.

The other album I looked at buying was Amy Winehouse's - but its now a double disc special edition whatsit - so didn't qualify for the sale. One to look out for is Wolfmother - I had a listen to their album and its pretty good, prettay prettay prettay good - and not at all the soft-rammstein I was expecting.

Anyway I'm off to the best barber in Wellington now - Groom on Tinakori Rd. Only problem is that I didnt watch the footy last night - so I'm gonna be behind the eight ball when he starts talking!

Here is the Kaiser Chiefs performing Ruby - (yes I was doing a Jools Holland thing there)

We was robbed

Well we put in a a hugely dominant performance at our regular Shepherds Arms Pub Quiz tonight - winning by a commanding 7 points, which included three rounds where we got 10/10...

Well almost three. The first round (pick which company the logo belongs to) we were given 9/10 - after we only put 'Candida', instead of 'Candida Stationery' (for the pictured symbol - obviously the wording wasn't on it!). Apparently we are splitting hairs.

But it got much worse - they allowed us to win, but we couldn't collect the $75 bar tab for winning as we had seven people at our table instead of six. Argh nevermind, we would boycott it in protest but it is a good quiz and a great pub so we'll forgive them!

Mish won't be happy

I had my first session with Mish, our office personal trainer - she basically comes around once every couple of weeks to guilt you off the curry and pies. Anyway apparently I drink too much coffee (that's the least of my worries, flower).

So Mish won't be too chipper to find out that the new Chew's Lane precinct has opened opposite work, with what looks like the highest ratio of coffee houses per square metre in New Zealand.

Chew's Lane looks like one of those great new developments they have down in Chch and I think it will bring that area alive.

There's one cafe that looks quite cool, called Gotham. To the Barista, Robin!