Ukulele Vids

For your viewing pleasure, The Wellington International Ukulele Orchestra performing Hey Ya and the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain doing Smells Like Teen Spirit...

Confessions of a trash TV watcher

I think im becoming an addict for MTV style reality shows after watching the entire Newport Harbor Marathon on Sunday. If you aren't familiar with Newport Harbour - its the new Laguna Beach - and if that doesnt help, its basically rich american teens hanging out and dealing with their 'dramas'. Its so awful that its addictive. Also last night I ended up watching the new one - The Life of Ryan, which is about some pro-skateboarder (who I clearly should have heard of judging by all the people asking for autographs) and about his 'dramas' with his parents break up/his break up with his girlfriend etc etc. Rivetting stuff.

But as classy as these are - they still don't beat the uber-reality series - The Girls of the Playboy Mansion. I often wonder what their parents must think. I mean imagine those awkward catch up conversations - "oh so what is Holly doing these days?" "oh you know..... uh this and that".

These shows are kind of like car crashes - you can't look away - and its almost as though the enjoyment is in the cringing.

Also, on a completely different topic - its turns out that blow up dolls are too heavy to float when inflated with helium...

Ch ch ch ch changes

Well Obama picked up the all important South Carolina primary - thrashing Hill dog by 28 points!

Next up is Florida - which doesnt count for the Dems, and all eyes will be on the Republicans as this is Giuliani's first race. Giuliani has taken a huge gamble by opting to enter the race so late in the day - but if he can pull off an impressive win then he will be on track.

Anyway check out the video below - its pretty well done.

A goth's wet dream

Went and saw the latest Tim Burton/Johnny Depp collaboration - Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street this afternoon.It's Burton's first live action musical (not forgetting a Nightmare before Christmas) but don't expect "the hills are alive with the sound of music" as this is probably Burton's darkest feature yet.

It's the sort of film that you will either love, or hate. It's very graphic - but hilarious at the same time.

Burton stylistically borrows from Baz Luhrman a bit too in his presentation of London - its very reminiscent of Luhrman's Paris in Moulin Rouge. Depp and Helena Bonham Carter obviously dominate, with Depp often sounding almost like Bowie at times, but there are great turns by Timothy Spall, Alan Rickman and Sacha Baron Cohen as Pirelli the Italian barber.

So if you loved Burton's other films, chances are even though this is darker, you will love it. But it's certainly not for the squeamish and it may very well put you off shaving for life!

Turns out that Megatron's a dealer

Looks like the Autobots have finally got one over the Decpticonz. From Stuff on Friday

Friday, 25 January 2008
Megatron admits importing drugs

An unemployed man of no fixed abode pleaded guilty in Wellington District Court today to importing LSD and Ecstasy.

Judge Denys Barry remanded Megatron Eardley-Wilmot in custody for sentencing in the High Court on February 22.

The offences were committed between 2003 and 2005.

Larry + Barack = Greatest Combination ever!

Not only has Barack Obama blown apart Clinton's 'sure win' (a late November poll showed 72 per cent of americans believed she would win) with his strong showing in the Iowa and New Hampshire primaries, but he has also picked the endorsement I would value highest.

Larry David has endorsed Obama and is answering phones etc and encouraging college students to vote for him. How cool is that?

Anyway South Carolina and Nevada are next up for the Dems. Apparently 50 per cent of Democrat voters in SC are black - so in (incredibly generalised) theory that should play well for Obama... mind you I expect a similar ratio are women...

Still having been written off by many early in the piece, its undeniable something is happening in the US, and Obama is riding wave the likes of which we haven't seen since Bobby Kennedy in '68 and Reagan in the '80s.

The ICC are Monkeys

I say good on India for not taking the Australian cricket team/ICC crap lying down.

For years international umpires have had an odd fascination with sending 50/50 decisions Australia's way more often than not - but this latest series has taken the cake. Rahul Dravid was not out in the second innings, and I strongly question whether Sourav Ganguly's nick to the slips carried to Michael Clarke - let alone all the other disgraceful calls earlier in the test.

But I especially find suspending Harbhajan Singh for three matches for allegedly calling Andrew Symonds a "monkey", outrageous. The daft thing is - had Harbhajan called him a fucking cunt - there would be no suspension, but because monkey is a 'racist' slur he gets suspended. Either ban all sledging - or let it be on the field. But anyway, without getting too deep into hate-speech laws etc, amazingly the stump microphones apparently pick up their conversation, including Symonds' supposed reaction - yet you can't hear Harbhajan say the word monkey once. Further, one of the greatest batsmen ever, Sachin Tendulkar, who was also batting at the time, backs up Harbhajan's denials that he even said it. The umpires (not that you could exactly trust them anyway!) also didn't hear anything.

However, Tendulkar's testimony was dismissed by the ICC in favour of the 'evidence' provided by Australian captain, Ricky Ponting and Vice Captain Adam Gilchrist. Why is their evidence so much more convincing than a recording of the conversation and the testimony of two umpires and Sachin Tendulkar?? Clearly Ponting and Gilchrist are both are very sensitive and aware of racial taunts after years of abuse on the tough streets of Hobart and Perth and could just sense the tirade of racist abuse from Harbhajan??

I think not. This was bullshit gamesmanship on their part in an attempt to blunt the attack of one of the worlds best spinners. I say shame on Ponting for cheapening the game - this series should have been a battle of the titans of the world game - a celebration of cricket if you will. Instead Ponting has been so desperate to win and bring the Indian side down, that he has brought the great game into disrepute.

Anyway, hopefully India are using their time well, practicing all those cuss words the ICC find acceptable!

PS. Does anyone think Wisden or say the MCC will release a book of acceptable sledges?? Id love one!

Stop. Collaborate and LISTEN!

He may have been the ultimate one hit wonder, and David Bowie may have sued him for knicking the famous Ice Ice Baby dun, dun, dun, de, de, dun, dun from Under Pressure - but he's back on the mic baby.

Vanilla Ice is touring Australia apparently - only question is why isn't he coming here?? There is still such a large fan base here too! (I just joined the Facebook group)

As the man himself would say - WORD TO YOUR MUTHA.

Check out the Vanilla Ice Downunder Site

PS his westside-esque 'V' hand signal thingy is bad ass!

Christmas Cards

In general Im not a big fan of greeting cards. Although I did particularly like the card my aunty sent to my old man. It was a fairly non-descript card - but her message was priceless - "I hope you have a reasonable day". We think she was referring to the weather - but I like to think she isnt. Im going to make cards for 08 with that inspiring message.

Anyway, ex-LRUer Diana has a great article on awful family Christmas cards. Very funny.

Also who knew - but she also does stand up now!?!

Review of 07 part one

I see in the Sunday Star Times in an interview with our Helen, that her favourite film of the year was The History Boys - so I thought I should come up with my own little list.

Although before I go on, I am interested to know what others thought of that film. Obviously I liked it, but it's treatment of what was essentially kiddy-fiddling irked me a bit - or am I being a little over dramatic?

Its been a long and winding year for film - so many good ones kicked it off, but to be fair it did slow a bit.

Notes on a Scandal was great, as was the Last King of Scotland. The Queen was way better than expected, and For Your Consideration was the opposite. Shortbus was fantastic (I still laugh when I think of the old lady who litterally fell out of seat) and Pans Labyrinth was amazing. Also I shouldnt forget Transformers - it was more than meets the eye and 300.

I should also mention a couple of NZ efforts - Black Sheep was hilarious, as was Eagle vs Shark and The Devil Dared Me To from the Back of the Y guys was pretty good. At the other end of the scale, Out of the Blue, was incredibly well done - especially given the risky nature of the material.

On the doco front there was Michael Moore's Sicko which was ok, and the excellent but scary Jesus Camp.

But I actually think that while it may not fit the usual mould - By the power of Greyskull, my film of 2007 is Hot Fuzz. Now of course this is as much about attending the premiere and what not, as it is about being a kick ass film. I don't care - I think it ruled. To borrow from Spaced - Hot Fuzz was TFU (The Fuckest Uppest).

Dude, we can see you

This is almost too hilarious to be true (big ups to the journalist for some of those classic sentences too)

From the Manawatu Standard -

Sex act blamed on exam stress

A student masturbated in changing rooms in Kmart because he was under exam stress, a Palmerston North court heard yesterday.

But a judge said he doubted this was the whole story because he had a report that suggested the 24-year- old was sexually aroused by trying on new trousers.

However, Judge Gregory Ross in the end decided not to convict the masturbator, who admitted offensive behaviour in the store, and banned publication of his name. He ordered a $100 payment toward the cost of prosecution.

It happened in the middle of the day on December 5, Sergeant Chris Whitmore told the hushed court.

The student went into the changing rooms with two pairs of trousers, pulled down his own trousers, sat on the floor of one of the rooms, and began his venture into onanism.

But there was a metre gap between door and floor and two people saw what he was doing.

Rodents of Unusual Size

It turns out The Princess Bride was right! Rodents of Unusual Size do exist!

They have been discovered in the form of giant rats in the remote jungles of Indonesia - five times the size of those found in cities!

They are calling them 'Mega Rats' - badass

Stuff story here

With great Gusto

On the weekend I checked out Craft 2.0 over in the Hutt. I almost bought a pair of cufflinks - but credit-card guilt set in and I though better of it.

However, while over there we discovered a new (11 days old) brunch option - Gusto Bistro on Jackson St. I don't normally do the whole cafe review thing - but this was outstanding.

The coffee was fantastic - which for Petone is a big deal - I had the damn fine Eggs Benerizo with a Rosti, which was basically Eggs Benedict but with chorizo instead of ham, and a hash brown. The chorizo will blow your mind, and by all accounts the french toast was a taste sensation!

Its in an old dental chambers, but it looks more like an old bank, with wood panelled interiors. It seemed like a place that would be great for an evening meal too.

If I had a top 5 brunch spots (watch this space) this would make it. Check it out.

100 000 strong for the Phoenix

The Herald has a good article on how the Phoenix have gone. It covers how, for the first time, a NZ team's crowd figures have passed 100 000 for the season (excluding the Beckham game and training - another 47 000).

In drawing on Friday night, the Phoenix can no longer qualify for the play-offs (it was a long shot anyway), and I was worried that our dopey media organisations would stand back and moan that this is just like the Knights. It clearly isnt. The Phoenix had not much more than two months to pull a competitive side together - and they managed it. The crowd numbers have bettered what the Wellington Lions were getting for Air NZ Cup games, and have been, on average, ten times greater than what the Knights achieved.

What is most interesting in the article is that 14 December (the date the Phoenix passed the 100k mark) was the date in 2006 when the Knights had their League Licence revoked. Which captures the stark contrast perfectly.

So it was nice to see some recognition of what has been achieved - especially from the Auckland paper!

Huckabee's first family

How disturbing is this? Its new Republican front runner, Mike Huckabee's Christmas Card... this time next year - that could be the new first family.



Suddenly the Mormon and the adulterer aren't looking so bad!

Quality innit

There are a couple of great new shows on UKTV for the summer.

Jam and Jerusalem is Jennifer Saunders new show, and it features a who's-who of British Comedy in the cast - Joana Lumley, Dawn French (obviously), Sue Johnston, and Sally Phillips. Its about the Womens Guild in a small british town - Clatterford St Mary - and its crazy characters - French is outstanding as a sorta-slow-semi-retarded-but-well-meaning local. Its kind of like League of Gentlemen in many ways - but not anywhere near as dark.


Another outstanding pick is Steve Coogan's excellent show Saxondale, about his new character Tommy Saxondale - an ex-roadie who now runs a pest control company called "Simply the Pest". It screens Thursday nights at 9ish and is worth giving a shot - even though its nothing like Partridge. Plus after you've watched that hang around for the fantastic repeats of british drama/comedy Shameless at 11.

Also its good to note that Catherine Tate has hit the mainstream here with her excellent show screening on TV2, Friday nights.

And another thing - if you get bored - for those who remember the game show Shooting Stars on TV4 (Matt Lucas' first tv gig) check out their online games here on the BBC site. Uvavu!

The Obama/Oprah show

Ok I promise this is my last post this week on the US Elections!

But I had to mention the Obama/Oprah roadshow and what looks like a surge in support for Obama. Obama is a Bobby Kennedy style figure - gift of the gab, talks about 'hope' a lot and is the sort of person you would be proud to have as a leader.

However, till recently he has been well behind the Clinton machine - so he called in the big guns - namely Oprah. Oprah is able to make a book a best seller just by giving it some profile - and it may well be that her endorsement is a crucial moment in the Dem campaign.

In South Carolina, they had booked out an 18 000 seat indoor arena for their roadshow - it was too small, so they moved to a baseball stadium - and 29 000 people came to hear Obama and Oprah. In key battleground state of Iowa - 18 500 came out. Huge numbers in anyones language.

Below is a video of the "highlights" - if you want to watch their whole speeches go here

Bush Makes Surprise Visit To Work

In a fantastic piss-take, The Onion, has done a parody of Bush's visit to Iraq - with a piece on him making a surprise visit to the White House to do some work.

The article says that opponents have claimed that the trip was staged as a "media ploy" intended to convince the public that the administration's occupation of Washington, D.C. was not a lost cause.

"President Bush wants us to believe that he is in touch with the Bush administration," political analyst Garry Wills said.

Some of the best bits below -

"Am I late?" Bush joked to the group of approximately 200, who were led to believe they would be attending a ceremony to honor Secretary of Transportation Mary Peters. Bush's entrance received a standing ovation.

"It is incredible to see firsthand what you brave men and women do every day," Bush said to rousing applause. "You are all heroes."

Telling the group he wished he had the time to work alongside each and every one of them, Bush made general inquiries about conditions at the executive mansion, recruitment of new personnel, and where everyone was eating for lunch.

According to sources close to the president, Bush barely had time to rest during the four-hour visit. He first met face-to-face with several high-ranking U.S. officials, who briefed him on the situation in Washington. Bush then signed a number of documents, took a guided tour of the facilities, and in a symbolic show of support for the current administration, shook hands with the vice president.

and

"For most members of the White House staff, it was their first chance to meet the president. Many said they were "overcome" with excitement.

"When I was getting ready for work this morning, the last person I ever thought I'd see was the president of the United States," said Alexander Mistri, special assistant to the president for legislative affairs.

"I actually got to shake hands with the president," Secretary of Labor Elaine Chao said. "He seems like a very nice man in person.".

Read the article here

Haven't we had enough?

The Huffington Post has launched a series of great posters/billboards attacking the Republicans.

They list either people (Bush, Cheney, Libby, Rove etc), events (Abu Ghraib, Katrina etc) or the Bush Administration's slogans (pictured). I think they're a great way of capturing everything that people are sick of and framing the debate. The Huff Post are also calling for peoples ideas for future editions.

Stormin Morman

Republican Presidential candidate, Mitt Romney, made his big "don't fear me because im morman" speech recently, replicating Kennedy's catholic speech. But unlike Kennedy, who by talking about his faith - shut the issue down, Romney appears to have made matters worse.

While in most countries I don't think it would matter too much that you were Morman, it does in the US - with some states taking a particularly dim view of it. However, Romney had been competitive in most polls till uber-Christian, Mike Huckabee stormed ahead of Romney and the morally liberal, Giuliani. Hence, Romney is trying reach across all faiths in attempting to court the religous vote.

In this very good article, Matthew Yglesias rips into Romney following the speech -

It's hard to see this as anything other than an effort to trick people; the Mormon emphasis on Gethsemane rather than the crucification is not a trivial theological difference, nor is the fact that Mormons believe in "another," more important, Testament of Jesus Christ in addition to the Christian Bible. I don't personally have a stake in that quarrel but I paid enough attention in Bible class at Grace Church School to know that this isn't some nothing to be papered over.

However, my main issue with Romney is actually his flip-flopping. When he ran for Governor of the liberal state of Massachusetts he was pro-choice and pro-gay rights. Now he is running for President and trying to get the red-neck vote - he's pro-life and anti gay rights. Be one thing or the other and stick to it.

What is most pleasing is that while he may be polling well within the Republicans, he trails the leading Democrats in head-to-head polling according to the latest Curia newsletter.

Romney v Clinton (Clinton by 11 per cent)
Romney v Obama (Obama by 13 per cent)
Romney v Edwards (Edwards by 15 per cent)