Fly fat ass fly!

This Christmas I knew all but one of the gifts I was receiving prior to the day - which I was kind of a little dirty about, not that I wasn't happy with what I knew was under the tree for me, but you know the odd surprise is a good thing.

But said gift that I didnt know made it all ok - a four dvd set of the "An Evening with Kevin Smith" series. For those who dont know - Kevin Smith is a fanboy film director who served up two of my all time favourite films - Clerks and Chasing Amy, and the excellent Mallrats (the title of this article is of course a line from Mallrats), Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and of course Clerks II.

The DVDs feature Kevin Smith going around colleges in the US, and then shows in London and Toronto where he basically takes questions on anything from the audience. Jay turns up in parts - where we learn his charming pick up lines "Yo you want me to get up in them guts?" and his favourite moves - Half, half, whole, swirrlllll.

But its Kevin Smith who kicks ass - delivering witty annecdotes on how he and his wife met, why Prince (as in Purple Rain) is a nutbar, why Tim Burton is an ass, what the good/obvious ending of Lord of the Rings should have been (with the added extra of Sam sucking Frodo off followed by Sam "bricking" in.... nevermind), why Mel Gibson sucks and has destroyed his career, but the best bits are Smith ribbing Affleck.

When signing copies of Dogma, Smith started writing "Is Gay" with a big arrow pointing to Affleck - Affleck found out about this and started doing the same thing (obviously with arrows pointing to Smith), so now when ever Smith gets a copy to sign where Affleck has written his bit on the cover - Smith now just writes "GIGLI" with an arrow. Touche.

But my favourite burn for Affleck was when he saw some article about himself which said how Smith and Affleck no longer get on, and he rang up Smith mildly shocked to talk about it, when Smith said "No dude I havent read it, I've been too busy dodging falling stars". BURN.

If I had a Top 5 all time present list - this would be up there.

Although now I think of that getting Tomahawk and Havoc one Christmas was bad ass, and then then all four Ninja Turtles one year rocked as well. Hmmmm may have to think over that statement a little further.