Twangers and Tack

You would not believe how badly I want/need a Jenna Bush commemorative wedding mug - I already have the Charles and Diana plate and Charles and Camilla beer mug, so I think a Jenna Bush mug would just top it off.

John Fothergill had a good line about Bush at the comedy show I went to a week or so back - "I thought George Bush was something that got caught between Zippy's teeth" and of course the Rainbow reference creates a perfect opportunity to share the infamous video of that episode.

One Man doing Three Movies in 60 minutes

How wicked does this look?? Its the One Man Star Wars show which hits Wellington this week as part of the comedy festival.

This guy rules - apparently he grew up only watching the holy trilogy so knows it off by heart. Kick ass. Its on all next week I think at Te Papa's soundings theatre.



Of course this is also a good time to share one of my favourite star wars vids - the James Earl Jones vader one

Tuatara a-go-go

Well frankly im off my face, so please excuse my typos.

I've spent the day on a tour of Tuatara Brewery at Waikanae - it was wicked. It is a small operation and to be honest isn't much more than a glorified skyline garage, but god they make a good drop. They had mixed up the kegs so the porter and the pilsener were coming out the wrong taps - but hey all it meant was that it forced you to try beers from outside your comfort zone.

All the beers we tasted were great - the 'IPA' or Indian Pale Ale (wtf is this with the acronyms - it's not Telecom??), the pilsener or the porter - and I have to say I was into all of them - and drunk an unhealthy amount of all of them too!.

But what impressed me most, was that this was essentially a couple of dudes doing what they love - Dion the brewer (pictured on the right) was fantastic - he essentially gave away his accounting career to become a master-brewer because that's what he wanted to do - what else can you ask? He was great value and incredibly insightful (which means I was too drunk to know what he said, but was interesting none-the-less).

So next time you head down to the Malthouse - or anywhere else that serves Tuatara - check it out!

Haptip to SOBA - who organised the day

The Big Show

Well while this may appear to be small-fry to those you read about going to see Chris Rock at Madison Square Garden on the Facebook (can you sense my jealousy? lol) - it was still a pretty good night.

We went to the Big Show as part of the international comedy festival up in Auckland. A lot of the jokes were toilet humour and a tad misogynist - lol which I normally dig - but we were with two lesbian couples, and its fair to say some of the jokes crashed and burned on their ears lol - but still.

The host Neil Delamere was outstanding - ruthlessly taking the piss out of those who arrived late - there was one guy 'Marty' who arrived with his tall-leggy-blonde "friend" - Delamere helpfully informed the blonde that Marty didnt just want to be friends, and was hoping to do sooo much more after the show but also that she was out of his league. But once he asked Marty about his occupation - party organiser - and how the recent birthday party he had organised for himself involved "cruising around clubs on K'rd" -Delamere quiped - "so you're a well dressed guy who organises parties and cruised around bars on his birthday... hmm I think the blonde woman is safe afterall isn't she Marty!?!!"

He also had a great line about Paul McCartney and how when he was doing the whole two-fingered peace hand signal to the media - he was actually just reminding them that he has two legs...

Jon Fothergill from Newcastle was last up and provided a pretty good line for the delivery room... when she's screaming, calling you the devil and a cunt - look what you've done to me etc - you could remind her that she did say no when you suggested the no-no and that its all really her own doing. He then followed that up by covering the three words men and women want to hear - for women its "I love you" for guys its "go on then" or "just the tip".

Kids these days

I saw a vid by these cats from Kerikeri a week or so back, when it was featured on You Tube and I've since been following their vlogs etc. They are basically a bunch of teenagers mucking about with a camera and iDVD and the main guy clearly has a knack for editing and direction. I was so impressed by their latest effort that I thought I would share it - the preparation and care that's gone into cutting this is pretty good.

It's 8 minutes long - and has obvious nods to the Blair Witch Project, but check it out - its worth a look and is a decent reminder that not all young people are tagging and stirring shit.



I particularly loved the "I just wanna eat, I'm so hungry!" line at the most inappropriate moment lol- genius!

Nosey

If you're anything like me, you will have been dying to be nosey and have a look inside the Shipping Container House down Ohiro Rd on the way to Owhiro Bay from Brooklyn.

Well now you don't have to get yourself arrested for breaking an entering - they have posted pics here

It actually looks way cooler than I even expected. For those of you not familiar with it - its basically three shipping containers, stacked to form a house - simple and cool!

Damn hippies

I got an invite in my letterbox tonight for an organic soup evening that one of my neighbours is organising. They're gonna have someone talk about their Community Supported Agriculture scheme in the Wairarapa... man.

Lol I know, I know - I shouldnt be so cynical, but FFS an organic soup evening?

Cashback!

Well after being robbed a couple of weeks back - we hit the big time at the Shepherd's Arms Quiz tonight, not only did we place, but we also won the bonus round jack pot - which is three extra questions at the end - if no one gets them all right, another $10 is added to the pot.

So for second place we won a $50 bar tab, for getting 10/10 on the TV/Cinema round we got another $10 tab, and for the jackpot - $220!! That's right baby a $280 bar tab for 2 hours work!

So what were the three bonus questions you ask?

1. In the last 10 years, who has won the most Hong Kong Sevens Rugby titles?
2. What human anatomical part features on the flag of the Isle of Man?
3. By what name is Terry Bollea better known?

If you are like the rest of those fools there tonight and said Fiji for the first one - you're wrong chump - the answers are England, Legs and (of course) Hulk Hogan. Yeah Baby.

How did I not think of that sooner?

After talking about what a ridiculous idea personalised plates were the other night, I think I may have thought of one that I might just get.

KAL EL was taken so it would have to be K4L EL or KAL 3L.



Now many of you will not get the reference... but those of you who do will be quickly realising what a closet nerd I really am, as of course Kal El was Superman's Kryptonian name (duh). But seriously - how cool would that be??? Ahh you know it!

Some people call it a Sling Blade

Well after watching the Big Lebowski again the other day, I thought I'd revisit some of my other favourite filims, starting with Billy Bob Thornton's powerhouse - Sling Blade.

I first watched Sling Blade in 2002 - six years after its release, following incredibly strong recommendations. Thornton not only stars in the inconic role of Karl Childers, but he also wrote and directed it, earning him the 1997 Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar and an acting nomination also.

The story begins with the scene below of Childers, now a grown man, about to be released from a psychiatric hospital where he has been since the age of 12 for the murder of his mother and her lover, telling his story to a college newspaper reporter. He later returns to his hometown and gets a job fixing lawnmowers at local garage. Karl befriends a young boy, Frank (Lucas Black in his best role) and is soon invited by Frank's mother, Linda, to move into the family's garage. As a strong connection builds between Karl and Frank and his mother, confrontation occurs with Linda's abusive and violent boyfriend Doyle (Country musician Dwight Yoakam). Ultimately it builds to a stunning climax that is hard not to be moved by.

Check out the video below - you get a pretty good idea of the intensity of Thornton's performance

Communication Breakdown

Just watched a Wolfmother track on Alt, and it reminded me of how much they can sound like Led Zep. So what better way to demonstrate this than to post a vid of Wolfmother covering Communication Breakdown - crank it!

New! Instant Messenger! It's the latest!

I really have nothing to add today other than that Facebook has possibly taken the cake now it has added a messenger chat whatsit. WTF? Don't we already have these?

I just don't get it, so I thought i'd share this video which Emma sent to me (on facebook FFS!) a month or so ago

Yacht Rock

I got put on to this by a rock n' roller mate (who just happens to be playing with Phoenix Foundation this weekend!)

very funny stuff -

Scoop Election Site

Just found this on Spare Room - Scoop has set up a dedicated Election 08 site.

Looks simple and good. All going well it should be a good source of analysis which is sadly lacking both in our lame mainstream media and blog echo-chambers.

Check it out

Blackbird Singing Abides

Recently I picked up a copy of "I'm a Lebowski, You're a Lebowski" which is a book by fans of my favourite film, The Big Lebowski.

I always knew the film had a weird cult following, especially amongst University students, but I had no idea that there are annual Star Trek-esque conventions. The next LebowskiFest is being held in July in Louisville, Kentucky (obviously they got sick of California?), I think I should aim to get to one of these one day.

On the LebowskiFest website they sell some badass stuff too - quote T shirts and bumper stickers - all the best ones are there: "At least I'm Housebroken", "I can get you a toe", "This aggression will not stand, man" "It don't matter to the Jesus" etc etc.

If you aren't familiar with the film - its basically about the laziest man in Los Angeles (The Dude) and how he gets caught up in a case of mistaken identity, which leads to his rug (which really tied the room together) being pissed on, abduction, bowling, cars getting stolen, pederast latino creeps, toes getting cut off, an insane vietnam veteran, and Donny. It remains one of the Oscar winning (Fargo and No Country for Old Men) Coen Brothers best works, so I suggest you get hold of a copy, pour yourself a caucasian*, light yourself a J and sit back and check it out.

*Blackbird Singing's guide to making a Caucasian or White Russian.

You will need Kahlua, Vodka and Milk - basically pour in three equal parts of each ingredient and stir - i prefer a tad more Kahlua, so I add a little more of that than the Vodka.

Square One

Well I went and checked out the Suzuki Swift today, and I have to say I was definitely underwhelmed. It didn't seem to have any of the nifty interior touches of the Jazz, and just seemed to be lacking something.

So I guess the 206 might be hanging around a little bit longer!

And it's about time too!

You know some scientists are confronting the great battles of our time - finding cures for awful diseases etc... but not all of them.

Apparently some Austrian scientist has come up with a laser that can make a female fly act like a male fly. Brilliant.

I've been wondering when someone was going to do that. This has to be up there with the hairless kiwifruit and the seedless watermelon.

Worst trailer ever gets done

I recently went to see the excellent No Country for Old Men again and in the trailers was one for upcoming comic book remake - Iron Man. Now in general I am a fan of comic book related films, I think I'm one of the few people who thought Daredevil was wicked. But this just looks like rubbish - so much so, that the friend I was with (not naming any names... James) was literally belly-laughing out loud - causing the people in front of us to do that "sure it looks crap, but I think you're being a bit harsh" turn around and look.

But anyway - it turns out that they're actually going to make a feature length movie of this rubbish! Very funny video below.


Hat tip to the Onion

That's helpful

Well after struggling with the unique electrics of my Peugeot 206 for some time, we hit rock bottom this morning, when it just decided not to work.... at all.

The calendar and clock has reverted to french and 1999. Brilliant. Oh and did I mention that it didn't work.

So anyway at work today I said I'm going to get a new car and I got some really helpful suggestions, so helpful that I thought I would share...

First off - the car with the worst name ever - the Nissan Cedric



Hmmm maybe not - how about this - granny mobile, the Honda Jazz, yes I know they're good but it still looks like a granny-mobile.



But why stop there - how about an '80s BMW Convertible - "those are wicked"



This has to be the ultimate/most ridiculous idea. No prizes for guessing who came up with it. Its the International Trucks, MXT. Grrr - the US military have just given the contract Hummer had to International.



But no its likely to be a Suzuki Swift I think (kind of the polar opposite of the MXT!) - they look wicked. Mind you even when I said that, the useful ideas didn't stop - apparently I should get some fat black 17" rims and paint it mat-black - "how sick would that look??"

You don't see that every day on Aro St No.9

Well the bus company Go Wellington (Infratil hiding behind a friendly local name) really out did themselves today.

First of all neither the 8.10am (my regular) or the 8.30am Aro St bus turned up - meaning I had to walk to work in the rain... good start.

But on the way home tonight they really provided some entertainment. Halfway along Victoria St the bus changes lanes, and in the process today the driver cut off a motorcyclist, who honked his horn at the bus. Well the driver wasn't having a bar of that. When the motorcyclist pulled along side at the turn into Webb St, the bus driver opened the front door and gave him a spray. "Fuck you I indicated way back up the road. Fuck you. Fuck you, you fuckin cunt. Fuck you. I'll shoot ya. I'll blow your fucking head off, you fuckin cunt. Fuck you." The motorcyclist blowing kisses probably didn't help. Still an 8 on the fuck count is pretty decent.

Fair to say the bus clientele was either giggling nervously (clearly worrying whether they would reach their stop alive) or had their mouth wide open in shock. I was kind of somewhere between the two (also thinking god I can't wait to blog this!).

One woman's reaction was funny - she was giggling happily until he pulled out the C word - then it was pure shock. I think from now on I'm going to take huge offense whenever a woman uses the word 'dick' or 'cock'.

So uh yeah, Go Wellington!

Snippets

Well I was watching trash tv and surfing the intertube webpages and I thought id share.

First snippet - funny horse racing commentary


And second - its Snoop Dogg's Fatherhood with David Beckham teaching Snoop and the kids to play the football

Outsourcing childcare

An idea for some of those expectant and current parents amongst us

My ideas

Well I spent the weekend at Labour Congress - and given there was no new policy announced - I thought I'd throw my big ideas out there...

Up skilling
In short our manufacturing sector is buggered - we cannot and should not aim to compete with low wage economies on this basis. We need to become a high skill - high wage economy. This will be achieved by increasing productivity through education and innovation. There is no reason why we cannot produce 'weightless' exports in the form of IT, legal and accounting services. To do this, I think we need to seriously look at encouraging people into the degree courses that will enable us to have a large workforce with the right skill-set to be able to offer these services. Currently the government pays around 70 per cent of students course fees - as a start, why not pay the whole lot on IT and economic/accounting degrees?

Health
Primary Healthcare should absolutely continue to be the number 1 priority. I am a firm believer that if primary care is affordable, then people are more likely to go to the doctor - and get better sooner and not let illnesses get out of hand. Subsidies in this area should continue to rise - I'd like to see $20 doctors visits personally. But there is also unquestionably a need to address tertiary care elective surgeries. Dare I say it, I dig United's new policy for over 65s - it is a guarantee that you will have your surgery done within six months - or your treatment will be done by a private provider. Eventually this should become universal. As Tony Blair once said - the Labour value is getting people treated quickly and funded by the state - this achieves that.

Transport
Well I think at some point we are going to have to bite the bullet and build a highspeed rail network that will get our asses out of the planes. In the shorter term we need more public transport - if its safe, on time, reliable and cheap - people will use it and get the hell out of their cars. Transmission Gully is a rock solid waste of money - all it will do is encourage more cars into the central city - and we don't have enough carparks as it is - a better option would be to improve the rail service to the Kapiti coast and northern suburbs - it shouldn't take a fuckin hour to go to Pram!

Pumping on your Stereo

Supergrass are back with a new album - Diamond Hoo Ha, a reference to the two-piece act Gaz and Danny were (The Diamond Hoo Ha Men) while Bassist Mickey Quinn was recovering from his sleepwalking incident (fell out a window).

Anyway, in their day Supergrass were fantastic - their first three albums were all great and then I kinda lost touch with them. Their gig during 2000 Vic Orientation was outstanding - they also did an acoustic set outside what was then Tower Music in Cuba Mall - it was great. I can remember visiting a mates hostel weeks after the show, hearing someone singing the Ah-Ya-Ya bit from Mary off their self titled album, in the hostel atrium.

But anyway below is video of the Diamond Hoo Ha Men covering Beat It - its great when the crowd realises what the riff is that Gaz is playing at the beginning.

Sweet baby Jesus and the orphans!

Well after recently going on about how funny Peter Kay is, I bought a copy of series 1 and 2 of his first tv series - Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights off t'nternet.

The show is about the happenings at the Phoenix Club in Bolton - which is kind of like the Levin Cosmopolitan or "Cossie" Club... in fact its exactly like the Cossie Club.

Below is video from when they try to hold a Stars in your Eyes evening at the club - kind of captures the Club perfectly. Watch out for the Slim Shady - please stand up bit - hilarious.



My favourite quote from the series has to be this - Brian the wheelchair bound club owner inspiring the team by saying what sort of things the club could offer:
Garlic bread! That's right - Garlic Bread. It's the future - I've tasted it!

Who comes up with this crap?

The Victorian State Govt is apparently going to invest A$220 million to create a theme park outside Melbourne.

A. Does it really need it? Isn't the city already a pretty good attraction in itself?

and B. Why ruin the already fantastic Werribee Open Range Zoo by turning it into Dreamworld 2.0?

I think this could largely destroy what is a great attraction. If you get the chance, you should check it out before the bulldozers move in and while you're out there - visit the Shadowfax winery. I had one of the best glasses of red I've ever had there. The Lord of the Rings reference to the king of horses in the name, is a nod to the state equestrian centre next door.

Cashback

Well this week Borders had 40% off all CDs (if you get their emails), so I decided to pick up a few albums that id been thinking about getting for a while.

It was actually harder than you would think though, as Borders has a limited range and the way they stock their merchandise makes browsing super difficult.

But anyway I picked up the soundtrack to Control (the movie about Joy Division) which has some killer tracks by the er... Killers, Velvet Goldmine, Buzzcocks and of course it has a healthy dose of Joy Division and New Order. I also picked up Kate Bush's Whole Story best of - I've been meaning to listen to her for sometime, I had a colleague who constantly thrashed Kate Bush and Tori Amos, so I've found I already know most of this album!

But the standout was the Kaiser Chiefs last album Yours Truly, Angry Mob - Im absolutely loving it.

There are some awesome tracks - The Angry Mob and Ruby are great and ive included the Ruby video below. I did try to find the track, Highroyds, as the opening of it reminded me of the opening theme song of the Goodies.

The other album I looked at buying was Amy Winehouse's - but its now a double disc special edition whatsit - so didn't qualify for the sale. One to look out for is Wolfmother - I had a listen to their album and its pretty good, prettay prettay prettay good - and not at all the soft-rammstein I was expecting.

Anyway I'm off to the best barber in Wellington now - Groom on Tinakori Rd. Only problem is that I didnt watch the footy last night - so I'm gonna be behind the eight ball when he starts talking!

Here is the Kaiser Chiefs performing Ruby - (yes I was doing a Jools Holland thing there)

We was robbed

Well we put in a a hugely dominant performance at our regular Shepherds Arms Pub Quiz tonight - winning by a commanding 7 points, which included three rounds where we got 10/10...

Well almost three. The first round (pick which company the logo belongs to) we were given 9/10 - after we only put 'Candida', instead of 'Candida Stationery' (for the pictured symbol - obviously the wording wasn't on it!). Apparently we are splitting hairs.

But it got much worse - they allowed us to win, but we couldn't collect the $75 bar tab for winning as we had seven people at our table instead of six. Argh nevermind, we would boycott it in protest but it is a good quiz and a great pub so we'll forgive them!

Mish won't be happy

I had my first session with Mish, our office personal trainer - she basically comes around once every couple of weeks to guilt you off the curry and pies. Anyway apparently I drink too much coffee (that's the least of my worries, flower).

So Mish won't be too chipper to find out that the new Chew's Lane precinct has opened opposite work, with what looks like the highest ratio of coffee houses per square metre in New Zealand.

Chew's Lane looks like one of those great new developments they have down in Chch and I think it will bring that area alive.

There's one cafe that looks quite cool, called Gotham. To the Barista, Robin!

Rambo rocks

Just got back from Rambo in the Deluxe lounge at Sky City. First of all they have down-classed what was the Gold Class lounge to a "deluxe lounge" basically, you don't get free coke and popcorn and you can't put your feet up.

But anyway, if you like Commando (yes one of the all time greats - "let off some steam Bennett") or for that matter the original Rambo films, you'll love this.

It's absolutely, fantastic, utter tat.

I would try to give you an idea of the story, but really? Do you need me to say? He goes in to save some god botherers, blows shit up - and fuckin owns the whole Burmese militia in the process. Shitang.

Expanding Askewniverse

Straight from the set of Kevin Smith’s brand spanking new film - Zack and Miri Make a Porno - comes a decidedly NSFW cautionary tale about just what it takes to get ahead in Hollywood… Their own version of the Sarah Silver/Jimmy Kimmel and Damon/Affleck thing.

Zack and Miri is due for release in October and will star current 'it' comedian - Seth Rogen (40 year old virgin, Superbad, Knocked Up etc), Elizabeth Banks, and View Askew regulars, Jason Mewes (Jay) and Jeff Anderson (Randal from Clerks). Can't wait!

Fk it lets go to Rambo

Well last night I went along with great anticipation to Todd Haynes' Bob Dylan biopic - I'm Not There and was frankly a tad disappointed.

This film was always going to walk a bit of a tight-rope, with six different actors interpreting different parts of his life and with it employing quite avant garde elements.

There were some amazing bits, Cate Blanchett was outstanding and largely stole the show, as was Christian Bale in his smaller but just as impressive part. The young black kid who played the young Dylan was fantastic also.

Also look out for Julianne Moore and Sonic Youth's Kim Gordon, hamming it up as 1960s folk singers

But I felt the Heath Ledger part was a little over done - Haynes seemed to be saying the same things about the breakdown of Dylan's relationship over and over - even though you got it the first time, which meant at times it dragged with the script feeling laboured. The weakest part (and probably the most open to criticism) in my opinion was the Richard Gere finale. It was like some Fellini circus or circa 1996 Smashing Pumpkins music video and just seemed a little over indulgent - if not barring on pretentious.

But anyway its a good watch all the same - just avoid uncomfortable 1970s issue seats at the back of the Paramount Cinema if you watch it - as it is on the long side.

In other news some tickets I gave away to Sky City's Gold Lounge as a prize have come full circle - but the only problem is that their current line up is a little, well, rubbish - so as we said yesterday - Fuck it lets go to Rambo! (I wonder if there will be giraffes and people with white face paint wandering about ala the Gere sequence?... hmmm maybe not).

Helvetica

The annual international cinema showcase is on again at the Paramount. This is the smaller and (imho) often better precursor to the larger International Film Festival in June.

Today I checked out Helvetica, which was a movie all about the typeface, modernism and well design in general.

Of course its the simplicity of helvetica that makes it so great and is the reason why it is almost invisible today. So invisible in fact that I hadn't even noticed that the Wilco hoody I was wearing (and that I bought at their kick ass gig!) also used the font! As one of the interviewees said - its almost like noticing and having an opinion on off-white paint.

Its definitely worth a watch if you're interested in design... or fonts.

Anyway tonight is the Bob Dylan film - I'm Not There - can't wait!

Wailing like its 1998

I've just got back from one of the best gigs I think I've been to - Wilco at the Opera House.

Jeff Tweedy was naturally impressive on the mic, but the musicianship of the whole band is what really caught me. The lead guitarist, Nels Cline, was just incredible - I haven't seen someone wail and own their guitar like that since Jonny Greenwood in 1998. Below is video from another Wilco gig of Cline wailing during Impossible Germany - sound isn't great but you get the idea eh.



Impossible Germany was wicked as was I am Trying to Break Your Heart, Jesus Etc, Walken, You Are My Face and Side with the Seeds, but one of the highlights had to be Tweedy's interaction with the crowd.

He asked whether or not it was a NZ custom to wear black-heavy metal t-shirts on Easter Monday (in reference to the Ozzy/Kiss/Alice Cooper/Poison etc stadium show) and later one of the keyboardists/guitarists and Tweedy both did impressions of Ozzy - shuffling around the stage. Also both keyboardists and the drummer stood up - glam rock style with their arms raised before Heavy Metal Drummer.

It was a great show with some incredible performances. If you get the chance to see them live - I fully recommend it.

Tulibu dibu douchoo

This video has cracked me up over the last couple of days. Its from Bulgarian Idol - a woman pretty much trying to sing Mariah Carey's Without You phonetically. I've watched it about 10 ten times- and I dont know what it is - but it makes me laugh... lots.



Hat tip to diana again

Party like its 1996

The best thing about purchasing a new ipod (no I didnt go touch - I went for capacity - 80gb for $360 - bargain) and catching the bus is that you get to re-re-rediscover old albums.

I re-stumbled across Sleeper today. They never really made it to NZ, but were big in the UK and I discovered them after buying their first album - Smart on a whim after reading about their new album at the time - The It Girl - in Melody Maker and loved it. So after refinding I thought id share one of my all time favourite music videos - Nice Guy Eddie from The It Girl. When I get around to building that extension - I think im gonna have a room filled with lights.

So get ready to party like its 1996

An oldie but a goodie

I've always thought someone should have done an N is for National, N is for Nits campaign based on this gem from Harry Enfield - remember people their policies may look ok, but once you look closer at their head - L is for Labour, L is for Lice.

What better way to kick off the election year than to run a fear campaign? Remember N is for Nits

Pretty disappointing

Well the Environment Court has upheld the complaints of the anti-waterfront development crowd and revoked permission for the 5 star Hilton Hotel that was proposed for the outer T at Queens Wharf.

I was all for this as Wellington is crying out for a decent Hotel at this level (Duxton is a shambles - only leaving the Intercontinental which is only ok). With our burgeoning film industry you need these sorts of things! But also because it would have made better use of the space than the current grey inward-looking Shed which is used for Indoor Sports. Indoor Sports are an important part of the inner city - but it doesn't need to be on a prime waterfront spot!

Now the anti crowd will say it should be a park or such like, but I disagree. Parks are also important, but we have Frank Kitts, the Plaza spaces around Kumutoto, Odlins Plaza and Waitangi Park and it should be remembered that these places are 90 per cent empty, 90 per cent of the time.

The Hilton project could have been used to introduce new cafes and bars - like the ever popular Shed 5 etc, provided stunning conference spaces and actually brought more people to the area.

But oh well.

Things that make you go hmmm

... or dry reach. Here are a couple of items that will probably churn your stomach - now don't be soft and make sure you watch that whole video too.

A golden airport experience, and

She's wrong this isn't quite as bad as 2 girls 1 cup

mmm tasty...

More Ukes

Just found this while pissing about on the interweb (its the information super highway).

Very funny - its the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain again, but I won't say what they're playing - when the base line kicks in you should get it.

Grand design dream home

This home in Bristol featured on Grand Designs last night - and it is almost my dream home - open double height living spaces with the sleeping areas upstairs at the rear of what is essentially a big box - or sugarcube as they called it!



I dont think the image quite does it justice - so check out the pics here (You should note the kitchen taps - they cost 1000 pounds!) or the video below

Questioning concierge

Having sorted out tickets today to one of the shows in the International Comedy Festival, I thought it might be worthwhile to check out some of the acts - and I discovered this gem. Its Neil Delamere of Ireland talking about robbing a bank and staying at the Hilton in Amsterdam - winding up concierge - "I'm sorry sir but we are unable to say who let the dogs out"

It's pretty funny stuff and making me think the ticket purchases might just work out! Check it out.

And I thought the buses were a hassle

Just got an email from an old colleague - you should be able to roughly guess where she's working. I'm yet to discover a 'red zone' in Wellington!

Definately not woollen jacket weather, especially with a couple of kilos in a huge kevlar heavy vest on (not made for breasts!).

Work is obscenely busy, but on the good side I get to go to all the meetings. And went to a really interesting meeting the other day (was the heir apparent to one of the biggest political and religious organisations) and we had the most amazing lunch - my plate was like a pyramid, I was stuffed to the brim and they kept on heaping on more and more food! And I don't think I've ever had better tasting roasted lamb before in my life! Anyway had to go and come back from the meeting through the red zone so it was pretty full-on loaded weapons huddled in a tin can army tank-vehicle packed with army boys, swerving around traffic and the entire time I was praying nothing was going to happen becuase I was so full I didn't know how I was going to run anywhere!

Leak confirms McCain will win

Diebold who make the voting machines for the US elections have accidentally leaked the result of the Presidential elections, although it has been noticed that an assassination hasn't been ruled out.


Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early

More from the Onion's War for the White House here

Going where Cliff fears to tread

Latvia's Symphonic Orchestra of Liepaja owning - possibly the coolest orchestra ever

Feel free to air guitar along...



Hat tip

Don't make em like this anymore

Its cool how when you listen to old music, or watch old films like Wizard of Oz and you see all the subtle references. Yeah this isnt really one of those - Big Cliff with Wired for Sound. Its basically about the stereo - "I like small speakers, I like tall speakers" brilliant.

Power from the needle to the plastic
AM - FM I feel so ecstatic now
It's music I've found
And I'm Wired for Sound.

My favourite bit is the emotional spoken word at the end - But most of all I like LOUD speakers. That's what the Clash were talking about with Rock the Casbah!

Take it away C

Symonds Streaker Smackdown

Aussie batsman, Andrew Symonds, becoming an absolute legend - dropping his shoulder into a streaker - sending the prick flying!

Crucial moments

Tomorrow is probably the defining moment of Hillary Clinton's career - if she survives I think there is a good chance she will win the nomination - if not, well that's probably that.

But I was thinking that maybe we're fast approaching a similar point here. For some time I've maintained that if Labour can't consistently stay above 35 per cent support, its in trouble. Basically if Labour polls below 35 - it has no show, and if there are a run of such polls, it may be an indication that voters have hung up on the government - ala 1990 and 1999. If that's the case, and voters have switched off, then we could be looking at a repeat of 2002. That time voters switched off National, who blew out to only 21 per cent support, and looked for a partner for Labour that wasn't the Greens.

I'm not sure we're at such a crucial point quite yet, I think Labour still has cards to play, but we aren't far from that point and I only hope people are still listening when those cards are finally played.

More from Mr Kay

This cracked me up

There she was just a walkin down the street
Singing doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy do

Snapping her fingers and shuffling her feet
Singing doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy do

She looked Good, she looked fine

HOW? How did she look good? She were shuffling along clicking her fingers. How does that look good? How does that get you going? Load of bollocks.

Just visualise someone shuffling and clicking - he's right you'd look a right tard.

Peter Kay

I picked up a copy of one of Peter Kay's DVDs on my way through the airport tonight.

This clip is from the show - its about crime, from about halfway through he does a pisstake of a crime watch reenactment - sooo funny! Frank the shop assistant is just classic.



I loved this too - its my joke of the week
Q. How do you kill a clown?
A. Go for the jugular - it's qucikest

Matrix/Shaolin Table Tennis

This was on Nightline tonight - very funny

Poo nirvana

I didn't mention just how average our work toilets were when I talked about the 'other' bin. They clearly haven't had a lot done to them (other than the installation of redundant bins obviously) since the building was opened sometime in the mid or late 70s.

But what was worse was that I was under the impression that there wasn't a gents on our floor - and walked down two flights of stairs every time I wanted a waz. Turns out I was misled by our team PA.

Not only do we have a gents on our floor, but it's comparatively like some sort of nirvana. It's clean, the doors on the stalls actually stay shut, there's a shower, two ply paper, no 'other' bin and to top it off - Dove soap.

Although I'm fairly sure that I was once told that Dove test on animals - but hey I'm sure the track record of who ever the industrial chemical provider is on the floors below isn't that crash hot!

Finally

Well as you have probably noticed that, for various reasons, I haven't blogged for sometime. But I could not let the Oscars go by without comment, especially the Oscars that finally recognised my favourtite film makers.

This is probably the first time that the Oscars have actually reflected my opinions! No Country for Old Men is an incredible film - it's something like a mix between three Coen masterpieces - Millers Crossing, Blood Simple and Barton Fink.

It absolutely deserved recognition - as did Joel and Ethan Coen both for their direction and their typically stunning script.

The top gongs went as follows (bold ones are where Ive seen it and where its my pick)
Best Picture - No Country for Old Men
Best Director(s) - Joel and Ethan Coen (No Country for Old Men)
Best Actor - Daniel Day Lewis (There Will be Blood)
Best Actress - Marion Cotillard (La Vie En Rose)
Best Original Screenplay - Diablo Cody (Juno)
Best Adapted Screenplay - Joel and Ethan Coen (No Country for Old Men)
Best Supporting Actress - Tilda Swinton (Michael Clayton)
Best Supporting Actor - Javier Bardem (No Country for Old Men)

What a great year for film huh?

Ok so maybe not Huckabee

Ah you have to love the futility of making projections don't you?

With Mitt Romney pulling out over night, McCain pretty much becomes the Republican nominee. However, an article I read in The New Republic suggests Huckabee might have an opponent to be McCain's running mate. Governor Charlie Crist of Florida got in behind McCain three days out from the Florida primary and turned an 11 point deficit into a 7 point lead.

McCain of course built on the momentum gained from Florida and is now effectively the candidate. So I guess we shouldn't be surprised if this favour is returned!

And who could argue with that anyway? Florida is a key state, and Crist was able to deliver it for McCain once, so chances are his name on the ticket wouldn't hurt.

Super Duper Waitangi Day

With some great timing this year - I managed to watch most of the coverage of Super Duper Tuesday as it just so happened to fall on Waitangi Day!

So what can we take out of it? Well initially it looked like a better night for Clinton than Obama (if only slightly) but actually in the cold light of the day after the night before it was actually slightly advantage-Obama. Not only did he win more States (14 out of the 22 on offer) he actually also picked up slightly more delegates (most Dem contests are proportional. Essentially first candidate to get to 2025 delegates will be the Democratic candidate (theyre both around the 800 mark.

On top of this, it has been revealed today that Hillary has had to stump up US5 million of her own money to keep her campaign going. Now you might think so what? But when you consider that in the last 24 hours Obama has raised US3million through his internet campaigning - its easy to see who really has momentum. In the last quarter Obama raised over 30 million, compared to 13 million by the Clinton campaign. Of course most of Obama's donations have come in the form of small amounts - millions of times over, where as Clinton has gathered from far fewer sources (including lobby groups) and with their caps on donations already maxed out - there is a question over where the money will come from now.

On the Republican side, McCain, while not quite home and hosed, he is now unquestionably in pole-position and Romney would pretty well need to win everything from here. I expect McCain will wrap it up in the next couple of weeks and I expect fellow nominee Mike Huckabee (who nicely spoiled Romney's party by winning a handful of states and splitting the conservative vote n other areas to give the win to McCain) to end up as McCain's running mate.

A McCain administration would be great news for New Zealand - he has a soft spot for us, and has been here a number of times. He's probably our best chance of an FTA with the US.

So one is neck and neck and the other is almost in the bag. For my mind, if McCain does pull it off, then Obama would be a better choice. It will be a real contrast of old Washington vs the new vibrant blood of Obama.

So my pick - McCain/Huckabee vs Obama/Bill Richardson (New Mexico Governor of Latino descent - Obama is weak amongst Latino voters).

Juno not Juneau

I just got back from watching new indie sleeper hit - Juno. It's the story of Juno MacGuff (Ellen Page - Hard Candy) a teenage girl that's up the proverbial duff to her boyfriend, Paulie Bleeker (Michael Cera - Arrested Development/Superbad). As the title character Juno, Page is just hilarious - her delivery is fantastic and you can't help but love her offbeat style.

Affleck's squeeze - Jennifer Garner also puts in a decent turn with the always funny Jason Bateman as the childless couple that Juno is going to adopt her child out to.

At first I did wonder if the film had something of an agenda with its overly negative portrayal of an abortion clinic, but then it became obvious that like director, Jason Reitman's, previous effort, the excellent Thank You for Smoking, the film maker is taking the piss out of both sides.

The film is kind of like this year's Little Miss Sunshine or Sideways (although that was over-rated - if they were women it would have been dismissed as a chick flick) and I wouldnt be surprised if the writer, Diablo Cody, picked up the best original screenplay Oscar. Also there is a very good interview with Cody in the latest Aussie Empire - this is her first effort writing, and she wrote it while working as a stripper.

Also after growing up listening to early 90s grunge, I had a particular soft spot for the music. Belle and Sebastian popperd up a few times too. There's a great line where after listening to Sonic Youth on the recommendation of Bateman's character, Juno says "Oh I listened to more Sonic Youth. It sucks, it's just noise!" lol touche indeed. Although out of a crowd of 50 or so middle aged people and a few teenagers, I was the only one who laughed at the reference.

Anyway, if you got into Little Miss Sunshine, I think you will love this.

Question

Is new Black Cap, Jessie Ryder actually Craig McMillan 2.0?

And if he is - lets hope he's less hit and miss than the first one was.

UPDATE: Given the result last night and the lame way Ryder got himself out, I think the answer is YES HE IS.

What's 'other'?

Many of you will be aware of my odd fascination with the conveniences at work (like monitoring people going in and out at one to find out who the repeat skid offender was).

But there is something completely new I've discovered at my new work. There is a large rubbish bin adjacent to the paper towel dispenser that has "general" on it, but its the small wastepaper size bin right next to it that confused me. It was labelled "other rubbish".

WTF? Other?

I think im going to turn it into a compost bin...

At least it was eventful

I've had an odd couple of days. Firstly i started a new job, which is all very exciting - and my plan is to bus to work, but I thought for my first day I would drive so I get there all relaxed etc...

I knew my car was low on gas, but since the light had only just come on - I would be alright. However, I hadn't taken the angle of the road into account - and basically what petrol there was, was all down one end and in short the car wouldn't start. So I abandoned that plan and decided to take the bus... which I promptly missed. So anyway I decided it was best to head down to Willis St as there would be more options rather than waiting 25 minutes for the next one. The next two buses that passed the Willis St stop didn't stop as they were full... as you can imagine panic was beginning to creep in with irrational visions of not getting there on my first day till 10am. But no it worked out ok in the end. Although this morning I did have to embarrassingly call the State Roadside Rescue guys (for the first time) to come and give me 5 litres of petrol.

Last night though I went to the sevens first day. On my last day at my old job, after giving the boss stick about the Australian cricket team, I was given a Wallaby jersey. So since I was going with an Aussie (and three loud poms) I decided to wear the jersey, late in the evening I also kicked off a rendition of Waltzing Matilda - it was very odd, but we did manage to rark up some of the crowd.

One of the funniest moments was when one of the loud and predictably drunk (and married) brits tried to cop a feel of a woman in front - so lame and embarrassing - we were all almost in tears with laughter. The other high point was when we made one of the welsh players, who was doing an after match interview just in front of us (we were in the third row), smirk and turn around, when we started chanting "You're just a small town in England, small town in England". In conversation it also came up that one of the brits supported Derby County (who are currently bottom or second to bottom in the English Football premier league) so when the struggling English side were warming up in front of us, we started chanting "Are you Derby in disguise? Are you Derby in disguise?" which suitably wound him up - "We're going to avoid relegation..." lol yeah right.

So all in all, its been an eventful 24 hours.

Ukulele Vids

For your viewing pleasure, The Wellington International Ukulele Orchestra performing Hey Ya and the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain doing Smells Like Teen Spirit...

Confessions of a trash TV watcher

I think im becoming an addict for MTV style reality shows after watching the entire Newport Harbor Marathon on Sunday. If you aren't familiar with Newport Harbour - its the new Laguna Beach - and if that doesnt help, its basically rich american teens hanging out and dealing with their 'dramas'. Its so awful that its addictive. Also last night I ended up watching the new one - The Life of Ryan, which is about some pro-skateboarder (who I clearly should have heard of judging by all the people asking for autographs) and about his 'dramas' with his parents break up/his break up with his girlfriend etc etc. Rivetting stuff.

But as classy as these are - they still don't beat the uber-reality series - The Girls of the Playboy Mansion. I often wonder what their parents must think. I mean imagine those awkward catch up conversations - "oh so what is Holly doing these days?" "oh you know..... uh this and that".

These shows are kind of like car crashes - you can't look away - and its almost as though the enjoyment is in the cringing.

Also, on a completely different topic - its turns out that blow up dolls are too heavy to float when inflated with helium...

Ch ch ch ch changes

Well Obama picked up the all important South Carolina primary - thrashing Hill dog by 28 points!

Next up is Florida - which doesnt count for the Dems, and all eyes will be on the Republicans as this is Giuliani's first race. Giuliani has taken a huge gamble by opting to enter the race so late in the day - but if he can pull off an impressive win then he will be on track.

Anyway check out the video below - its pretty well done.

A goth's wet dream

Went and saw the latest Tim Burton/Johnny Depp collaboration - Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street this afternoon.It's Burton's first live action musical (not forgetting a Nightmare before Christmas) but don't expect "the hills are alive with the sound of music" as this is probably Burton's darkest feature yet.

It's the sort of film that you will either love, or hate. It's very graphic - but hilarious at the same time.

Burton stylistically borrows from Baz Luhrman a bit too in his presentation of London - its very reminiscent of Luhrman's Paris in Moulin Rouge. Depp and Helena Bonham Carter obviously dominate, with Depp often sounding almost like Bowie at times, but there are great turns by Timothy Spall, Alan Rickman and Sacha Baron Cohen as Pirelli the Italian barber.

So if you loved Burton's other films, chances are even though this is darker, you will love it. But it's certainly not for the squeamish and it may very well put you off shaving for life!

Turns out that Megatron's a dealer

Looks like the Autobots have finally got one over the Decpticonz. From Stuff on Friday

Friday, 25 January 2008
Megatron admits importing drugs

An unemployed man of no fixed abode pleaded guilty in Wellington District Court today to importing LSD and Ecstasy.

Judge Denys Barry remanded Megatron Eardley-Wilmot in custody for sentencing in the High Court on February 22.

The offences were committed between 2003 and 2005.

Larry + Barack = Greatest Combination ever!

Not only has Barack Obama blown apart Clinton's 'sure win' (a late November poll showed 72 per cent of americans believed she would win) with his strong showing in the Iowa and New Hampshire primaries, but he has also picked the endorsement I would value highest.

Larry David has endorsed Obama and is answering phones etc and encouraging college students to vote for him. How cool is that?

Anyway South Carolina and Nevada are next up for the Dems. Apparently 50 per cent of Democrat voters in SC are black - so in (incredibly generalised) theory that should play well for Obama... mind you I expect a similar ratio are women...

Still having been written off by many early in the piece, its undeniable something is happening in the US, and Obama is riding wave the likes of which we haven't seen since Bobby Kennedy in '68 and Reagan in the '80s.

The ICC are Monkeys

I say good on India for not taking the Australian cricket team/ICC crap lying down.

For years international umpires have had an odd fascination with sending 50/50 decisions Australia's way more often than not - but this latest series has taken the cake. Rahul Dravid was not out in the second innings, and I strongly question whether Sourav Ganguly's nick to the slips carried to Michael Clarke - let alone all the other disgraceful calls earlier in the test.

But I especially find suspending Harbhajan Singh for three matches for allegedly calling Andrew Symonds a "monkey", outrageous. The daft thing is - had Harbhajan called him a fucking cunt - there would be no suspension, but because monkey is a 'racist' slur he gets suspended. Either ban all sledging - or let it be on the field. But anyway, without getting too deep into hate-speech laws etc, amazingly the stump microphones apparently pick up their conversation, including Symonds' supposed reaction - yet you can't hear Harbhajan say the word monkey once. Further, one of the greatest batsmen ever, Sachin Tendulkar, who was also batting at the time, backs up Harbhajan's denials that he even said it. The umpires (not that you could exactly trust them anyway!) also didn't hear anything.

However, Tendulkar's testimony was dismissed by the ICC in favour of the 'evidence' provided by Australian captain, Ricky Ponting and Vice Captain Adam Gilchrist. Why is their evidence so much more convincing than a recording of the conversation and the testimony of two umpires and Sachin Tendulkar?? Clearly Ponting and Gilchrist are both are very sensitive and aware of racial taunts after years of abuse on the tough streets of Hobart and Perth and could just sense the tirade of racist abuse from Harbhajan??

I think not. This was bullshit gamesmanship on their part in an attempt to blunt the attack of one of the worlds best spinners. I say shame on Ponting for cheapening the game - this series should have been a battle of the titans of the world game - a celebration of cricket if you will. Instead Ponting has been so desperate to win and bring the Indian side down, that he has brought the great game into disrepute.

Anyway, hopefully India are using their time well, practicing all those cuss words the ICC find acceptable!

PS. Does anyone think Wisden or say the MCC will release a book of acceptable sledges?? Id love one!

Stop. Collaborate and LISTEN!

He may have been the ultimate one hit wonder, and David Bowie may have sued him for knicking the famous Ice Ice Baby dun, dun, dun, de, de, dun, dun from Under Pressure - but he's back on the mic baby.

Vanilla Ice is touring Australia apparently - only question is why isn't he coming here?? There is still such a large fan base here too! (I just joined the Facebook group)

As the man himself would say - WORD TO YOUR MUTHA.

Check out the Vanilla Ice Downunder Site

PS his westside-esque 'V' hand signal thingy is bad ass!

Christmas Cards

In general Im not a big fan of greeting cards. Although I did particularly like the card my aunty sent to my old man. It was a fairly non-descript card - but her message was priceless - "I hope you have a reasonable day". We think she was referring to the weather - but I like to think she isnt. Im going to make cards for 08 with that inspiring message.

Anyway, ex-LRUer Diana has a great article on awful family Christmas cards. Very funny.

Also who knew - but she also does stand up now!?!

Review of 07 part one

I see in the Sunday Star Times in an interview with our Helen, that her favourite film of the year was The History Boys - so I thought I should come up with my own little list.

Although before I go on, I am interested to know what others thought of that film. Obviously I liked it, but it's treatment of what was essentially kiddy-fiddling irked me a bit - or am I being a little over dramatic?

Its been a long and winding year for film - so many good ones kicked it off, but to be fair it did slow a bit.

Notes on a Scandal was great, as was the Last King of Scotland. The Queen was way better than expected, and For Your Consideration was the opposite. Shortbus was fantastic (I still laugh when I think of the old lady who litterally fell out of seat) and Pans Labyrinth was amazing. Also I shouldnt forget Transformers - it was more than meets the eye and 300.

I should also mention a couple of NZ efforts - Black Sheep was hilarious, as was Eagle vs Shark and The Devil Dared Me To from the Back of the Y guys was pretty good. At the other end of the scale, Out of the Blue, was incredibly well done - especially given the risky nature of the material.

On the doco front there was Michael Moore's Sicko which was ok, and the excellent but scary Jesus Camp.

But I actually think that while it may not fit the usual mould - By the power of Greyskull, my film of 2007 is Hot Fuzz. Now of course this is as much about attending the premiere and what not, as it is about being a kick ass film. I don't care - I think it ruled. To borrow from Spaced - Hot Fuzz was TFU (The Fuckest Uppest).

Dude, we can see you

This is almost too hilarious to be true (big ups to the journalist for some of those classic sentences too)

From the Manawatu Standard -

Sex act blamed on exam stress

A student masturbated in changing rooms in Kmart because he was under exam stress, a Palmerston North court heard yesterday.

But a judge said he doubted this was the whole story because he had a report that suggested the 24-year- old was sexually aroused by trying on new trousers.

However, Judge Gregory Ross in the end decided not to convict the masturbator, who admitted offensive behaviour in the store, and banned publication of his name. He ordered a $100 payment toward the cost of prosecution.

It happened in the middle of the day on December 5, Sergeant Chris Whitmore told the hushed court.

The student went into the changing rooms with two pairs of trousers, pulled down his own trousers, sat on the floor of one of the rooms, and began his venture into onanism.

But there was a metre gap between door and floor and two people saw what he was doing.

Rodents of Unusual Size

It turns out The Princess Bride was right! Rodents of Unusual Size do exist!

They have been discovered in the form of giant rats in the remote jungles of Indonesia - five times the size of those found in cities!

They are calling them 'Mega Rats' - badass

Stuff story here

With great Gusto

On the weekend I checked out Craft 2.0 over in the Hutt. I almost bought a pair of cufflinks - but credit-card guilt set in and I though better of it.

However, while over there we discovered a new (11 days old) brunch option - Gusto Bistro on Jackson St. I don't normally do the whole cafe review thing - but this was outstanding.

The coffee was fantastic - which for Petone is a big deal - I had the damn fine Eggs Benerizo with a Rosti, which was basically Eggs Benedict but with chorizo instead of ham, and a hash brown. The chorizo will blow your mind, and by all accounts the french toast was a taste sensation!

Its in an old dental chambers, but it looks more like an old bank, with wood panelled interiors. It seemed like a place that would be great for an evening meal too.

If I had a top 5 brunch spots (watch this space) this would make it. Check it out.

100 000 strong for the Phoenix

The Herald has a good article on how the Phoenix have gone. It covers how, for the first time, a NZ team's crowd figures have passed 100 000 for the season (excluding the Beckham game and training - another 47 000).

In drawing on Friday night, the Phoenix can no longer qualify for the play-offs (it was a long shot anyway), and I was worried that our dopey media organisations would stand back and moan that this is just like the Knights. It clearly isnt. The Phoenix had not much more than two months to pull a competitive side together - and they managed it. The crowd numbers have bettered what the Wellington Lions were getting for Air NZ Cup games, and have been, on average, ten times greater than what the Knights achieved.

What is most interesting in the article is that 14 December (the date the Phoenix passed the 100k mark) was the date in 2006 when the Knights had their League Licence revoked. Which captures the stark contrast perfectly.

So it was nice to see some recognition of what has been achieved - especially from the Auckland paper!

Huckabee's first family

How disturbing is this? Its new Republican front runner, Mike Huckabee's Christmas Card... this time next year - that could be the new first family.



Suddenly the Mormon and the adulterer aren't looking so bad!

Quality innit

There are a couple of great new shows on UKTV for the summer.

Jam and Jerusalem is Jennifer Saunders new show, and it features a who's-who of British Comedy in the cast - Joana Lumley, Dawn French (obviously), Sue Johnston, and Sally Phillips. Its about the Womens Guild in a small british town - Clatterford St Mary - and its crazy characters - French is outstanding as a sorta-slow-semi-retarded-but-well-meaning local. Its kind of like League of Gentlemen in many ways - but not anywhere near as dark.


Another outstanding pick is Steve Coogan's excellent show Saxondale, about his new character Tommy Saxondale - an ex-roadie who now runs a pest control company called "Simply the Pest". It screens Thursday nights at 9ish and is worth giving a shot - even though its nothing like Partridge. Plus after you've watched that hang around for the fantastic repeats of british drama/comedy Shameless at 11.

Also its good to note that Catherine Tate has hit the mainstream here with her excellent show screening on TV2, Friday nights.

And another thing - if you get bored - for those who remember the game show Shooting Stars on TV4 (Matt Lucas' first tv gig) check out their online games here on the BBC site. Uvavu!

The Obama/Oprah show

Ok I promise this is my last post this week on the US Elections!

But I had to mention the Obama/Oprah roadshow and what looks like a surge in support for Obama. Obama is a Bobby Kennedy style figure - gift of the gab, talks about 'hope' a lot and is the sort of person you would be proud to have as a leader.

However, till recently he has been well behind the Clinton machine - so he called in the big guns - namely Oprah. Oprah is able to make a book a best seller just by giving it some profile - and it may well be that her endorsement is a crucial moment in the Dem campaign.

In South Carolina, they had booked out an 18 000 seat indoor arena for their roadshow - it was too small, so they moved to a baseball stadium - and 29 000 people came to hear Obama and Oprah. In key battleground state of Iowa - 18 500 came out. Huge numbers in anyones language.

Below is a video of the "highlights" - if you want to watch their whole speeches go here

Bush Makes Surprise Visit To Work

In a fantastic piss-take, The Onion, has done a parody of Bush's visit to Iraq - with a piece on him making a surprise visit to the White House to do some work.

The article says that opponents have claimed that the trip was staged as a "media ploy" intended to convince the public that the administration's occupation of Washington, D.C. was not a lost cause.

"President Bush wants us to believe that he is in touch with the Bush administration," political analyst Garry Wills said.

Some of the best bits below -

"Am I late?" Bush joked to the group of approximately 200, who were led to believe they would be attending a ceremony to honor Secretary of Transportation Mary Peters. Bush's entrance received a standing ovation.

"It is incredible to see firsthand what you brave men and women do every day," Bush said to rousing applause. "You are all heroes."

Telling the group he wished he had the time to work alongside each and every one of them, Bush made general inquiries about conditions at the executive mansion, recruitment of new personnel, and where everyone was eating for lunch.

According to sources close to the president, Bush barely had time to rest during the four-hour visit. He first met face-to-face with several high-ranking U.S. officials, who briefed him on the situation in Washington. Bush then signed a number of documents, took a guided tour of the facilities, and in a symbolic show of support for the current administration, shook hands with the vice president.

and

"For most members of the White House staff, it was their first chance to meet the president. Many said they were "overcome" with excitement.

"When I was getting ready for work this morning, the last person I ever thought I'd see was the president of the United States," said Alexander Mistri, special assistant to the president for legislative affairs.

"I actually got to shake hands with the president," Secretary of Labor Elaine Chao said. "He seems like a very nice man in person.".

Read the article here

Haven't we had enough?

The Huffington Post has launched a series of great posters/billboards attacking the Republicans.

They list either people (Bush, Cheney, Libby, Rove etc), events (Abu Ghraib, Katrina etc) or the Bush Administration's slogans (pictured). I think they're a great way of capturing everything that people are sick of and framing the debate. The Huff Post are also calling for peoples ideas for future editions.

Stormin Morman

Republican Presidential candidate, Mitt Romney, made his big "don't fear me because im morman" speech recently, replicating Kennedy's catholic speech. But unlike Kennedy, who by talking about his faith - shut the issue down, Romney appears to have made matters worse.

While in most countries I don't think it would matter too much that you were Morman, it does in the US - with some states taking a particularly dim view of it. However, Romney had been competitive in most polls till uber-Christian, Mike Huckabee stormed ahead of Romney and the morally liberal, Giuliani. Hence, Romney is trying reach across all faiths in attempting to court the religous vote.

In this very good article, Matthew Yglesias rips into Romney following the speech -

It's hard to see this as anything other than an effort to trick people; the Mormon emphasis on Gethsemane rather than the crucification is not a trivial theological difference, nor is the fact that Mormons believe in "another," more important, Testament of Jesus Christ in addition to the Christian Bible. I don't personally have a stake in that quarrel but I paid enough attention in Bible class at Grace Church School to know that this isn't some nothing to be papered over.

However, my main issue with Romney is actually his flip-flopping. When he ran for Governor of the liberal state of Massachusetts he was pro-choice and pro-gay rights. Now he is running for President and trying to get the red-neck vote - he's pro-life and anti gay rights. Be one thing or the other and stick to it.

What is most pleasing is that while he may be polling well within the Republicans, he trails the leading Democrats in head-to-head polling according to the latest Curia newsletter.

Romney v Clinton (Clinton by 11 per cent)
Romney v Obama (Obama by 13 per cent)
Romney v Edwards (Edwards by 15 per cent)

Is this wrong

Im kind of comforted that im not the only person who wants to pash their new Mac!

Yes people it is official - after the whole Noel Leemings debacle, I have gone out and bought a new Mac (from Dick Smith - I am honouring the Noel Leemings Trade Embargo). I have flirted with the idea of getting a Mac for years, but always thought changing OS would be more trouble than its worth - its not - I love it, its ridiculously easy and I will never buy another PC again.

I even have the whole Skype whatsit downloaded! (or whatever you call it)

I guess this is one small step for man, one giant leap for Blackbird Singing.

My god I agree with Kerry!?!?!

Mayor Kerry has said we need to build a second Terrace Tunnel and a second Mt Victoria Tunnel. I have been harping on about this for ages!

We shouldnt be encouraging more cars into Wellington via Transmission Gully till the bottle necks have been dealt with! The Mt Vic tunnel especially is diabolical at peak times - as is the single southbound lane in the Terrace. We have major roading issues within the city - and encouraging more cars in without fixing existing problems is daft. (Also where will they all park?!?! There aren't enough parks now!)

While also actually finishing highway one by duplicating the tunnels, we should also improve public transport - so people don't feel they have to drive from areas like Paraparaumu and Waikanae. If we had fast, reliable rail (say a 20-25 minute trip) to the Kapiti Coast - then the need for Transmission Gully in the immediate future would greatly reduce. There is quite a good argument that the Gully would provide an alternative route out of Wellington - which is currently at risk of being cut off in a major disaster (if there are slips along Centennial Highway or Paekakariki or on highway 2 in the Rimutaka's).

What I would also love to see would be the revitalisation of the Railway Station - with a light-rail service link to the Airport - and why not have check-in kiosks at the Railway Station if you only have carry-on?

I just think spending a billion dollars on Transmission Gully before doing these things is stupid.

Beckham for sale.... well his leftovers

There's a really odd story on Stuff today about how Beckham's half finished glass of cola, half eaten corn-cob and the cuttlery he used during his now famous visits to Nandos are available to buy on Trade Me.

Apparently the waitress heard cash-registers ringing in her head and nicked off with it all to sell. The manager is in full support of this too.

In a sign that there is some sanity in the world - there havent been any bids yet. If you're nuts (or a stalker - not pointing any fingers... Gus) the starting bids for the cuttlery is $50 and $100 for the fucking corn cob.

I just hate think what else would be for sale if he used the bathroom!

NZ's actual best soul singer

I bought Whirimako Black's new album, the imaginatively titled 'Whirimako Black Sings' as a Christmas present for my old man (along with a pair of Man Pants screenprinted with a weta from the very excellent Wanda Harland store in Petone - he said "he always needs new underwear" when I asked him what he wanted."). So I gave it the obligatory listen - and I absolutely love it.

Black beats the pants off the highly touted Holly Smith. Smith is young and great and funky and all that - but for absolute cool factor, Black is fantastic. She comfortably pulls off a traditional soul style - while dropping in phrases of Te Reo. If you dig soul music at all (or think Holly Smith is great) - check it out, you're bound to dig it (or buy it for your parents and take a listen).

Nando's??

Well Beckham came and conquered the Phoenix in their friendly kick about on Saturday night. We did manage to see some fantastic passes and cross balls - and of course his goal (well penalty - which was a dubious call (the guy tripped himself) - fairly sure since he hadnt had a free kick they decided he needed to score a goal).

The other stuff he did was interesting - dinner at Monsoon Poon on Thursday night - but it was his lunch at Nando's that really surprised me - all that money and he still goes for the fried chicken sandwich!

Regardless of what people think of the guy - no one else could have got a crowd of 32 000 along to a football game in New Zealand.

When you add on the 15 000 strong crowd for the public training the Galaxy did on Friday and the nearly 19 000 at the Phoenix/Adelaide A-League game on Friday night - around 66 000 people attended football events at the stadium on Friday and Saturday. Only Rugby could normally attract a crowd like that here - so IMO it was definitely worth bringing Beckham and the LA Galaxy to Wellington.