Dude, we can see you

This is almost too hilarious to be true (big ups to the journalist for some of those classic sentences too)

From the Manawatu Standard -

Sex act blamed on exam stress

A student masturbated in changing rooms in Kmart because he was under exam stress, a Palmerston North court heard yesterday.

But a judge said he doubted this was the whole story because he had a report that suggested the 24-year- old was sexually aroused by trying on new trousers.

However, Judge Gregory Ross in the end decided not to convict the masturbator, who admitted offensive behaviour in the store, and banned publication of his name. He ordered a $100 payment toward the cost of prosecution.

It happened in the middle of the day on December 5, Sergeant Chris Whitmore told the hushed court.

The student went into the changing rooms with two pairs of trousers, pulled down his own trousers, sat on the floor of one of the rooms, and began his venture into onanism.

But there was a metre gap between door and floor and two people saw what he was doing.